Apparently I shouldnt call myself a carer.

[thefirstMrsDeVere]

Because I am a parent. And you cant be both.

And you shouldnt call yourself a carer because you should see your child and not their disabilities.

And the stuff we do is covered by the normal parenting stuff.

so thats me told then

I think the term carer wasn't recognised in the dictionary til about 1974 and then women couldn't get it til around 1986 or thereabouts if my memory serves me right...their role was considered as carer/mother etc before then.
I'm sure this woman may be retired but surely she would've been around doing her job 25 yrs ago so she shouldn't be so ignorant. But there you go, sounds a bit like my own SW!!! She's a prat an' all!

This is taken out of context, of course, but this is what she said that was so bloody insulting.

I still don't understand why you want to perceive yourself as a carer of any kind, when in fact you are a parent. You say that first and foremost you are the child's mum, but you are his carer because he is disabled. Bur first and foremost your child is a child but one with disabilities, so why do you perceive yourself as his carer because he is disabled? You are his mother and that covers all aspects of caring for the child in terms of his physical, emotional, social development etc etc.

So, just a mother, like any other, then?

Obviously! ;)
Seriously though, it's not worth explaining that you need to do so much more. By stating that she doesn't understand, the subtext is that she doesn't want to understand, in her, somewhat narrow world, I suspect Mum is just Mum and always will be, and if Mum perceives herself as 'other' she is a matyr!

Grrr, what a load of tosh.

I do like warrior though.

"WilsonWarriorFrickett"

I likey

where was this thread i need to vent myself now
ive had a bad day and the steam is now pooring out of my lugholes aggghhh

On the adoptions board Vinnie.

Knock yourself out ranting

Sorry to hear you feel like that though. Can we help?

I think possibly well meaning(sighs) arnt they all but as you say out of the loop this is the 21st cent and weve moved on from 1970, she may well still be right on legal jargon but still we all ARE carers as well as wives and mothers reguardles of what she says is "just what dwp call it" so if mr cameron and co decide NOT to give carers allowance are we suddenly all going to be non carers , I dont think so, if we lose our dcs DLA are they suddenly able boddied / now non disabled anymore? of course not no matter what "they" call us were mums and carers because what we have to do what we have to experience and live with with little or no support from day to day, and it IS damn hard work that no parent of a NT child could ever imagine. we know what and who we are... thankfully we have each other because id go crazy if not for you ladiesvon MN.

im fine ty brigade kids complaining being bored they were in the swimming pool all day screaming bet the neighbours hate me, and lots little things going wrong , and hammy's ill dont think he will last the night poor tiny thing and could gladly kill DH but other than that its not too bad ds is happy with his new lego now (phew) sent DH to argos anything for some peace

Very good points about being a carer there.

Sounds just like my experience this week, Vinnie. I am so not coping with the holidays. My DC are lovely, gorgeous one at a time. DS with autism likes calm and quiet. DD loves noise and shouting games.

I would also like to kill DH

Here's the thing, I am absolutely a parent to DS, when we are doing mother/son type activities. For example, when I give him his dinner, I do so as his mum, like I would with DD.

However, then I do DS's extras. Such as giving meds, setting up and administering night feeds, and so on and so forth.

The extras, as we call them, are what make me a carer. A typical parent doesn't have to do these things with a healthy/NT child. And therein lies the difference. I had DS who has high care needs, I didnt realise how much work I actually put in until I had a normal DD. The difference is vast and only someone truly ignorant would make such a statement.