"But they're my friends" - Sad in the park

[WilsonFrickett]

Was at the park with DS6 (communication disorder, not ASD but a lot of ASD-like issues) today and could see he was trying to communicate with some older kids on the big shared swing. I could see they weren't 'getting him' and there were a few smirks, but I left them too it as I'm trying not to helicopter too much and they weren't being overtly mean, apart from the smirking.

Anyway, the two bigger kids jumped off the swing and ran out of the park - I didn't see this, just saw DS running after them. When he came back I went to tick him off for leaving the park (not allowed) and tried to explain he probably shouldn't chase after older kids who are strangers. His response was 'but they were smiling at me and laughing at me so that makes them my friends.'

On the one hand I am so in love with this wee boy's innocent, pure take on life, on the other how is he going to make it through when he just cannot read other people? How is he going to cope with bullies and bigger kids, and snidey teachers and creepy bosses?

I agree Wilson, I do wonder where the horrible attitudes of some children come from, I don't think children are inherently mean or elitist. It must come from somewhere, I would be devastated if my children were being mean, or bullying children who were somehow different.

Adults who exclude children from parties need a good long look at themselves, it is so not on. I do wonder how ds1 will deal with the rough and tumble boys in later school tbh, his best friend in the world is a girl and he mostly talks of the boys in his class as naughty .

I very much doubt his bff will be his bff for the whole of primary school, although could be wrong.

With regard to the original post, I do think it's hard enough to focus on todays problems, without thinking about the future. Also, hopefully these kids can learn a few tricks between now and then.

My AS ds (9) tells me sweetly that he'd never mention bullying to a teacher as that would make the bully sad . In his case, he realises that no one likes him. Every time I see the other kids in his class going to each others houses after school I want to punch them all really hard .

But he has learnt things that I thought he'd never master (how to join in a game of football, how to actually say "hello" back, etc) and so I guess we should try and stay optimistic. Secondary school transfer scares the bejesus out of me tho'....