Chaos, you, and others are right. I am going to check out the other schools. They may be supposedly 'bad', but they may be very 'good' for my child. I should not have been so dismissive.
Thesis, thank you. I will set a deadline.
Trying, you are so right, Star put it so well. She is so right and I had no quite clicked on to the reality of the situtaion, re the way they like to run it, be in control. But I sure have now.
We have not seen an OT. We have not seen anyone in school yet. I mean no one has come to see ds, other than the short Camhs assessment. Presumably because school do not think there is a problem, so have not called anyone in.
Oh yes they have called someone in. The SLW. for the paed, a year ago, they reported and told him there was nothing wrong. apparently this is the connors test ? Theirs was polar opposite of mine. so they called in SLW. presumably, what they are actually saying here, is mother has problems, we see none, so it can't be autism, it must be bad paretning. lets call in SLW. correct ? or is that just me being cynical 
?
Actually I want to get rid of the SLW. She is a) useless. and too chummy with school/senco particularly. She said at the meeting, that I basically denied her help, as if implying that my parenting was perfect. not quite the case. then she suggests 1-2-3. which I already know about. already use, a little. but is not recommneded for oppositional types AS. And even phelan says it is useful, but once you see thast a child is sn, assessemnt needs to go beyond 1-2-3. As if to suggest that 1-2-3 filters out the crap parenting from the autism. Carp parenting is their take on me, rather than autism.
I don't know if you all think I am deluded. But I am really hoping thta EP assessment and the Outreach assessment, will 'save me'. not quite save me, but do something. In that 'if' they do their job properly, they will point out things school haven't seen. And insist of some sort of practical steps. Outreach and EP and surely not going to agree with school that there are no issues what-so-ever, when they have a diagnosis from camhs, in their hands, which lists the 'contradiction' from school, and still the camhs dr, decided to give diagnosis. Why would an EP/Outreach, agree with school, over camhs ? If they are one ounce professional, they wouldn't , surely. Or is this too my naievity ?
Am I supposed to request OT ? Even though We are waiting for EP assessment ?
I wrote them a 10 page letter. 8 pages of diary of all the things they had done wrong. and some corking comments by Deputy Head and Senco. I am going to update that diary. And keep it up to date. since then senco refused camhs access. must note that. Head said in last meeting that his prediction skills and lack of comprehension, ( not classic AS traits then ??!!) were "immaturity".
I will just keep plugging. Apply for statement. Get the EP done, so hopefully that will back me up. And meanwhile , I will look at other schools.
Ds has just ocme to tell me that a) he has no one to play with last week, becasue one of his friends is on holiday.
And 2) he took money to school, to get some mooshi monster bands. I did not know this. he is in trouble with teacher for this. and the 5 bands that he did have, he lost. he failed to tell me this until later. I can't get any info out of him. He never tells me anything. He never told me he was on a reward chart for 6 weeks, that he was bullied. That he had stolen match attax cards. or that he had stolen mooshi monster cards. both from children in his class. He never tells me anyhting.
God, I despair, sometimes.