Warning - a little bit of 'proud parent' follows.
To all those going through the horror of it - just to say, stick with it. Today was my DS last day at primary school. We had a speech day where prizes were awarded and my DS got the 'exceptional progress' prize for the whole of the senior school. To say I am proud is an understatement. He's come such a long way and I have fought and fought and fought during the statementing process.
When he started Reception - none of the teachers even knew he was autistic. None of them had ever taught autistic children before. We were advised to apply for a statement but during that time they felt they couldn't cope with him and he was onyl allowed in school for an hour a day - and during that hour they essentially kept him occupied away from the other children. We were turned down first time to even be assessed for a statement. Obviously I appealed and we went through the process, fighting and manipulating where we could. Eventually it was granted (only after some severe arm twisting of the paediatrician to actually diagnose the autism rather than say 'autistic tendancies)
He essentially missed his first year of school and whilst the following year was much better, we then moved to London and had to deal with a certain London borough who don't have the greatest reputation. They decided to withdraw his funding! We ended up having to appeal and get lawyers involved but eventually it was reinstated (although with the proviso they wouldn't actually supply the SALT or educational psychology that was required)
When he started at his new school he couldn't even sit in assembly for a minute - and even then the teachers had to use an egg timer as a visual aid and then withdraw him. He could barely read and was disruptive and sometimes violent. By the time he left he was learning Latin and getting A and B grades along with the rest of his peers and whilst occasionally he still gets frustrated - the violence has gone and he is a very polite, charming young man.
I know that things don't always work out this way due to a number of different factors, but when I was going through the statement process with his first school, I felt I couldn't cope and thought it would be better if he went to a special school. I could have done with hearing some positive outcomes! Luckily, I stuck with it and he's blossomed into the child I never thought I would have.
Just wanted to share for those people who might be in the positon I was in a few years ago and hope it may help.