First day of high school went well

[Chummybud1]

my son started high school today and all went relatively well.

He made the bus journey without being sick.
He found his way around reasonably well
He liked the teachers.

Only faults
He had no one to sit with at lunch, some older kids sat with him.
He was left himself at break, but he seen some kids running, so he joined in. He does not know why they were running but said it was fun.

He wants to go tomorrow.

Hi lostinwales

I was physically I'll at the thought of him going, school has always been a challenge and the summer hols were a mix of panic and despair. My son was so anxious that he could not sit still, was having nightmares, that's if he slept at all.
I am sure that things will go well for your son. I think secondary school are more prepared for kids like ours as they deal with larger numbers and wider ranges of kids than primary schools.

I am sure my son will have a few ups and down butat least it has started off well. I truly hope things are as easy for your son and please let us know how he gets on. Fingers crossed for him.

Thank you chummy, I can barely think about it at the moment without feeling tearful. You are completely right about schools now, they seem so much more ready and open towards boys like ours. I'm still preparing my disguise to hang around outside the school for the first year week though. I was reading your thread earlier whilst he was sitting next to me so I told him that your son was like him and was coping really well, he was really happy. We want an IT club now He's putting a good face on things at the moment but he's even more his unique self so I can tell he's wound up. I don't think there will be much left of the house at this rate, roll on September

hellooo, this is a great thread indeed. I've not been on MN much this summer due to the fact that we told DS1 he could choose where we went on holiday before he went to big school and he chose Italy (result!) but there is no way he will go near an airport let alone a plane. Still it's only been three weeks and 2,600 miles round trip... (we've had an awfully big adventure and, thankfully, it's been amazing)

Lostinwales well done. My son goes nowhere and struggles in all public places. We took him to cinema, first time in years, he freaked and had to be physically helped out. So well done for getting to italy.

As for the disguise I will lend you mine. My ds walk to bus stop every print, this is when I must let dog out, or empty bin, same at home time.

It is so good to be in touch with people in same boat, it would be great if there was a way our boys could share their experiences to help each other.

I would just like to say to you and Ellon, kids like ours are already more prepared than most kids for life due to all the battles they have already fought and won. As far as real life experience goes, accepting that not everything comes easy is a lesson they have already learned.

Your boys I am sure will be ok. Because they have us on their side.

Aww that's really lovely, Chummy, thanks.

I'm lucky that DS2 isn't a worrier, more of a 'have a big strop and cry when things aren't going his way, but be fine 10 mins later' sort of child, so it's only been me worrying.

Wow, lost, 2,600 mile round trip! I'm glad it went well. I'd forgotten about the disguises.

My son normally is so laid back, but when he finds something to worry about it's extreme. He builds it up in his mind till he ends up sweating, shaking, rocking, this usually ends in an asthma attack. He especially hates any busy places and can't cope with sudden loud noises, and hates listening to music.

He sounds like he's hypersensitive to noise, maybe? My DS (ASD) is hypo-sensitive to most sensory stuff, including noise and movement, so he actively seeks out noise and movement. It makes him quite 'extreme' but it makes cinemas, swimming pools etc easy to visit. What did the OT say about his sensory profile? It's my own theory that children who are mostly hypersensitive to sensory stuff are generally more likely to suffer from anxiety. Probably bollocks!

Wow! well done young chummy! What a great first week and I am glad he loved the horses. Personally I am scared stiff of them but DS has been riding twice and he loved it.

DS is going back to the same school but I got to admit I am dreading it. As he had only been back the last 3 weeks of term part time mornings and just got settled with the routine. Now he is going back he has a new teacher who they havent introduced him to and they are taking away his favourite TA which they didnt have the guts to break to him either. That was left to me.

I want this SA to hurry up. As they keep pushing to integrate him back to full time and ask day after bloody day. But he is only able to cope up till lunch then he has had enough. Proof? There were no meltdowns for the whole 3 weeks and all his jobs were done (hes 6 he calls schoolwork jobs) So I guess instead of anxious with new I am anxious with old with new enviroment [class] and teach/ta that dont know him, without as yet a statement. I can see it being a rocky few weeks....

Coff I am so sorry
In my sons old school he had a teacher who just didn't get it. A major issue for kids like mine is that one day he could do something the next not. She would roar and shout at him. It got to stage he was barely in school a full week. It's so hard to explain things to every individual within the school. Another difficulty I found is that there is a fine line between being seen as doing best to being viewed as over protective. My son is violently sick when travelling, all I got concerning trips is oh he will get used to it the more he travels. He can only do the school journey now due to being heavily medicated and this in turn makes him Ill. I know how difficult it is.

I really hope things go smoothly for your son and he gets on better than last time.

My advice to all parents is prepare a pack. I prepared a pack regarding my sons needs, just simple bullet points that I give to every teacher that is involved with him. I don't care if they think it's over board because I have it to fall back on when they say "oh I didn,t realise shouting would be an issue" etc.

Ellon my son does have sensory issues, I kind of expected at some point he would get an added or different diagnosis but ut never happened. It's a real shame because he can't go to swimming, cinema, shopping, parties etc. Bonus for me is he is always quiet.

Well on the start of my pack I best put for the TA and the Teacher that he wont like you And it will likely to be that way until his old TA leaves the school building. Because I can see him running to her or running off to look for her at every oportune moment! its a real shame as she has been the only one that has clicked with him and he is about to start year 2 now so thats how long its been for him to gain trust.

On a sensible note the Pack idea is a great one! so instead of pondering about it over the rest of the hols I think I will start to prepare one

DS has sensory issues in Auditory/visual and Auditory filtering mixed with underresponsive/sensation seeking and tactile sensitivity. So basically if a demand doesnt sink in quick enough and he is still trying to process it at the same time the teacher is then giving him a consequence he shuts out, doesnt like to be touched and runs to the nearest place he can yell or scream or jump off something high. He is a bit of a mix shall we say

Coff your poor wee son. My son struggles with processing information, so if you give him to many instructions or ones that are not specific he just looks blank. This alone drives teachers crazy. Maybe you could put in your sons pack, please make sure to provide high blocks so my son can jump off lol

He does the funniest things, the teacher one time asked him to take the roles of toilet role from the cupboard and put them in the toilet, (they were making space in a cupboard and the janitor was replacing the roles in the bathroom) my son got it kind of, he took the toilet rolls and put them down the toilet. Lol

The other week I was running late to take him and told him to put his shoes on, he put to odd shoes on, not just that they were both left feet. I took him to school, we walked and he didn't complain so I never realised. I was tidying the shoes later that morning and realised I only had right odd shoes. I had to take one shoe to the school.

Seriously though are kids are a mix of god know what but the certainly brighten up our days.

I would really recommend the packs as they do help and can put your mind at rest

Oh Chummy! I am laughing at the expense of your DS I am afraid! that was soo funny about the toilet rolls

Yes DS has trouble with instructions and they know this. Unless I hold his face in my hands and repeat what I want him to do there is no hope of it happening anytime soon I think they have learnt this the hard way at school so are very apt in pouncing on him and giving him personal instructions.

And you are right they are our rays of sunshine! I resign myself to the fact that most people do puzzles on nintendos and Wiis as they say it keeps your mind young and alert. My DS is a life size puzzle alright and I have definately no chance of going senile anytime soon!

Hey no worries I laugh at his expense every day as does he.

Your right they keep us going and give us an insight into how people really work. I wouldnt change him for the world I would change everyone else so they got him.

Chummy, how nice that your DS coped so well with first week at big school.

My ds started last Tuesday. After 9 years (nursery and primary) of me taking her, she had to get a taxi, with strangers, to go to this strange school.

And did she cope, you bet. First morning, though, I drove up the road behind the taxi and parked in car park ande watched SLA meet the children and take them in.

And after never doing PE the whole time in primary, she actually did RUGBY on Friday. I was.....no, I am.....so, so proud. She has ASD and LD, yet she seems to have adapted to secondary school like a duck to water.

She is not fully mainstream, they have a base of about 8 pupils and they dip in and out of the mainstream classes. She calls it the "Artistic Base", which I think is so very, very lovely. Apart from that, she is totally unaware that she is being treated differently.

I hope your DS continues to thrive, it is hard for parents, but we can only hope that they come home each day with a smile on their faces :)

YAY! another success story!

That is wonderful AmIthatbad. It must be a very good school for her to feel so comfortable

Hey amithatbad, that's great news and well done to you dd, it's such a relief but had to snogger at you following the taxi. And doing rugby that is amazing, let's all keep ours fingers crossed that the happiness continues.

Coff when does you wee one go back so we can cross our fingers for him.

He goes back on the 6th Sept Chummy. 13 days and counting. I have been doing a sort of "I like" "I dont like" or I am anxious when list for the new teacher/TA. Just to help me feel like I have given him a fighting chance on his first day. Going to email the HT about the upcoming psych appointment, OT appointment (not got dates yet but both should be happening in Sept). To save me having to reel it all off on day one. My nerves dont cope well in the morning before a second cup of coffee

How did your DS fare today Chummy ?

Reality setting in a bit this morning. No more jumping out of bed with a spring in his step. He also decided that being sick would be better than taking a sickness tablet so that was a fight and he left in a bit of a mood.

He did however return with a smirk on his face. He had another good day and even got to sit at lunch with a certain young lady who has caught his eye.

However it may appear all is well, but he has now took to checking his bag and getting all of us to check his bag to make sure he has everything in it, as a teacher said to the class that if they forgot their books there would be trouble. I have checked the same bag 8 times tonight.

Buying lunch is also proving an issue, today for snack my son bought 2 flapjacks and for lunch he bought 3 oh and apple so good attempt at healthy eating. I can't believe he spent £4 on goddam flapjacks and the dinner lady let him, so will have to phone school tomorrow.

So week 2 starting off good, please reassure me this is going to last because I have a feeling of impending doom.

He also has a meeting coming up with the child psychologist due to anxiety problems. He hasn't seen a psychologist before and I think we may be heading for an added diagnosis, so feeling nervous about that. any advice would be appreciated, what should I expect.

Coff I truly hope your son does as well as mine and I wish you best of luck for all your future appointment. I am really glad I started this thread cos I feel like we are going through this together, so thank you.

I'm glad it's going well, Chummybud. £4 on flapjacks, hmm? Can he take a packed lunch? I can imagine that the dinner ladies can't remember who had had what. I send DS1 with £2.50 per day and send him in with a snack from home, to save a bit of money.

I've spent the evening sewing name labels on blazer, tie and trousers and DH has ironed labels on to shirts. We're on holiday next week so have to get this sorted. We'll be tie tying tomorrow.

Thanks for the well wishes Chummy

I am glad your DS is still doing good. He is probably a bit more anxious because the first week the teachers are a bit lax as everyone has a chance to find their feet. Then the rules start coming in so it is bound to be a slightly different week for him as there will be more for him to remember. Has he got a diary or notebook? It might help him if he took short notes of what the teachers are saying instead of having to keep all the information in his head. He could then run through the checklist with you. Failing that if you can get a timetable from the school so you know what he needs to take each day, do a laminated list of the items for each day of the week that he can pen off, that might relax him in asking you to check all the time if he can see he has ticked it off

As for the lunch bit....lets hope he gets bored of flapjacks or the school runs out of them Maybe you could have a word with one of the teachers to just sneak up on him and without making a big hoo haa and holding his hand to the meal area, the teacher could just spot him buying a flapjack and suggesting he take a cooked meal instead. It might be the queing up and waiting thats bothering him. Does he eat a variety of food at home?

It could be that he is following suit with the others he is sitting with. I can remember buying nothing but doughnuts for a few days when I got to 6th form just because I could

Well not so good today. Got phone call today to go and collect him. He had pains in his arm and chest. Of course by the time I got there it was gone. I asked him what had happened and he said he had spent break practicing opening the doors because they are heavy and big and some kids had been laughing at him trying to open them.

He has no strength and is very small.

By the time we got home he was fine.

Awww bless him. Well at least the school are on the ball for phoning you if something is up. Take it as a drill

Glad he is ok. Fingers crossed it is a better day for him tomorrow x