TA problems- again - am I overreacting?

[fiduciarydealings]

DS had an OT appointment this morning. I took him back to school and find the class has gone on a trip!

We had never been told and apparently there had been an original and a chase up letter.

And he has a TA with whom I spent an hour and a half at a S&LT session on Friday. I can't believe no one thought to make sure we knew there was a trip.

DS has a statement for AS and has very poor memory. The TA was employed to support him about two months ago but she has proved to be entirely lacking in initiative yet weirdly full of herself and has sucked up alot of time and energy in training and support.

Am I overreacting to think this is completely crap? What is the point in a child with significant needs, including memory problems and noted difficulties transferring info from home to school, having a TA if she can't make sure he is included on a trip.

I could have changed his appointment if I'd known. I ended up taking him to join his class myself.

does he have a home/school book? yes that is crap communication.

At my own instigation, because TA does not start until 9 and doesn't like to be flagged down on her way to class, and finishes before pick up, I got a book and put it in DS' book bag and have told her about it three times, including on Friday.

All staff at school are on email too and she has my address and I've encouraged her to send me info I should know that way too.

I know these things happen but it is just par for the course. She seems to be more interested in herself than him and has everyone running round supporting her and saying 'poor X, it's a baptism of fire' etc.

Poor DS I say!

supporting her? FFS

flippin heck poor ds being left out so unfair the homebook should be filled out daily by them unless everythings perfectly fine its standard practice supposedly i dont think your over reacting , this is suposed to be about your dc not her ffs (((hugs)))

I know seriously....it's like the statement is for her!

School know the problem though but they recruited her and are trying to make it work. I just wish she'd bugger off to be frank and we can get someone else who might give a toss.

Didn't they notice that his name wasn't on the list anyway?

Obviously not. I only told them this morning about his OT as I dropped DS2 off as I'd forgot to mention this.

No one mentioned anything then either

how crap! so if he'd not been to the OT he'd have turned up at school to find everybody else kitted up for a trip?

Yes and it was to do a cookery lesson so why bother prepare him for that? It's not as if there are any sensory issues - I jest obviously!

I've just brought DS home for lunch. TA nowhere to be found. But he says she had a right go at him for not remembering (obv he does confuse being told off easily but more reason not to say anything really).

I've told him it's absolutely not his fault and that he must tell me if she says anything similar.

I can't stand the woman! Last week DS and I saw her at an evening concert in Sunday evening with her son and boyfriend. They tried to ignore us. Then she was off until Thursday desperately ill just as she was supposed to be starting his S&LT programme - 18 weeks after his statement was actually issued. I just don't believe anything she saiy

I hope im not being presumptious but do you think she did it on purpose? being as she seems to be me me me and thought it was easier for her to not mention /write it in book or remind you on friday seen as shes so bothered about making her own life easier sorry angry on yours and your ds's behalf, dont like to think that but she sounds horrid

omg ignored you while out thats terrible what a bad example to be setting for a start, if she doesnt like you /or her job or is finding it difficult to implament the statement, the school will have to either get her to take a ta role somewhere else in the school or bugger off it would be nice then if they could get a higher LSA with sen experience as she doesnt sound like she has any.chat to one of the mediation services to talk to the senco for you as there not taking this seriously are they ,i hope you get someone better soon

Oh God, poor you. You (and your son) need a helpful and supporting person, not this. Can you speak to the Senco? It's really NOT good enough.

Thanks for the support. I have had that difficult conversation with the head and the SENCO. The SENCO in particular admitted that she knew precisely what I was talking about but thought it was their responsibility to try and support and guide the TA through this, which, I suppose is true.

We have waited weeks for the TA to feel confident enough to do any work in groups with DS and she is doing this now only after massive intervention to support her and the whole management team scripting the social skills classes for her.

I saw her at lunchtime when I dropped off DS and she didn't even acknowledge the problem. A note has appeared in the book tonight about nothing in particular. I'm only asking that they let me know about really important stuff!

I suppose you can't just get rid of someone when you hired them knowing they were not qualified as a TA but because they seemed to have other relevant experience - degree, work with young people, son on the spectrum. But I actually doubt much of what she says about her son or her previous work as she shows little understanding of these issues and demonstrates no initiative.

We are appealing the statement so I am going to try and get this tightened up in terms of TA etc and just see how things go but I have made my views clear to the head.

I really wish she'd just go. Why would you want such a poorly paid job if you weren't going to make any effort?

I put up a similar post recently under a namechange. My son had 2 TA's from starting at school and had recently been under the (not so watchful) eye of someone new who clearly had nothing like the experience.

His home/school book had little or nothing in it and I felt I needed to know what was happening. We'd been having CAMHS crisis meetings and he'd needed to come off medication. He'd been biting himself and there was no handover acknowledgement of this; he'd been curled up in a ball at playtime in tears, again no information on this. I spoke with the SEnco who said that due to staff changes, it was a not satisfactory but necessary TEMPORARY change.

I have to say, I was hugely relieved to see him with one of his "old" TA's today. I felt that to change my son's TA at such a time (recent OCD/Tourette's dx additional to ASD) was all wrong.

Oh dear, fiduciary, it's going from bad to worse. If you are appealing the statement I'd make it a priority to insist on a 'suitably qualified' TA, NVQ 2 at the very least, and with relevant experience as a TA, and maybe explain that without these qualities your DS isn't getting appropriate support. My DS's statement says 'qualified' but that's a bit woolly TBH. I'm feeling slightly guilty as a 1:1 TA with a degree and a DS with ASD myself!! But I do have my NVQ 2. (it's a noddy qualification TBH, but if she hasn't got it, it's a way to get rid.)

Like the name change, but what's fiduciary mean? My iPod knows but I don't!

wendihouse - that is dreadful. What is the point in getting support for our children if they can't get the basics sorted.

EllenJ - you are right I will defintely concentrate on tightening up the qualification aspect of it as we have had months of this now.

of course you're not overreacting, as it's not an isolated incident, but yet another example of her not being up to the job, from what you describe.

Thanks...I feel so frustrated by it all. I just wish she'd leave, dreadful, lying woman. How dare she blame my son when she is supposed to be helping him?

You're right, it's not isolated. A couple of weeks ago he was upset because he was trying out some 'chewy tubes' in class (I'd told teacher about them and TA) and another TA shouted at him to get it out of his mouth.

I had to raise it with SENCO because he wasn't able to explain what they were or why he had them.

Last week, his TA tells me she had been there when this happened and 'didn't know whether to get involved'. Seriously what the f**k are they paying this woman to do????

fiduciarydealings....quite. Unfortuantely, the TA's are not specifically assigned to any particular child. They can change them whenever they need to. But, up to this point, they hadn't. It's an excellent school but, in view of my ds only being able to complete a 3 hour school day and having some days off completely, I felt it wrong to NOT give him the person (s) he knew. Like many ASD kids, change is NOT something he likes!!

It just seems like a common sense expectation doesn't it wendihouse? Let these children work with people they are comfortable with, who understand them and who can support them and help them challenge themselves and their own boundaries. See the world through their eyes and the battle is half won.

I t is hideous that having gone through all the hassle of finding a decent school and then getting a Statement ...... you get a shite TA who makes it all worthless.

We endured 18 months with a TA who had all the qualifications and looked great on paper, but in practice was a lazy bitch who did the minimum required, took at least one day off in every ten, and just didn't bother telling me much at all.

So many minor things happened and I was torn between standing up for dd and not being a pest. After one major incident I just snapped and wrote a formal letter of complaint listing as many breaches of the statement and individual incidents as I could remember - it was a VERY long letter. I put the emphasis on instances where her actions meant that the Statement was not being fulfilled - i think that is what had the most impact.

It took about 10 weeks after that before she was kicked out decided to move on.

You need to start logging each and every incident, however trivial, and make the school address the problem.

Good idea to log each incident, give you some more ammunition.

Thanks. I will make a note in my diary. What a life eh?

Not seen TA today at all but interestingly DS said out of the blue tonight 'I give Mrs X a 5 out of 10'. Wouldn't go any further so don't know what that was about!

She's been moaning at every external agency visit about DS' floppiness (he has Hypermobility) and what she's going to do about it etc. We're off to see specialist in London tomorrow who says forward any questions - all gone quiet from TA. She makes alot of noise in front of people and then does naff all.