I have a 16 month old son who seems to be developing on track, and is doing reasonably well with his language and physical development. I know it's pointless to be worrying about something that may never happen, but I am constantly aware of the possibility of regressive autism.
DH's father, uncle and grandfather all show many autistic-like traits (although never sought or received a diagnosis), and DH's grandfather mentioned that his uncle 'changed' when he was a toddler, losing words and becoming less social. I have to say I don't think DH's uncle received much support from his father, because from a young age his father labelled him the 'black sheep' of his children. He has had problems with social interaction his whole life, and tends to get angry and agressive very easily. DH's father and grandfather less so, but both experience some difficulty in certain social situations.
I should mention I am still struggling with belated PND, which I am being treated for. I know that this may add to my anxiety where my son is concerned.
DS is very cuddly. He runs to me for hugs, reaches out to grab my face and pulls it towards him to kiss me. It's lovely. His eye contact is great and he often glances into my eyes to ascertain my reaction to something and giggles if I look surprised. He interacts with his father, godmother and nan in the same way. He is a bit shy around strangers, but does warm up to them and sometimes happily smiles at strangers interacting with him in the street.
I am really scared that he is going to 'change' and am struggling fighting the feeling that one day he won't be doing all this. I worry about his future should he develop autism - I doubt my own ability to be a good enough parent to ensure he reaches his full potential. What I suppose I want to know is how I can prepare myself for any change and not view it in such negative light.
I KNOW it is ridiculous to be thinking along these lines (and writing it down, I realise it even more so), so feel free to be as harsh as you like in your responses - I probably need it. I very much apologise if I come across as ignorant in my post. I know, reading back on it, I must come across as selfish, as if my son is there to fulfil my own emotional needs and I know this is very wrong. I will appreciate any advice or comments.