just picked up dd2 from pre-school and the SN teacher collored me, she thinks dd2 may have AS

[misdee]

feel a bit shocked but also relieved. have had suspecions about dd2 since she was a baby that something wasnt right. sn teacher is going to speak with the physio on weds as she is coming in to assess dd2 anyway.

so again, what next?

misdee if you want to chat anytime on msn give me your email

djmisdee hotmail.com

maybe she has LIZS but then i feel she has been honest with me and laid things out straight.

Hi misdee, it doesn't rain, it pours, eh ! X

Hypotonics gag IIRC...

..but anyway, on the guilt bit... one other 'angle' is that by not pursuing dx / treatment / informing nursery before now etc. is that you have given your dd every opportunity not to be labelled, which can have benefits too IYSWIM. Now this health pro thinks 'maybe something's up' fine, the ball has begun to roll, but FWIW, I don't think you've necessarilly done anything wrong just by waiting / seeing.

... I am also sure if her behaviour has been more unusual / problematic, or her health problems worse, you'd have been pushing for answers much earlier.

misdee- I've just emailed you. Bin any guilt please! It wouldn't have made ny difference anayway- Even if you had been pushing etc the very earliest they would dx AS is about now (and evben now they may want to wait as children can change so much that it can be difficult to tell in some cases).

maybe i havent maybe i have, i just dont know. teacher said lauren isnt struggling, just not interacting. her determination to do things 'right' is definatly not normal for a 3yr old. lots of little indicators. my younger sister who also works with SN kids for herts county SS, has said before that she feels lauren may be somewhere on the spectrum. said there was something but she couldnt put her finger on it.

thanks baka. shock beginning to wear off, with the aid of tea and chocolates.

going to try and not think about this now, otherwise i'll be analysing everthing she does.

She's still the same girl Misdee. And super clever and persistent and lots of v good things.

i know, she is still the same little madam who wakes me up by throwing a cup at my head singing 'its morning tiiiime'

emailed you again misdee.....

Thanks, i have just spent about an hour on the pohone blubbing to peter about how unfair it all is. i just dont have the energey today to do or think anything. i am not driving down to harefield as my mind keeps wandering and no dounbt i will cause an accident. why did this have to happen this week when everyone apart from mieow is away on holiday.

Misdee, not more worries! Really unfair.

Did you ask what her concerns were, exactly?
Part of me says 'ah but maybe dd is reacting to Dad's illness and withdrawn because of that' but the 'I have known since she was a baby' sounds so much like so many posts here, including my first post when Sam was referred for AS.

It's a hard thing to go through but when you know there's an issue, a dx of AS is also a huge relief. As our Cosultant said most kids with it go on to have perfectly happy lives.

I would recommend the National Autistic Society website as a start, also I would suggest reading 'Pretending to be normal: living with Asperger's Syndrome' by Liane Holliday Willey.

her concerns? laurens intensity about doing things 'right' till they are perfect. she will not leave an activity unfinished. and will work and work till its perfect in laurens eyes. she doesnt have her own imaginiation and wont initiate play/games without some outside prompting, she doesnt play with the other kids, will say hello and aknowledge they are there, but doesnt play with them. she will sit still and listen to the story but its like she isnt there.(the teacher said its like she is in her own little bubble). The teacher said is very intelligent and whizzes through puzzles (at home she is doing puzzles for a higher age group than they have at the pre-school), she does make eye contact but not for long. the teacher says she uses her hands in a certain way (cant remember how she described it, like all parts of her hands are very sensitive, and doesnt hold things like other kids). loads and loads of stuff.

my concerns at home. prety much same as abaove, copies her sister, wont do things of her own back, will copy nicoles pictures and not do her own, (is that a good sign or not?) nicole initiates games, lauren follows/plays along, wont initiate her own games.

All kids are different even when they have As misdee. The picture thing seems like Sam- he is a telented COPY artist. But he doesn't initiate games, and never says hello to anyone. He doesn't know to ask names either, doing his party invites was AWFUL! 'Well there's that kid with the glasses and that fat one....'.... arrghhh!

Thing is, the spectrum of AS is in itself huge. So there are kids with As where you'd never know it. In fact I'm being referred for AS dx myself, but until I went through it with DH / Mum everyone said they just thought I was quirky and a bit klutzy, with shyness on top. I've got a good marriage, had one career already and am heading for another when I graduate. It affects me yes, but I'm having a good life. Whereas other kids have so many other issues with communication, sensory stuff that they're nearer the top. Sam is about middle I guess, possibly climbing higher as the rest of his age group progresses. he's very bright but doesn't 'do' puzzles (that's his AS stubborness as opposed to an AS trait) and is finding reading a struggle but you know, is that because he is struggling from his AS with reading, or that his constant frustartion based attacks on his glasses mean he cannot see the writing most of the time? Who knows?

AS is very handy to identify because it helps you work with things differently, gives you a deeper understanding, builds you a support group BUT I have to keep in my mind all the time that AS kids are as individual as anyone else, and have as much potential.

For us, getting Sam into BIBIC was the key but there are so many ways to find out what is right for your dd. At least you have the menu now, you've just got to get the recipes (does that make sense? Probably not )

i have ordered three books, george and sam 9i know dd2 isnt that far along the spectrum but thought it would open my eyes some more), freaks geeks... and multicoloured mayhem(??)

My ds has Aspergers-type traits which are common with dyspraxia, I have to admit, but I also feel confident he will have a nice life (or if he doesn't it won't be that which is the problem). He's bright, eccentric, funny, all that. He is very interactive (VERY) but often on his own terms. And he is rubbish at hello, but getting better with prompting. And I'm lucky in that he is pretty laid back (mind you, takes hours to get him dressed etc as he is incredibly distractable).

thanks aloha, i think your ds is similar age to my dd2?

He was four in Sept Misdee. He is a lovely chap and very bright. Has taken to reading my MN posts over my shoulder - 'why are you saying THAT mummy?'

physio say no, gonna collor sn teacher myself this morning. totally confused

misdee it kind of strikes me that neither the SN teacher, nor the physio are qualified to diagnose/hypothesise about AS. If you are worried you need to see a paed.

thats what i am thinking. SN teachers says she is showing traits, physio says she has a few traits, asked about if she has played with other kids before (all her life), and dd2 was rolling about the floor alot tody when she went to assess her (mainly for hypotonia and to see how she does in a normal setting). physio says she coped well on the chairs there, but she falls off the ones at home. she cannot cope in noisy/straneg situations and goes into what io call 'safe' mode, which is usually curling up as small as can be, and switches off.

i upset ds1's 1st nursery manager (evil nursery) by telling her and her deputy that neither were suitably qualified to armchair analyse my son and that as he had been referred they would be better off waiting to see what the professionals said. They were well pissed off They were also evil witches and I removed him a few days later!

Seriou8sly though, people who are not qualified to dx are not helpful if they start speculating. Sure it is appropriate for them to suggest a referral- but not to start arguing amongst themselves as to the natureof her problems. Ask your GP for a referral asap if you are worried.

i will. i know i have sn teacher on my side, so thats good isnt it?