Am so annoyed and upset................

[anniebear]

Have to just be to a little coffee morning/get together at Graces School, some of the Mums met there after taking the kids in.

I took some Meningitis symptoms cards with me (some of you will know, Graces twin Ellie had a severe case of Meningitis) to give to the Mums.

Most took them. One said she didn't need one as she knew the symptoms off by heart!! Lets hope she doesn't sit with her child who is ill one day with a rash and in her panic forgets.

But another Mum turned round and said " No thank you, I don't even want to think of it, Not many children get it anyway"

I just looked in disbelief and said "well my little girl did" and she said "I know"!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cant believe it. I was very upset and thought I was going to cry, I very nearly walked out.

Ok, I understand some might not want to think about Meningitis, but to say that "not many get it anyway"

I thought she mustn't know about Ellie, but she did!! So why on earth say that to me?

Felt like shouting at her and saying that yes, fortunately many don't get it, but it does happen and happens to ordinary families like ourselves. And that it has been the most tragic, awful thing that has ever happened to me and my Family.

Really am in disbelief. I feel almost like she thinks Ellie just had a touch of flu and we have all recovered, feel belittled

Not sure if that makes sense, just annoyed and upset

Thanks for listening!

If ignorance is bliss then that woman must be very happy indeed. Grrrr!

Poor you Anniebear
No wonder you are upset, how insensitive

Hugs BH xxx

My friend who goes there has just text me to apologise for the 'behaviour of the woman there this morning.

she didn't need to apologise, she hadn't done anything wrong!! But felt so bad for me. She said she thought their behaviour was so ignorant and disgusting and that I must have been so angry

That was nice of her.

Just can't belive the woman would say what she did to me when she DID know about Ellie

As you can tell, I am still annoyed!!

What an awful woman, not surprised you're still annoyed

(((((((((Anniebear)))))))))))))))

Am very sorry to read that you were on the receiving end of such tactless behaviour this morning. Her behaviour was totally uncalled for.

Think this lady in particular who was rude towards you is in total denial.

Anniebear, what a pair of ignorant cows

Handing the cards out was a lovely thing to do and I for one would have been very grateful if as I wouldn't know how to spot meningitis.

Why do some people think that things will never happen to them?

What an insensitive cow! Some people truly amaze me. Thank God for people like you who actively try to make people aware of illnesses like meningitis in the hope that it may prevent another child from contracting it.

Sorry meant to say trying to recognise the signs of the illness quickly not contracting it.

Some people are so insensitive. Even if she didn't want the information herself, surely she could see how important it was to you to share it so she should have taken it anyway so as not to upset you. If she wanted to hang on to her ignorance that desperately she could have binned the card later when you weren't looking and nobody's feelings would have been harmed.

I hope she's lucky, and her children continue to be among the 'not many'.

We keep a leaflet. I can understand how upset you are.

I can understand a bit her saying that she doesnt want to think about it, but to say the rest of it to ME of all people

Yes, thank goodness it doesn't happen to many but for the ones it does it can be life destroying even if your child survives

Thank you for all your comments, feel bit better that you all think she is so ignorant also!!

Lol

I e mailed my DH earlier to tell him about this woman and the first thing he e mailed back was.......

"have you told them on Mumsnet yet"?!!!!

lol he knows me well!!! (and yes I had, before I even told him!)

If you have a spare card, I'd like one please - or is it is something you could post on here, perhaps? I can't believe any mum would say no to something as important as this.

unbelievable! How bloody rude and insensitive! No wonder you were upset

I'm sure all the other mums who took the cards were very appreciative.

Of course I could send you one Pages

or take a look at

www.meningitis-trust.org/disease_info/symptoms.php?category=18&section=2

or you can e mail themn at

[email protected] or call 01453 768000

They will send anyone a symptoms card

annie....how old was ellie when she had it?
i could explode at things like this....noone knows what's round the corner...and thank goodness we don't know... and this is a terrible thing....as she could be the next mum sat grey faced at a hospital bed.
everyday we get up...and we hope every day to go to bed...with the new day ahead....there was a 8yr old lad killed in a school bus crash today...and stories like yours today about that insensitive woman (who knew better- cos she knew your story)...just make me so sad... as she knows as little about what's round the corner as the rest of us....and if her child was ill and her doctor brushed her concerns away and said "it's nothing...give her some calpol"....then the next day her child was in hosp with meingitis...she'd be the first to scream at the doctore "negligence"....

annie...can i ask...are ellies difficulties as a result of the meningitis? as i feel from what you said that is the case...but i want to check sothat i get the right idea.
hope you don't mind me asking....i have seen you on here alot.... but not sure of your situation....hope you don't think me nosey.

What a strange woman. I was talking about this type of thing today with a firend (who had a similar situation in a pub last night). We think its funny that "lack of empathy" is listed as a feature of an autistic spectrum disorder because its a feature that is extremely common in the NT world in our experience.

Put her under the heading of "doesn;t get it" and avoid her. She will continue to make insensitive comments (because she doesn't get it) and upset you, so go into avoidance mode.

How sad that she would choose to be ignorant, and how worrying for her poor children.

I feel sorry for her, not you, you're an intellingent fantastic woman and she's an irresponsible numbskull Don't let a woman like that upset you sweet, she's not worth it, it's sad really that she has such a terrible attitude.

I'd like some of your leaflets please hon', can we sort that do you think?

Arrh TC you have brought tears to my eyes, thank you so much!!

I have started another thread about the symptoms cards

Mrs F......me on here a lot? Never!! you must have the wrong person lol lol

Course I don't mind you asking. I will try to do the short version

Yes, Ellie was a perfectly healthy twin and got Phneumococcal Meningitis when she was nearly 8 months old. (She and Grace, her twin, have just turned 4)

She was critically ill and on a life support, we got told that if she survived she would be severely brain damaged.

She survived but then got a build up of fluid on her brain and had to have holes drilled in to drain it which didn't work so she had to have a shunt put in (has Hydrocephalus)

Then she went on to develop a rare and serious form of Epilepsy and also has brain damage on her right hand side, (her frontal lobe)

She is in fact doing very well considering. She is walking (running!!) stringing together. (she can clearly call me a smelly poo poo bottom

All the Doctors are shocked when they see her!

I know she is a miracle, but as extremely hard work. She doesn't sleep well and has bad tantrums and hurts herself. She is also very behind with her development and contrary to what others say ("oh she will catch up," "oh she will be just like Grace one day"!!), she won't ever catch up

We are emotionally wrecked, (as I'm sure a lot of you are) Still can't believe it has happened to us (Also know many of you fel like that) and as much as I love Ellie, I would give anything to see what she should have been like'

Sorry, didn't mean to go on so much and have a moan, just a bit down today!

Thank you all so much for your replies xxxx

Sorry, didn't realise I ahd waffled that much

Are you all still awake?!!

You're not waffling at all anniebear, and thanks I will look at the website and your other thread. It is very sad what happened to Ellie, and Grace must be a daily reminder of what could have been for her, but she sounds pretty amazing to me and I long for the day my DS (age 3 and no speech)calls me a smelly poo poo bum. Big hugs xx

PS I think the lack of empathy thing is interesting - I think it is a lot to do with denial of one's own fears and vulnerabilities... but, what the hell, she made your day crap, anniebear, so we hate the insensitive old cow!!!