School is causing physical pain wtf do I do now?

[bochead]

I've spent the morning observing DS in school environment for the first time- frankly I'm not suprised the last school kicked him out if he was like that on a regular basis OR that this school are having trouble managing him for 3 hours a day. He's NOTHING like his peers in the same setting and about 20x worse than he ever is at home - I thought I'd stepped into the twilight zone. Apparently he's this bad every day.

Awareness of others - none at all, AND spent every spare second trying to do a wander round the school/leg it out of the classroom. At one point he was rolling on the floor saying his ears hurt even with the ear defenders on.

Cahms have deffo been fobbing me off for 3 years - this isn't someting a bit of "family therapy" can resolve and certainly is nothing like the behavior I observed when he was at the short stay unit earlier this year (only had 4 pupils!) . Honestly I found myself understanding all the changeling and alien abduction stories I've ever heard this morning. It was hard to believe it was MY child I was witnessing, even though I've always known a lot of his school issues were environmental.

There was no way even the most optimistic pollyanna could describe his behavior as anything approaching normal in relation to his peers even blindfold and drunk as a skunk lol! (That in itself hurts more than I can say). Yet I can't even tell you the number of times I've been made to feel like a demanding over fussy hen when talking to health professionals. They wouldn't have been able to attempt an ados test had they tried to do it in a school I can tell you.

I'm veering between despondant and furious. This is his 3rd fooking school - the health professionals know this yet after nearly 3 years haven't been arsed to diagnose him (if he isn't asd then WHAT is wrong?) EVERY school has had issues, (I think it is getting worse as gets older) , he's had one break down, threatened self harm. No educator could do anything with the child I saw this morning, yet he has a good brain (at home and the unit's observations).

He can't keep bouncing from school to school failing - (apart from anything else we are running out of schools locally to try this is number 3). He needs to be somewhere quiet and TINY - anyone know anywhere in S. London/Kent? (Tribunal in progress).

Also what the hell do I do now? I wanna sob my heart out but DS is here iykwim.

oh bochead take a deep breath i totally know where your comming from sounds just like DS take heart this totally shows you i think what he needs he needs a DX he needs a different setting , environment for school he needs exactly that a special school where they have as in my ds SS 4 adults to 6/8 students where its more calming and he gets a much more individual approach to learning even 1-1 if hes like this in this particular environments not going to work in small classes he will be able to cope with all the outside influences better, the distractiona are less the visual learning would help , my DS was failed by all the schools he went to and given the right help the right environment he will thrive believe me so your going to trib good , when is it? my DS went to a much smaller school that still wasnt enough he just still wasnt accessing the curriculum good luck finding somewhere for him have you tried this?

oops sorry this
www.schoolsnet.com/uk-schools/schoolHome.jsp

Just in case anyone ever recognises me IRL - his current school has an excellent SEN awareness and are doing all they can BUT they can't magic away an entire building and school load of kids for him can they? He shouldn't be there full stop. Wishing will never make it so.

I'm so upset with myself that I let the lea sen officer talk me into it earlier this year when we doing his statement - mind you we were BOTH going on the info provided in the professional reports.

He can't cope and forcing him isn't going do anything but damage his mental & possibly physical health. Have the lea ep and salt etc been sitting there with their eyes shut or snoozing during classroom obs? I won't even comment on the Cahms support worker that advised his last school without bothering to meet him.

Tribunal application has only just gone in - thank goodness it contains an application for indy salt and EP.

In a few days I'll OK again - keep calm and carry on and all that but right now I am at a loss to know what to do with myself.

Oh Bochead.

You sound at the end of your tether :( I know that there are lots of little schools in Kent so I went to the league tables here and sorted by number of eligible pupils. That "should" hopefully give the smallest schools....... some of them will be too far though as guessing that Kent for you would be Dartford/Gravesend at a max.

I can't believe that you still don't have a DX. Has noone in authority actually observed your DS at school

Rosherville Church of England Primary School in Gravesend has 134 children

Darenth Community Primary School in Dartford has 105 children

Nearest/ smallest to the SE London/Kent border as far as I can see

Ed Pysch (he's now at the school her own daughter attends so won't be able to hide forever hee hee!)

2x SALt both of whom observed sensory issues and asd BUT the diagnositic salt (didn't observe at school but is salt no 3) has now got him on HER school list (and this Mum has no intentions of letting her hide for long!).

BOTH his previous schools raised the alarm - the first were fantastic sen wise organised caf etc but it all fell down when it landed on a Cahms numpty's desk at the pct. He was still four then. He'll be 7 in a couple of months.

I am at the end of my tether - it's taken 3 years though of wading through treacle at every turn. I don't think I could have been any more proactive about trying to bring his issues to the professionals attention either, (am deffo marked down as a problem parent in some quarters up to and including SS).

I can only begin to imagine how hard this must have been for you. Just wondering if there is any way you can video some of this to show Tribunal/other professionals? I know it would be a bit tricky to do because of rules around this, but if necessary could someone who knows how to edit film blur out the faces of any other children which showed?

Another thought - Can you make a written record of what happened today (hard as I know that will be) and get the teacher to sign agreement that it is an accurate record, then invite, in writing, all the professionals who have been fobbing you off to come in and observe (WITH YOU), and do the same? If they refuse you can show that refusal to tribunal.

Sending you a , it is after 6, so 'distancing time' as my Dad called it.

Sorry, cross-posted - sounds like you have done so much I can't believe they can just ignore it.

I wrote down my observations in the home school book and will type it up and send a copy to the school, and solicitor. Dunno if I'll get a signature - fully expecting them to close ranks and play the "blame the single Mum" game again on receipt of the tribunal appeal notification.

I'm also going to photocopy the home school book where the ta has been logging (badly but proves it's not just me hallucinating!) some of this 1/2 terms incidents & send them to the solicitor. I suspect that once the lea get the tribunal application these entries in the home school book will be "lost" somehow and he'll be stopped from doing it any more.