Extremely violent tantrums out of control. Desperately need help please.

[makemineaquadruple]

Firstly, my dd is 4.9 and possibly has asd(mild) Mainly behaviour problems, social skills delay and repetative speech.

I was absolutely dreading her breaking up from school because I thought she'd be bored and need constant attention, which i obviously can't give all the time. She's actually been really good and I was wondering when the bubble was going to burst. Well it well and truely has exploded!!!

The last 4 nights have been a complete nightmare. I've been punched constantly, bitten to the point of drawing blood and needing medical assistance, scratched and constantly screamed at. Her behaviour is completely out of control and I have no idea what to do. I resort to shouting at her and restraining her purely for protection. Everytime she acts like this I promise myself that I wont lose my temper and every time I break that promise. I also say that she wont be having certain treats etc if she behaves like it again and she says that she wont and that she's really sorry. A few hours later and that's completely out of the window. She sometimes even laughs when she does it. If she's broken the skin she wants to see the blood, like she's proud of herself.

If you met her in the daytime(mostly) you'd be shocked because she's nothing like that. She's kind, thoughtful, gentle. It's almost like she has a split personality.

Please help someone. I really don't know what I can do anymore. It's getting to the point that I'm actually becoming scared of her. She's 4 remember. This is insane!

Thanks for taking the time out to read this.

If it doesn't hurt him, it's worth a try. If it doesn't work, don't do it again for at least another six months

For shouting? Completely ignore. Don't leave the room, don't make a big deal of it... Just send him to coventry. Don't look at him, speak to him or acknowledge his presence in any way shape or form. If he's going to do something harmful, move to prevent it. In total silence.

It drives folk bonkers

You have to stay completely po-faced throughout. You only have to do it once or twice before they catch on.

Think of it as a consequence that you must follow through. He needs to behave appropriately to earn your attention. To a child, any attention is good; this way, there is only positive attention available to get! If you need to say anything, say something like "When you're calm, we can talk" in a monotonous voice.

It's bloody hard to start with, but once you've mastered it you can use it in all sorts of situations twunts in shops and on buses

Oh, and it's not about better, or any other value judgement - it's about finding the right strategy to help him learn