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SN children

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Original poster

breaking a routine

17 replies

Jimjams · 13/10/2003 12:47

OK ds1 has until very recently always sat in a trolley at the supermarket. Over the last few weeks he has walked round about half the shop. It now seems to have fixed into a routine where he gets in the trolley, then gets out at the fruit and veg aisle (and yes he is getting controlling about the route I take to get there). Now he is much better at walking with me there is no need for him to be in the trolley (and he is a big heavy 4 year old). Today when we went to get the trolley - and as we got out of the car I tried sayong "DS1 push trolley" "DS1 push trolley" over and over again, but as soon as we reached it he wanted in. (Satrted hitting himself and screaming "daddy"- which is trolley). Any idea how to break this one? I don't think he has the understanding for social stories.

it's a routine that has "crept" up on me. I'm on the lookout- but missed this one as I was so pleased he was walking some of the time.

OP posts:

fio2 · 13/10/2003 12:56

Got no advice Im afraid Must be quite frustrating for you!

mrsforgetful · 13/10/2003 21:43

does the supermarket have 'kiddie trollies' or those 'little tykes' trollie cars? or can he be 'tricked ' into a different supermarket and falling for the 'this is what we do at THIS supermarket'.....I have a 'similar' prob with whenever i use the pushchair for my ds3 (he's a very small 4 yr old so i get away with it!!!)DS2- a very large almost 7 year old always wants a ride... i made the mistake of 'giving in ' as we had the 'sitting in the middle of the path with sweater pulled over his head and rocking to the chant "me want a ride" ' routine.... but it's got to the point now that he actually asks for the pushchair and refuses to go out unless he can go in it (now i've managed to be rigid on this one and he's not gone in it ....but journeys by foot are taking a lot longer at the moment when he's got this 'pushchair' thing in his head' Because he is so 'hard' when waling outdoors....i need ds3 strapped safely in puschair so i can concentrate on ds2....yet i am driven insane by his persistance!

JimJams... i only suggested those ideas for the shop as they sprung to my head....but i feel a bit odd....as it's normally you helping me! And i'm sure these are solutions that will be about as much use as me saying to my ds -aS i have- that he's too old and what do his friends think (ofcourse as he's got some degree of aspergers ....he couldn't care a *** what friends think!!

ScummyMummy · 13/10/2003 22:03

Chocolate button bribery/distraction at key stress points?

Or maybe do a few "mini" shops at quieter times for just one or two easy to find items and build up his tolerance for this change very gradually. Knowing that the shop will be very short might help you to ride out his distress. Don't know how practical that would be, though... when to do the rest of the shopping?

Hope you and mini-jimjams feel better about this soon.

Original poster

Jimjams · 13/10/2003 22:19

I don't dare do the car mrsforgetful a) because he'll want it everytime and b)because ds2 will want it as well

He will walk round Somerfield (as he's never been in a trolley there), but Safeway, Tesco and Sainsbury's have to be in a trolley. I had to stop going to Sainsbury's as they don't have double trolleys.

Honestly he gets in the trolley, then out the trolley at the fruit and veg aisle and then we have to go and look at the sinks behind the meat counter!!!! I don't mind looking at the sinks, but all the to-ing and fro-ing into and out of the trolley is killing my back.

Chocolate buttons could work. That'll confuse him he won't know whether to leap on the buttons or carry on about the trolley.

Alternatively I could be more organised and do my shopping online (actually I'd rather not I approach shopping with ds1 as an educational opportunity).

OP posts:

maryz · 13/10/2003 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Jimjams · 13/10/2003 22:54

Hmm trouble is ds2 is always there- only time I can leave him really is with dh at a weekend and then the supermarkets are too busy for ds1 to sope with. TBH I think ds2 is fairly irrelevent to ds1 (he generally is - lol)

He does have a bit of a trolley obsession, gets excited if he sees one on tv, in an ad whatever. I may just have to wear a back support I will keep trying the reinforcing bit. "DS1 push trolley" etc. Buttons could be a really good idea. Next time I speak to the autism outreach worker I'll pick her brains as well.

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Eulalia · 13/10/2003 23:21

What about giving him other less 'rewarding' food - I feed ds his lunch in the trolley usually something easy like banana and sandwiches. Takes a long time to eat and distracts him. Having said that he was getting unbearable at times as he won't sit next to dd without interfering with her so has to sit in the trolley itself which means no room for shopping. Then he would jiggle ds and push the back of her seat squashing her. I hate shopping! Today in Asda he acutally walked round the shop without running off! However most of hte time he wants to push the trolley and I have to keep a hand on him to stop him running it into other shoppers...!

Can you give him something to do in the trolley to distract him? ie book (I got a good library book one time with a wheel on the front). Will he mind if you leave him briefly and walk away, ie stop at the end of the aisle and bring the fruit/veg to the trolley rather than push it up?

Eulalia · 13/10/2003 23:23

BTW jimjams I posted to you on the school thread a few days ago.

eidsvold · 14/10/2003 06:27

sorry no advice - just wanted to say it must be very frustrating for you.

You could then treat yourself to a massage as your reward... an hour by yourself with just the massage therapist... perhaps not a possibility but worth a thought.

dinosaur · 14/10/2003 17:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Davros · 14/10/2003 22:52

Jimjams, have been waiting to get time to read this thread properly before posting. Some good ideas, e.g. "planting seed", building up change gradually and using those lovely choccy buttons!
First, can't you let him stay in the trolley but work on him not getting out? My son still goes in the trolley and he is a BIG 8 year old. I dread when we can really no longer do it as we enjoy shopping together so much, The trolley is great for eye contact and interaction plus language development - he asks for things he wants me to get and chucks them in there (sometimes for later ). We go together on foot but its harder work and I can't do any real "meaningful" shopping. You could reinforce him with choc buttons for NOT getting out.
Second idea, if social stories no good, how about a mini visual schedule? For many years (to a greater or lesser degree) I've used a card with a simple 3 boxes alongside each other (landscape iyswim). They say "first" "then" "last". These really came into their own at mealtimes as he may use a PEC to ask for yoghurt or juice (or choc!) and that would go in "last". Its also very useful for activities, e.g. car, shop, home or more complex.
Third idea, does he have a toy shopping trolley? Cheap from Argos. I know this is a long shot as my son wouldn't necessarily relate the two but you never know, a shopping game might help?
As its shopping, I think its going to be a tough one unless you can work on short trips and building up to change gradually, that may not be possible. Sorry not more use.

Original poster

Jimjams · 15/10/2003 08:06

Lots of ideas here - thanks everyone. I want him to get out of the trolley davros becuase he's huge and squashes ds2 and I see that as the "next step" iyswim. He's also suddenly got very good at walking next to the trolley and even waiting at the checkout. I try to get him to put things into the trolley and take them off the shelf- eventually I have ideas of moving onto a pecs shopping list - lol but we're a while away from that.
Toy shopping trolley- he loves pushing his but insists on removing the basket!

Ooh sounds like he's up- better go. Thanks for the tips and I will try the buttons, and talking about pushing trolleys. Actually had another idea- usually at somerfield I have a basket or pile it into ds2's buggy, but if we go without ds2 I'll use a trolley there and get him to oush it there. Durr I am so daft- that didn't occur to me before- I'll let you know if it works

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Davros · 15/10/2003 10:29

I was wondering about a PECs shopping list. He could have a mini list and maybe you could cut pix out of those leaflets that come through the door or you get at check out featuing "bargains". If you do use photos you need to watch out for him getting too brand specific. Its fine (good) to diferentiate between, say crisps and Twiglets but I have a friend whose son will only have a certain brand of, say plain crisps, and not another and then suddently switches!

Original poster

Jimjams · 15/10/2003 10:36

Mind you we have to be fairly brand specific because of his gf diet. I do know what you mean though- he can be a bit too brand specific about yoghurts.

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Original poster

Jimjams · 15/10/2003 10:43

i was thinking of buying him the shopping trolley game for his stocking..... Could be feeding an obsession??? Do like the idea of a pecs shopping list though.

OP posts:

Davros · 15/10/2003 22:19

I got one of those leaflets through the door today. The pictures were good but there seemed to be lots of beer!

mrsforgetful · 15/10/2003 23:45

JimJams- loved the bit about 'feeding the obsession'....often wonder too!
And the 'brand specific' bit too- ds2 won't touch any choc spread other than Scotts 'missisipi mud'- my mum thinks i spoil him as i'always give in to him'....i've tried 'blending' makes and putting them in the same jar....no luck! Tonight was funny....once a week i make him his own toad in the hole- i'd ran out of plain flour so used one of those 15p value batter mixes i keep for such emergencies....it cooked and looked fine - and he ate it- but half way through he said 'this isn't right-it's like what nanny cooks not like my enourmous one you make me'...now it gets better..... his nanny uses the batter mix i'd used this time!!!! HOW DOES HE KNOW!!!! when i ate mine all i notice was that it was slightly heavier...the taste was the same! Soory i'm off trach again!

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