To keep dd home from her SN school if they can't put her into a better class group ?

[ProbablyDoingTheWrongThing]

DD has Autism and associated learning difficulties, until September last year she attended a MS school with an autism unit where she thrived, then she transferred to the SN school...... and things went downhill.

She was put into a class with two boys who have extreme behavioural problems, they are violent, they swear at staff etc amongst other things. Another boy with Ld's who is quite agressive but not so bad as the other two and a girl the same age who also has autism and is non verbal. She can also be violent at times.

Within weeks of her starting her respite carer (who was also her 1-1 at her previous school ) started coming to me with concerns, bits of swearing, aggressive behaviour has started to creep in and the odd temper tantrum, I brought this up with school but tbh wasn't upset, she is now 12 and I put it partly down to puberty plus I can't keep her sheltered forever.

It started to get gradually worse, whenever I talked to her, all I was getting in response was 'the others do it'

Then yesterday, it all erupted over an ice cream and her squaring up to me with a chair shouting 'I will break your fucking arms, do you want me to smash your fucking face in '? etc and so on

Again when she calmed down she said does it

This is NOT my dd, she was never violent before starting in this class, she didn't swear and i'm shocked at this sudden high level violence.

It started again this morning, huge meltdown with her screaming get here you fucking, i'm going to fucking strangle you, I want to fucking kill you, all morning. For an hour.

I ended up blubbing to her class helper who takes her on the school bus and she agreed there had been a change in her, she stayed home today as she was in too much a state to go in and I basically have said I do not want her going back into that class, if that is to be her group in Sept she will not be going in at all.

AIBU ? and over protective to be shocked that my dd has become a violent shadow of her former self in the space of a year ?

Why don't you post this in education or sn.

Oh God I will get it moved. I've been sobbing over my laptop and not thinking straight.

Stupid place to put it.

YANBU, take her out, i had a similar experience with my DS ASD now 18 at his SN school exept it was a TA that was doing the bullying ( muttering under breath that he was stupid ) and head of ASD unit telling him she had a magic eye watching him at home, it changed his personality completly, i am still fuming about it 4 years later, i live in a small town and when TA sees me she runs a mile which is just as well because i wouldnt be responsible for my actions if i got my hands on her.

How awful for you and your Dd. Have you spoken to the head teacher about your concerns? Perhaps make an appointment and take her respite carer along to.

Don't worry - just ask mnhq to move it before any shit stirrers arrive..

Haven't spoken to head yet as it all came to a head over the weekend / today. Have spoken to teacher previously tho.

DD has also made comments about another staff member laughing about her recent holiday and saying New York was better. I haven't brought it up as dd can be sensitive and take things the wrong way iyswim ?

Her respite carers offered to go in and have a word too, she's very narked that she had such a good start and made so much progress and it all seems to be coming undone

Any news?

Hi Probably. It's a bit quiet on this board, SN-children is where all the action is! Is there a parallel class that she could move into? How big is the school? It's always a problem with DC with ASD that they really need good role models but often can't cope in MS school. ideally she needs a peer group of children with better social skills. I'd talk to the head and express your concerns, saying that your DD needs good role models, is very easily influenced, etc. If there really is no better class with a suitable peer group it may be that this special school isn't the right place for her, despite the staff and facilities. Let us know how it goes.