Evening people (trying not to put my socially inept foot in it by saying "evening ladies" just incase I am being un-pc)
My DS is 11. Was dx aged 7. Dx came as huge relief that there was a reason behind his difficult behaviour but was also the start of a period of grief when I realised that it wasnt just going to go away.
You can expect the appointment to last a couple of hours. The specialist will want to see your DS at his best (first 10 mins) and worst (last 10 mins) to get a good idea of his usual behaviour. Mine was an angel for the first 10 mins, about mid-point continued the appointment from under his chair (DS not Dr) and in the last 10mins tried to climb out of the window !!!! We came out with a firm DX of typical ADHD unsupprisingly.
School is a huge hit or miss affair - if they are good it can work wonders for your ds, if they are not good they can cause a huge amount of damage.
It is your job to become an expert on your ds's condition and teach everyone what they need to be doing - You will be the expert as you have spent 8 years with him and no-one can possibly understand his needs better than you do.
Research as much as you can with regard to diet and behavioural techniques but be aware that most of the stuff on the general internet relates to USA way of doing things (they are at least 20 years ahead of us on ADHD stuff). My personal experience is that diet has little effect on my DS but he personally gravitates towards junk and high energy foods but that may just be him and nothing to do with his ADHD.
Be aware that the headings of 1) impulsive 2) hyperactive and 3) inattentive can be a bit misleading ...... my ds can be anything but inattentive when it comes to something he is interested in - if fact you cannot prise him off the xbox when you want him to do something else. Look into what it really means under the context of ADHD not what you think it means from your general understanding of the english language.
ADHD is rarely found on its own. It is usually found with at least one other conditions such as Dyslexia, Autism, Oppositional Defience Disorder.
The older they get (usually) the more obvious the 'deficits' become (ie. there are more noticable differences between them and their class mates) which is why it can be difficult to formally recognise the younger they are - When a six year old is looning about like a toddler you are told (ah, they will grow out of it, or "its just a stage they are going through") - when they are still doing it when they are 11 years old it becomes more obvious and a bit more of a problem for you and your DS.
Expect a lot of resistance from friends and family - you will be amazed how many people "dont believe in ADHD" and will tell you to your face that in their "expert" opinion it is all down to bad parenting or something you have been doing (or feeding him).
There are as many good things about having ADHD as there are bad things - If you do get a formal dx then be honest with your DS - It is a reason but it is not an excuse. Mine is regularly told by me that "having ADHD is not an excuse to behave like that ... it is the reason that it requires more effort from you not to".
Understand why the symptoms are making it hard for your DS then you feel more empowered to put things into place to make it better for him to help him out where he needs help.
Try not to worry ...... there are several of us mums out here to help you out when you need it ..... just yell and we will come running ....... {hugs}