Should I just let her lie there every night?

[Al1son]

DD2 is 8 and has AS. She finds it really hard to settle to sleep but doesn't behave badly about it. She's terrified of being alone so lies in bed scared most of every evening until midnight/1.00am. If things get really bad she calls us on the baby monitor but that's only a couple of times each evening.

We go back and reassure her regularly, give her a cuddle and help her to think positive thoughts but I think it must be hell for her every night.

I can hear her one the monitor tossing and turning right now.

I could get Melatonin for her but don't feel comfortable medicating her when I think that if I can get better school provision for her she'll be less anxious and probably sleep better.

She has an iPod with audiobooks on which she listens to sometimes but sometimes hears noises and feels too scared to cover her ears in case she misses something (imaginary) in her room. She wants to watch CBBC iPlayer on her laptop to take her mind off it but I don't allow her to watch things in bed because I think it makes it harder for her to fall asleep. She could watch all night if I let her.

Am I being cruel?

I've had a quiet word with DH and offered him the chance to swap roles. Problem sorted

She found last night very hard because she saw a spider on the landing before getting into bed so stress levels were through the roof. She eventually settled with her iPod. Sadly she'd woken in the night and used it and when I lifted her out of bed this morning she was tangled in it and we managed to break the 30 pin connector on the bottom so that's the end of it I haven't told her yet and am frantically surfing eBay for a replacement.

I'm glad we've had a few nights without her relying on it but still dreading tonight when it's not available.

Despite all this it is generally going well and I'm still ever so grateful for the support. I love MN!

Is it the socket on the iPod itself that's broken or the plug on the charger lead? The charger lead is really easy to replace, not so sure about the socket on the iPod. We've gone through lots of charger leads. Maplins, PC world or Currys/dixons will have them.

Thanks EllenJane, it's the bit on the ipod that you plug the charger onto.

I'm kicking myself for not realising it was wrapped around her as I picked her up.

I've just told her and her words were "I won't be able to go to sleep tonight now". I know she will but it will take all my negotiation skills.

I now have to decide whether to get a used one off ebay or by a new on for loads more money that's a different shape but comes with a guarantee. Think I need to get DH onside with this one.

have you thought of a sound asleep pillow ?

DH says get a new one, eBay or brand new. Unfortunately cheaper than trying to get it repaired. Bloody consumer society we live in. Not sure if guarantee would cover accidental damage? My DS has an iPod touch, it's fantastic but unfortunately very addictive, more for games and Internet access than listening to music.

I'thought of one of those pillows for me because I listen to podcasts when I can't sleep which is most nights. Not sure if it would disturb DH though. It may be a better solution than headphones for DD2 though.

I think your DH is right EllenJane. I'd love to be able to buy her the 32gb iPod touch which would hold all of her tv programmes and audiobooks. I've just applied for DLA for her so if she gets it I could afford it but it can take weeks to come through so I'm not sure we can hold out for it.

Bedtime has gone to pot tonight anyway. I let her come to a little concert in the church because she loves music but she went into sensory overload and headbutted me on the way home. I just don't want to be near her now, at least until my head stops hurting, so DH is doing bedtime as best he can. That will probably be an education for both of them.

Sorry it went wrong tonight. Two steps forward, but only one step back. You'll have forgiven her by tomorrow night, (so long as you don't bruise, blinking ow!) so can start again.