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Original poster

Finally relaxed about dd and her "label/dx"

20 replies

Blossomhill · 15/11/2005 17:27

I do not know what is wrong with me but I am finally happy with the fact that dd doesn't quite fit a dx.

All of a sudden I realised that no matter what dd's difficulties will be the same whether she has a dx or not. The help she gets and we as a family get won't change, nothing will. Obviously she does have the Language disorder dx and I do feel it fits.

We are so lucky that dd gets all of the help at school and the unit placement.

So finally I am actually relaxing and enjoying my little girl for the person she is rather than analyising everything she does.

It's such a nice feeling and tbh I am generally more relaxed about dd. Hence why I haven't been posting so much lately. Of course dd still has her difficulties and they are ongoing but on the whole I feel more accepting and relaxed about the whole thing, which is good

OP posts:
Enid · 15/11/2005 17:32

I have no idea what you are talking about blossomhill but its a really nice post anyway

ThomCat · 15/11/2005 17:55

oh BH, so pleased hon', that's great.
TC xx

rummum · 15/11/2005 19:17

I know exactly what you mean about analyising everything they do... Unfortunately daughters school won't/can't help without a formal diagnosis..

Glad things are on the up for you...

monica2 · 15/11/2005 19:53

Glad you have got your head round things blossom x

piffle · 15/11/2005 19:58

Awww Bloss
Tbh the diagnosis changes little at least in our case it was so, she is still the same girl, you know your own child well enough to understand their difficulties and are the best person to help sort them.
Carry on being relaxed its so good for the soul...

Davros · 15/11/2005 20:00

Hah, I knew this was you when I saw the title! I'm pleased to hear that you've gone through that phase, which is what I think it was. DO you think your new activities, the parent support stuff and Beevers, has helped?

Original poster
Blossomhill · 15/11/2005 20:07

Thanks for all of your comments.

Davros - I guess that I definitely went through a "phase" and haven't ruled out a possible dx as she gets older but I way I am thinking is that what does it really matter? I know her difficulties, we get help and should know outcome of Direct Payments assess. this week, school is great and generally we are lucky that she has everything in place.

It has taken me ages to come round to that way of thinking (as you know) but I have and it feels as though a weight has been lifted.

I find it so much easier when we go out too. Although have to say MIL was very when dd walked up to a little girl that she was playing quite nicely with in the park and said "have you got special needs (her favourite subject at the moment!)?", then asks me later on what does sn mean?
Apparently she also did it when the language base children were doing social skills. "We all have special needs" declares dd". The LSA tried to brush it under the carpet as I guess not all of the children knew! Sorry gone off tangent .....

OP posts:
Davros · 15/11/2005 20:13

BH, she is a character isn't she? Mind you, when people say that about DS AND DD I'm never sure if its a good thing or not! Everyone else says it is..... Even though one has ASD and the other doesn't, they still get described as "characters"!

Original poster
Blossomhill · 15/11/2005 20:17

Davros - coming from you I am hoping it's a good thing

I think the word "madam" describes her more accurately though

OP posts:
Davros · 15/11/2005 20:19

It IS a good thing from me! I'm just never sure if other people mean it nicely although they do seem to.

Lillypond · 15/11/2005 23:46

Blossom - glad things are looking up for you. FWIW I have to remind myself that DS's DX isn't the reason for his problems and that his label doesn't actually define him anyway. I suppose it works both ways. DX or no DX, what difference does it make?

I've missed chatting to you on MSN. We've got a new computer and I think the firewall is blocking me from downloading Messenger. Every time I try I get disconnected half way through.

BTW, fingers crossed that you get DP

Original poster
Blossomhill · 16/11/2005 08:20

Lillypond - I agree The thing is poor dd has seen so many people and I ended up getting into such a state because she doesn't fit any real dx (yet, anyway) and it was getting me into such an anxious state.
We had her IEP meeting a couple of weeks ago and her LSA said that dd was a complex little thing as she doesn't fit into anything really. Although obviously she does have a langauge disorder, which is enough I think!!!!! I mean it is a significant communication disorder in it's own right. It's just that it usually does exist with something else.

I have missed chatting to you too. Hope you manage to get something sorted and you are all okay xxx

OP posts:
Merlot · 16/11/2005 21:57

Hi BH Glad to hear that you feel as if you have found some peace of mind with regards DD. Co-incidently, I too feel as if I am in a better place' with ds2. I think it is due to the fact that he has started nursery and that I have a little bit of me' time. I have been following Lighterlife and lost 2 stones now, so feel better about myself generally. I am beginning to see that if I view the glass half full, rather than half empty I am really able to enjoy ds Long may this peace reign for us both

sphil · 16/11/2005 22:10

We've been told that DS2 is a 'mystery', 'presents a confusing picture' and once even 'a conundrum'! I'm beginning to realise that whether he gets a dx or not, he'll still be the same little boy with the same strengths and weaknesses. But it's taken me a while to get here.

KarenThirl · 17/11/2005 06:43

Good for you BH! Glad you're able to see the bigger picture and are enjoying your dd at last.

Original poster
Blossomhill · 17/11/2005 07:30

Merlot - So glad to hear you are feeling better too! How is ds2 getting on at nursery? I found it a god send when dd went to nursery as tbh I did find her really hard work and that little break (as you say) did me and her the world of good!
Now tell me more..... Lighterlife and a 2 stone weight loss Well done! I need to lose about a stone so would be really interested in this. Thanks

Sphil - I guess if you do have children like ours that are little "mysteries" it is better to just go with it. For so long I was trying to push dd into a dx and at this moment in time nothing fits. I feel that things will be more apparnt in 2 or 3 yrs and that's what keeps me sane!

Thanks Karen

OP posts:
Merlot · 17/11/2005 14:27

Bh - ds2 is loving nursery - he started to do a strange crawl type action with his arms the other day and we thought what's that about?' It wasnt until wind the bobbin up' came on, on the nursery rhyme tape that all was made clear. They had been doing it at nursery!! Just one of the benefits of him being more stimulated in a nursery environment. Its great

The lighterlife programme has been a really big boost for me and I would highly recommend it - but you need to have a BMI of 29+ If you only have a stone to lose it wouldnt be for you. I want to lose 3 stone, so am on the finishing strait (or so I hope, as LL is all about meal replacement - the big challenge is when I eat food again!)

Nice to touch base with you BH - are you enjoying the counselling you are doing?

Merlot x

Socci · 17/11/2005 14:53

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heartinthecountry · 17/11/2005 15:04

I'm glad this was your thread BH .

maddiemosthorrid · 18/11/2005 01:08

Glad you are feeling at one with it all Bh

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