Feel bad

[ThomCat]

Lottie was invited to a party after school yesterday by one of the the kids. I get on well with the mum & the nana of one of the other kids I knew to be invited. So, as i work and my Dad collects Lots from school I said to the nana of this little girl could Lottie catch a lift with them to the party (3.30pm) and I'd leave work early and collect her (would be there 5.30pm).
All fine. The mum of the other little girl told me to shove some party clothes in a bag and her mum would change Lottie etc, very kind.

I arrived at 5.30 to collect and was greated by a gaggle of kids all saying "Charlotte's been crying'. Eeeeeekkkkk!

I went through and Lots was sat on the sofa in the crook of this nanas arm and when she saw me stretched out her arms and wouldn't stop kissing me. Once she'd finished, she looked at me with this grubby, snotty hot little face and said 'drink, drink, mummy, drink'.

The nana said 'we gave her some pure orange juice with water but she didn't seem to like it'
She only ever drinks water. I felt so bad that I hadn't said to her beforehand and so bad on Lots.

Then I realised she was wearing the big jumper I'd shoved in the bag just in case and not the little blouse I'd put in, so must have been baking. More stuff to feel bad about.

One of the mums said 'she doesn't like music much does she'. Well actually she does, she bloody loves it, her dad is a DJ and we play dance music v loud and she can't get enough of it. It was obvously just all a bit much for her at the party.

I felt so bad on the other kids, the mum whose house it was, the nana that looked after her even though her own granddaughter was there, and on Lottie.

I had told Lots what was happening in the morning but obviously she can't massively understand it all and she can't say, 'where's mum], 'I don't like it' or anything.

I just hadn't thought it through.
I didn't want her to miss out on the party.
I didn't want my dad to have to hang round, the only bloke, at a kids party.
I thought this was the solution.
Hadn't thought what it would be like if Lots was tired, and not up for it, didn't know whta was happening etc.

Parties and Sn's are tricky anyway, and I threw her into one and wasn't there for her.

I know there was no real harm done, just feel a bit rubbish about it really.

Sorry for long post, again.

You sound so sad TC. I am sure she will be fine tomorrow. She was probably overtired and, like you say, a bit hot and thirsty.

Dont worry too much.

Awww TC, I understand too You feel so guilty when you send them off, when you're the only person who knows what they really want.
As you said no real harm done, she was with good people and safe, and perhaps they have all learned something today
Bless ya xx

Don't feel so bad, your intentions were good. It could have gone either way and you know now for next time.

Ahhh I'm hormonal which doesn't help, soppy old mare at the best of times, but yeah this was a bottom lip moment and keep saying 'ohhhh shit' to myself when I think of pickle crying and everyone else but me having to deal with it. This nana is so, so lovely, she's been so kind and I really feel like I put upon her. I'm going to send her a bouquet of flowers, not just for this party thing but as she is the only one who helps me carry Lottie from car to entrance every day. She's just so lovely to me.

Aw, TC - so sorry you've been upset Just think how glad Lottie was to see you and how she knew you'd be coming to get her because you always do.

See you tomorrow - really looking forward to it

oh no- poor you and lottie. Please don't feel bad though- you just can't forsee everything and on another day it might have gone just fine. The nana sounds lovely and I bet she didn't mind helping one bit even if Lottie was missing you. And it sounds like as soon as you got there Lottie was happy again.

Oh I'm not that upset, just a bit, you know....., just wish .....

It's fine.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to tomorrow too.

Just ate a ton of fresh pinapple and have been taking my homeopathic tablets etc, so watch out!

Just don't go into labour tomorrow night!

Hey, have you finished work now?

TC, you are such a lovely mummy and the nana sounds lovely too. Lottie will have lots of situations like this - unfortunately you can't always be there and you did your best for her.

Have a great time tomorrow, chuck

Oh Jan, so, so wish you were coming hon'.

HM - am planning on going into labour asap. Hopefully not in the back or Cori's car though!

Monday marks the begining of week 37 so it's gonna be soon, ish.

And next week is my last week at work. So, so realy to give up now. Worked until lastg second with Lottie, no way want to do that this time. Need to not be there.

Right am going to bed, back on fire, not sure if it's heart burn, or just aching, or both, but need to be in bad.

Thomcat, neither of my 2 have SN and parties can still be a huge source of worry! I work on Saturdays, which is, of course usually the day on which the parties are held and once dh left ds2 alone at a party, he was 3. He couldn't stay as ds1 wasn't invited. Well, he arrived back to find ds2 crying and everyone having to look after him!
If it wasn''t for the Rice Krispie buns, I'd ban kids parties!

Cheers Christmonkey

It is hard when you completely understand your own child but this shows how important it is to try to make sure that someone understands a little of their communication if you are going to leave them. I think Lottie does Makaton, but I can't remember. I always spend a few minutes if I leave DS anywhere to show a few crucial signs. However, I think this is where PECs scores over signing as, with the best will in the world, people often can't remember even a few simple signs or aren't adept at recognising that a child is even making them!
I didn't leave DS anywhere with people who didn't know him well until he was 8 years old!