waiting on a full assessment still

[saladsandwich]

my ds, 2yr 5months has been reffered in april for a full assessment, still not had an appointment letter through yet, i was just wondering what happens at these appointments, are they all the same for every kid? ds nursery have put him on a little special education plan so thats good, SALT have been out and they have helped,, and he has a CAF meeting in june organised by the health visitor who has helped us out more than i ever could have asked for but the CAF seems pretty pointless if he's not been seen by the peads? not sure how they work either tbh.

i just feel lost at the moment, i'm starting to question whether ds is how he is because of me or if i'm seeing things that aren't there, im not sure if these are common feelings, i get alot of people commenting on him and i start becoming confused by it all, a part of me just wants someone to say, yes theres a problem because i honestly feel like i'm going mad xx

I'm sure you're not going mad. If your HV is being so supportive, I'm sure she's sharing your concerns. I don't know how long the waiting list is for seeing your paediatrician in your area. 6 weeks to 6 months is common, even longer isn't impossible.

What are your concerns? Do you have any suspicions? Even without a DX there will be ways in which you can help with your DS's difficulties. I wouldn't delay the CAF. Do you have portage (experts who come to your house and advise you on how best to aid your DC's development through play) in your area? Ask your HV. Late now so I'm off to bed. I'll check in tomorrow.

hi, thankyou for your reply, i haven't really got any suspicions as such but i will try think of the things that worry me the most, he seems to forget alot of things, he has speech delay and its coming along now but he has now halted again, he can't learn a new word without forgetting one.

his behaviour at the moment is quite hard to handle, i took him to town today and it was just impossible, i cannot go in a single shop without him crying and screaming and throwing tantrums even before i get in one, its almost like he's scared of them.

my hv was worried i think more about his energy levels even though he never sleeps, something seems to be bothering him at night time and he is constantly waking up i will definitely ask her about portage it sounds like a good thing.

Perhaps he has some sensory issues. He might find shops too noisy, bright, smelly or just plain confusing. It's so frustrating for you both when you can't communicate. I used pictures or photos of things to give my DS some choices of things like toys, foods or games to give him a sense of having a bit of control over his life. If we went visiting I'd have a photo of the place or person we were visiting. Eg Nana, Tesco, nursery, park. Best to have a photo of the actual place, children at that age would find a generic park too hard to recognise. I'd show him the photo and give him the words. 'We are going to the park now.'

There is a great SALT book called 'It Takes Two to Talk' by Hanen, cheapest from Winslow. Link here Expensive but very good, my SALT recommended it. Keep posting, lots of good advice on here.

thanks for the link i'll have a look in a minute, SALT have given him the usbourne first word books and i work with him on them and he is doing "match and stretch" we also borrow story bags from the local sure start which are specifically for speech but he's now stalled again with speech, its so hard to decide what fits into normal toddler behaviour and what is not so normal and i have worked with pre school kids so i feel i should know. i have tried a few makaton signs but the only one he has picked up is "pig" i'll keep trying him though.

i'll try the photos but he will point at random photos of women and say "mamam" which i'm not sure why, he doesn't recognise himself in a mirror but he does understand most of what you say to him, he can follow instructions, he seems to have a good concentration span but only when it suits him.

nursery aren't having to many issues but they have observed him and put him at around 18months they have noticed he keeps washing his hands alot and he does keep screaming alot, he loves the water tray there.

Salad, you sound like you're already doing a lot with him and TBH you know him best. What worked with my DS may not work for yours. My DS didn't like signing, he preferred more concrete pictures, words and signs were too abstract for him. He talks well these days! The water play sounds fun! Have you tried messy play, gloop or sand? (in the garden, of course!)

The Hanen book is very good.

i think i will try that book out if its helping others there is sure to be something in it for my ds, i think i might try the photos just for places and see how he goes, been thinking about it alot today and im wondering how much of a sentence he is understanding, for example if i say " E we are ging to the shops " he hears shops if i say " E no hitting" he just hears hitting and starts getting more aggressive but maybe thats just him. i feel i'm presuming everything with him, even friends of mine have said "maybe he's just naughty and not very bright" my dad thinks he has OCD.

he's not a lover of messy play, we go to the messy play group at our sure start and he has just started painting but he needs alot of reassurance, slightest bit of paint on his hands or the apron and he isn't happy. he refuses to touch gloop lol he likes sand if theres cars in there, hes obsessed with wheels x

ring paeds office and make it clear you want an appointment asap, will happily take nay appointment and then ring every week there after. Sounds terrible but those that shot louder get seen quicker. If you not phoning they assume yu can wait, and to see a paed here is 6-18months dependant on who your waiting on!

also so your ready for all the questions write a list of all the things as and when they occur that worry you over the next few weeks , wether at home or nursery and get your red book out too as this you will probably have dates in that will help jog your memory.even the little things like eg, nursery say he had a meltdown because his hands are all messy from paint it all makes a better picture for them IYKWIM and keep ringing and nagging them including how he reacts in noisy/ stressful places it can be quite important

I was asking about the messy play as children with SEN can often have problems with getting dirty. It does sound like you have enough concerns to chase up your appointment. Don't listen to 'friends' who have no experience of SEN, they will forever be saying things like, 'all children do that.' They are trying to be nice (or not!) but it's frustrating if no-one is taking you seriously. Go with your gut instinct.

thanks for that i will try get the number, my hv is away at the moment but we did get SALT quicker i think because me and the hv where harrassing them :) so i'll ask her to help

i tend to only notice the things that make life difficult, he cannot use cutlery but hates his hands dirty then he will constantly run off and barely eat anything, i considered getting the high chair back out but i feel i'd be stepping him back, hes got a booster but hes getting too big for it, hes a big lad for his age.... this parenting thing is tough i never know what to do for the best!

my friends are starting to annoy me tbh with it all, especially those telling me his speech will come when their children the same age are talking away, or the ones who say "he's just being a boy" none of their boys are running around like mine does, he literally is non stop from the minute he wakes up to the minute he goes to bed, i have to sleep with him just to get a bit of sleep but my friends make me feel like i'm over reacting and he's just normal.

he's playing with a balloon at the moment, he's played with it for 3 hours solid, not got any other toys out x

Why does your dad think he has OCD? Is it the hands thing? My dad has OCD and we think my 3 year old boy has it too. We've seen a specialist and apprently it can run in families and often misses a generation. he had a speech delay (massively better) and has some anxiety issues - seems scared of stuff - quite oftne hard to understand what or why. It is very hard to cope with the idea of such a young child having such an adult type illness.

my dad just thinks he has OCD because of the hand washing but theres other things going off so i wouldn't say he has, after muchh thought i'm starting to thnk he is hyperactive if thats the right term with maybe some other things going on. he is alot more active than any one elses toddler i know, i have literally lost 2 stone chasing after him, he never stops i've been looking through some photos i took yesterday and he looks switched off if i'm honest x

It sounds like the main issue is hyperactivity, you must be exhausted! my son does not have this, in fact he has the opposite problem, almost too cautious and slow. It sounds like your ds has some neurological issues which are not your fault and it sounds like you are doing all the right things. you need to push for help especially if you are losing weight and not sleeping. good luck x

my health visitor is helping loads and the childrens centre managed to get him 15hours of nursery care so thats helped alot but he is just so disobedient but i'm left wondering whether thats him or if its because he can't understand/frustration ect its so much hard work.

he has a possible skull problem, he was born with a very obvious metopic ridge, totally flat skull at the back but he was checked by a pead who after xraying him sent him to specialist who said all was fine but i'm becoming more and more concerned about it, i bought him a cycle helmet and its now too small, its for a circumference of up to 56cms, his hats are aged 8-12 years x