Sorry not to get back to you all sooner. Was trying not to get stuck on computer for hours and the easiest way was not to start...
brandy, it's useful to be reminded that statements can list social communication and emotional needs only. I may have to anonymously quote that if I may... 'well, i 'talked' to someone whose child had...' Without mentioning the internet obviously!
pinkorkid: we did get the paediatrician to refer us to camhs, and we told them all about the difficulties. Their 'triage team' response was a very short letter discharging us from their care as we'd already done all the parent courses so they didn't feel they could add anything more. The paediatrician does always list all the important stuff affecting DS when he writes letters, which is handy. Good thought about beavers: we've deferred transfer to cubs because ds isn't ready, and the last family camp was 'interesting'... so it might be worth a try. I bought a diary but haven't got properly into the habit of writing in it. I need to do that (and thinking out loud, maybe try something like the incredible 5 point scale with ds...)
runnning: the school say no-one gets a statement round here unless they need TA 1:1 for 16h+ minimum. Which isn't really what he does need, so I can understand why they might be reluctant to use their hard-pressed budget to provide it. After a rocky start, the school really have been doing their best to provide for his needs. In terms of resources, a bit limited, but the goodwill, liason and minute-by-minute adaptation to his needs have been great.
If I could write a list now of what he needs each week it would be 'access' to TA for 30h; 1:1 or small group with TA for 5h (possibly 10h, not sure if an hour a day enough); extra lunch supervision (could be shared, 5 hours); 1:1 or small group with SEN teacher for 2.5h, somewhere to go to for a break when he's overwhelmed, plus fortnightly music or play therapy, regular OT, SLT, EP and most importantly asd specialist teacher input. With protected time for the class teacher to differentiate adapt and liase with the various outsiders, and me of course. And all this without losing any of the goodwill and flexibility we currently enjoy.
And if he had all that now, he would probably be doing ok, and continue ok for the next ?2-3y before that provision would fall below his evolving needs. But I'd be very surprised if any school could routinely do all this on SA+.