I remember your 'vexatiousness', appropriately. How dare you correspond!
Home Ed is fab - but I appreciate that I'm saying that as a mother of one child. I know how much harder it can be with a bigger family. Also it's not perfect - we have encountered problems just as we did in school - but they're easier to resolve when you can go your own way and not have to justify your choices to a higher authority. If a situation isn't right, you can just move on.
I do whatever I feel ds needs and since starting HE nearly three years ago, I've considerably reduced his academic curriculum in favour of more work on developing his personal skills, AS/ADHD awareness, independence etc. He has LOTS of socialising/leisure time as I feel that's important. IMO, it's no good being brilliant academically if you lack the skills to interact in society, so that's what I work on as a main priority. Once he's got all that going (and he's making astonishing progress in that direction), the book-learning will fall into place much more easily.
That said, we're not lax in that direction either. He's just done Maths IGCSE this summer (results on Thurs - eek!) and is studying four other IGCSE subjects with another starting in a few months. It's all about balance, I think, depending on what the individual needs. Something that few schools are equipped to achieve in my experience.
Good luck with HEing - how old is yours? Are they enthusiastic?