4yo DS spends 2hours+ growling and making really distressed noises over seemingly nothing

[yukoncher]

We had to take him with us to the vets after nursery, where he layed on the floor all the while, (a good half hour) going crazy if we tried to pick him up. Luckily DP was there to stay with DS while I took our pup into see the vet. In the car he was doing deep strained noises, like what people in deep distress, perhaps holding up a 10 ton bus would sound like. He wanders around seemingly looking for things to be distressed about, like 'pllleeeassee move up mummy' even though there's already space for him to sit with me. I move up anyway just to calm him. He's playing with toys now but still often just growling and going uhhhhhggggg arghghhhh if he can't do something.
Or if he doesn't like me having my feet up on the sofa, he'll spend a while moaning and screeching about that.
The noises are SO DAMN stressfull, lol
I talk in a sing song voice with him and ask him what's wrong, what does he want, etc. But him sounding so distressed (over not much at all) so often makes me feel like having a heart attack!
He screetches and roars alot too.
Sometimes I wander if he would be more relaxed and happier if he had some Vallium or something!
Even the way he breathes sounds like life is so stressful for him.

I'm sure me and my partner do everything for him. I find myself jumping straight up whenever he asks for a drink, because he just growls and screams and all sorts otherwise.
I think we meet all his needs, sure we do.
But he has such anger and stress, in a few hour long episodes usually.
He'll repeat the same phrase over and over many times and if I don't fill in the blanks in his sentence he'll get distressed.

We're hoping for some diagnosis after a few appointments with the consultant, because he also has speach delay, perhaos his speach is at aged 2 when he is now 4.

Does anyone know if his behaviour I describe above is a symptom? or can anything be done?

I'm not sure what his SN might be, but it sounds like he's doing a good job of controlling the whole house. If at all possible could you ignore the noises and distract him with something else. Can you find any small good thing about his behaviour that you could reward instantly, even if with chocolate or something, to break this cycle? If you can get him more interested in behaving well, even for a short time, and reward it and praise it up, maybe he'll see the benefits?

Both of my girls make these noises (both are on the autistic spectrum), dd1 is 7 and will grown if she doesn't get her own way and makes really load noises if she's trying to move something or if something is stuck. Dd2 (5) makes lots of noises, she will humm, grown, breathe loudly and fast and spends hours moaning like she's in pain (often when she wants something she can't have or when she doesn't want to wait. Both girls are worse at home (more noises), dd2 gets worse if there's back ground noise or bright lights or if she's very excited.

Thanks Ellen, those suggestions sound really good, I'll try some.

Nice to be emphasised with, Marne. I strongly suspect my boy is autistic, too. Sounds similar.