Should I stop these playdates?

[FauxFox]

I have a couple of friends i met when our kids were babies. We all have boys who are now 6 and they used to get on well. We see them for tea and play after school every week and take turns to host.

My son has ASD and his play skills are not up to much but he is harmless and does not break stuff or get in their way very much, but lately the other boys are being a bit mean to him, blocking his path to get into rooms, telling tales on him, complaining that he is annoying, laughing at him etc. They are not horrid generally - they are lovely boys, but they just don't 'get' him. (He has friends at school that do and are patient and don't mind his funny ways).

Should i stop this playdate arrangement and try and see my friends separately in the evenings instead? i like seeing them regularly but i'm not enjoying it now i feel their sons don't want DS around

If they are really good friends could you discuss the problem with them? School friends choose each other and also see more of each other so will he more tolerant. Perhaps your friends' kids could do with a bit of a chat about ASD awareness and tolerance, or maybe, as is often the case, the children of the friends you choose are just not the friends your children would choose. It has always been this way, SN or not!

I met 3 lovely ladies in hospital when DS1 (NT) and their DS's were born. We did the playdates for years, but now just catch up in the evenings. 2 of the boys are best friends and at the same school, the other 2 (including mine) never gelled. It's normal.

Will be more tolerant.

I know you are right ellen thanks for that put it into perspective for me! I just feel overprotective I suppose and they are good friends but I don't know how to put it without sounding like I think their DSs are big meanies! I think 6 is a diffy age to explain ASD...i've done my best...I think i'll break off the playdates and try and do evening drinks once in a while instead.

My DS2 (ASD) got On much better with the children in his class when the autism advisory teacher came in and did an invisible disability chat with them. They really look after him these days. They were in Y1 at the time, so about 6! If you sell it as 'awareness' rather than a criticism you might get away with it. But sometimes it may just be flogging a dead horse!

Thanks zzz very insightful message...def food for thought...DS is a twin too with NT DD so we have perhaps explained better to her than these friends...I agree with much of what you have said but don't want to make a big deal of something that might be better left...I will have a think.

Thanks so much peeps