I admit....I'm sooo jealous

[anniebear]

Feel very bad, my Friend who is a really lovely person has just had a over due couple of nights away with her DH and 2 young children

She text to say what a fantastic time they had and are going back in a few months

I am so pleased for her but I cried when I read her text

They went to an area that me and my DH went to in pre children days and I know we wont be going back with our 2!!

It just seems so unfair. The thought of DH and My two young girls going away to a hotel for a couple of nights all sharing a family room is just a dream.

In reality as a lot of you understand it would be a nightmare

I would love to be able to do it, just a 'normal' family doing a 'normal' thing

I feel so bad that I feel so jealous and can't believe I cried

Suppose things have been getting to me lately.

Most of you know I have twins. One is coming home from School and has been learning her letters and has a reading book, the other (SN)is just about learning her colours (just turned 4)

I seem to be followed around the house and I can't move, I feel like I have a 4 year old and a toddler and I really want two 4year olds who yes, would fight and argue (they do that anyway!!) but would both go and play upstairs with Barbie's and fashion Polly's!

I want to be able to go out at the weekend and do 'normal' family things without everything being upsetting

Sorry to go on, I know you lot will understand better than others who say " oh wait till they are older, it will get easier"

Or the other day when I was saying about how bad Ellie is at night "oh just wait till they are older, you wont be able to get them out of bed in the mornings"

Er no, don't think that will ever happen

Sorry for waffling, I know you all have similar (and some worse) problems, I just was upset and needed to tell some one!!

Thanks for listening and hopefully you didn't fall asleep!!

I understand Anniebear - along (I expect) with every other mother who has a child with special needs.

I have a neighbour who was waxing lyrical about going on a family holiday to Egypt where they went down the nile saw the pyramids, all completely tailored for kids. She has two 7 year old twins. She said I thoroughly recommend it' and I must have turned the same shade as the incredible hulk! She even told me in front of my 8 year old, who said ooh, can we do that!' Well, he wasnt the only one was disappointed with my answer! At times like that, I often long for the days before ds2 was born

Hope you feel better for venting. Being part of a family with a SN child is, at times (just like this) very hard.

Sending you a hug

Merlot x

Anniebear Never apologise for having a moan or a rant on here.

It's horrible when things like this sneak up on you. I don't blame you for feeling . It's all the little things like holidays, outings etc that we all take for granted that we'll be able to do one day IYSWIM.

anniebear know how you feel

sometimes having a child with SN can be very isolating but rewarding at the same time

by sheer co-incidence dh and I decided today that we are going on a weekend away in the new year (we have had terrible health problems ourselves this year) as we need a break together even though it might be just down the road in some hotel
I admit that I am being selfish here but need to recharge batteries iykwim.
I know that families on both sides are too scared to look after ds but they will have dd2's help.
any chance you could do the same
or even just a good night out can do the world of good
hugs
xxx

Sometimes our fears are worse than the reality. Iv just returned from taking my ds ASD (just 5) to a short stay Euro Disney holiday on my own. I booked it when i felt brave but was really dreading it when it arrived, thought about cancelling it too. He has terrible tantrums, is v noisy and unpredictable. I picked a company that takes you right to the door so i didn't have to worry about getting there and chose to go out of season too. In the run up to this i did militry type training in the summer lots of coach/car trips, practicing keeping him entertained and then tested some queueing techniques. I brought less luggage for ease of handling, my hand strap, lots of things to eat and do and he had chips everyday but he did enjoy it even if i was exhausted from the stress. And in turn i did too watching him. We did only make it round one land and didn't go near Disney Village but it was worth all the trouble and we have both learnt from it. I let him go on anything he was prepared to wait for and there were only minor tantrums which suprised me totally.

Anniebear, I'm jealous of everything that families not affected by SN manage to do.

DP is a big football fan and I was so upset yesterday seeing all the fathers and sons in their England kits going off to watch the match in the pub.

{{{hugs}}}

rant away. i do. i want a normal life and atm its so far out of reach its just a dream.

Thanks

Its my Anniversary today and we are having a night away on Friday. Can't wait!!

It's the 'normal' family things together I long to do

Happy anniversary!

I know exactly what you mean. I've got the Southdowns literally on my doorstep and I would love to be able to go for a long family walk like I used to with my mum and dad and sister. We do try but never get very far with ds who sits down every 5 mins or lies in the mud. It all takes ages and is incredibly frustrating.

Most families wouldn't have to think twice about popping out on a sunny sunday afternoon.

I hope you enjoy your break anyway!

Message withdrawn

oh anniebear it's a horrible way to feel but I feel like it a lot. It is a normal way. In our house we've started to deal with it a bit by turning it into a little joke. For example dh will be watching tv and shout "quick quick, come and see the perfect neurotypical family" when there's something revoltingly normal on.

The "it'll get easier when they get older" comment just makes a red mist come down tbh. We had a row with dh's parents recently following a variation on that comment.

My youngest child (has 2 elder siblings) has special needs - Sotos Syndrome - and I do feel we are a "normal" family who do normal things. Just because my child looks/acts differently does not mean that we will not do what "normal" families do. We have days out, go on holiday, go to the zoo, Chessington, etc. Yes, sometimes I do get a "funny" look from a stranger when they see my over-sized 4 year old having a tantrum like a 2 year old but that is their problem, not mine. They do not know me or my family and if they did they would be a bit more accepting of me and my children's situation.

But Baka, there is an element of truth in that. Your SN child may not get easier but his siblings will and that will lighten the load on you. I know that if my dd was the youngest instead of the eldest my life would be so much more difficult. As it is she can be relied on to dress herself for school while I am wrestling with ds, stuff like that. Last night we went to her parents' evening (she's a total star by the way ) and she was able to entertain him in his buggy for 5 mins so we could talk to the teacher in peace.

It all helps but it still doesn't make up for not being able to go for a pizza as a family or to see an exciting film at the cinema .