Anxiety and Depression in a 6 year old...anyone any experience?

[Carrotsandcelery]

My son, who we thought was going to be diagnosed with ADHD or similar, now looks like he will be diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

He has been referred to clinical psychology at the hospital now, but the appointment could take several months - this is us being fast tracked as it normally takes 18 months here.

I have been googling it but have frightened myself silly with what I have found and thought it might be better to "speak" to someone who has experienced similar.

He is 6 and this seems to be the result of parental bullying, which I have posted about before, where 3 mums have ganged up on him, refusing to believe that their own sons misbehave too, when the school clearly says that they do and that my son's behaviour is no different to their own children's.

What should I expect? What can I do to help my son? I just don't know what to think or where to start.

Sorry Carrots. No experience to offer - just to say i hope your appointment comes quickly and you can get questions answered.
I know what you mean about googling though. I think as parents we are programmed to look at worst case scenarios. I think you're right to take a step away and gather your thoughts and take in other views to give you a balance.
Hope someone comes along soon with some help

My son suffers with severe anxiety and self harms, he has had therapy at CAMHS for over a year now. He is now 7 years old.

Happy to help if i can.

Thank you both for replying.

Claw3 - your poor wee boy. It is a shock to realise that these things can happen to such young children.

Can I share my ignorance and ask what CAMHS is?

If it is not too personal a question Claw3 can I also ask what his therapy involved?

I may have a long wait for my initial appointment and I don't know how to help my wee boy while I we are waiting.

It is a shock Carrot.

CAMHS is Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service. We got a referal from Paed.

Not too personal at all, he sees a child Psychotherapist once a week for an hour. He was first assessed by a Clinical Psychologist before he was offered the therapy.

All therapy is done through play and ds loves going. His care plan is:-

1. Therapy to help ds explore his sense of self and his boundaries.

1. To provide a safe and consistent space where he can explore his feelings and emotions in himself and others.

1. The therapy will help ds make sense of the world, which at the moment seems to be confusing and therefore causing anxiety.

1. Parent support will help the family to manage ds's anxieties and the impact this may have (although this stopped pretty quickly as they thought i was managing well and it seemed a bit pointless, meeting just for them to agree with what i was doing)

Ds directs his anxiety inwards and self harms in a very quiet manner, he hides it. Others might lash out or have a tic etc, etc.

Can your ds tell you what he worries about?

I have a son who among other issues also has severe anxiety and depression. He is on prozac and was supposed to be getting some form of cbt, which has now been discounted due to his sld. He;s 10 now.

Carrot just dug this out for you, its something the the NAS sent me a while back, ds has ASD, but whatever the dx or even without one, you might find something in there of some use to you.

Anxiety is common in people with an ASD. It can happen for a range of reasons and people can vary in their ability to cope with it. Anxiety can affect both the mind and the body, and produce a range of symptoms. The psychological and physical symptoms of anxiety are closely linked and so can lead to a vicious cycle that can be difficult to break. The psychological symptoms of anxiety are:

? easily losing patience
? difficulty concentrating
? thinking constantly about the worst outcome
? difficulty sleeping
? depression
? becoming preoccupied with or obsessive about one subject.

Its physical symptoms include:

? excessive thirst
? stomach upsets
? loose bowel movements
? frequent urinating (going to the loo)
? periods of intensely pounding heart
? periods of having gas
? muscle aches
? headaches
? dizziness
? pins and needles
? tremors.

If you do experience any of these symptoms, it is important to also get medical advice to rule out other medical conditions.

Understanding anxiety

Emotions are abstract. To understand emotion you need an imagination. One of the areas of difficulty for people with an ASD is not being to imagine things so understanding emotions can be difficult for them. People with high-functioning autism may understand some emotions and recognise the feelings that are associated with them. By helping someone to understand anxiety, you can help them to manage it better.

Resources such as those sold by Incentive Plus (see Further information and contact details) as well as the Autism Research Centre?s CD ROM, Mind reading (available from NAS publications; contact details below), can help teach someone with an ASD about emotions.

Strategies for managing anxiety

Once someone understands anxiety and has identified the things and situations that make them anxious, they can then take steps to cope with the anxiety. If you are looking after someone with an ASD, try and be aware of what makes them anxious and how best to help them manage certain behaviours.

Keep a diary

To help someone with an ASD understand anxiety, get them to understand the symptoms they display when they are anxious and to look at the causes of their anxiety. Keeping a diary in which they write about certain situations and how these make them feel may help them to understand their anxiety and manage it better.
Use the diary also to think about the physical changes linked to anxiety. Someone with an ASD often retreats into their particular interest if they are anxious about something ? use the diary to monitor this as well:

Time and date Situation How I felt at the time On a scale of one to ten, how anxious did I feel?

Meltdown prevention plan

Create an ?anxiety plan? when someone with an ASD is feeling positive about things. An anxiety plan is a list of things and situations that cause anxiety as well as solutions and strategies they can use to help them manage their anxiety levels. The plan can be adapted, depending upon how well someone understands anxiety:

Situation
Symptoms of anxiety Solution
Going on the bus
Hearts beats fast; sweat and feel sick. Have stress ball in pocket.
Squeeze the ball and take deep breaths.
Listen to music.

Relaxation techniques

Someone with an ASD can find it very difficult to relax. Some people with an ASD have a particular interest or activity they like to do because it helps them relax. If they use these to relax, it may help to build them into their daily routine. However, this interest or activity can itself be the source of behavioural difficulties at times, especially if they?re unable to follow their interest or do the activity at a particular moment.
Some people may need to be left alone for short periods of the day to help them unwind.
Physical activity can also often help to manage anxiety and release tension. Using deep breathing exercises to relax can be helpful as can activities such as yoga and Pilates, which both focus on breathing to relax. Use a visual timetable or write a list to help remind the person when they need to practice relaxation.

Any other activities that are pleasant and calming ? such as taking a bath, listening to relaxing music, aromatherapy, playing on a computer ? may also help reduce anxiety. Some people may find lights particularly soothing, especially those of a repetitive nature, such as spinning lights or bubble tubes.

You may need to encourage adults who are less able to take part in these activities so that they can enjoy their benefits. You can do this by explaining when and where they will do the activity and what it will involve. You may have to go along with the person at first and do short periods of activity to begin with.

Talking about anxiety

Some people with an ASD find direct confrontation difficult. They may therefore be unable to say they don?t like certain things or situations, which will raise their anxiety levels. If they identify they are anxious, they could use a card system to let family or friends around them know how they are feeling. At first, you may need to tell them when to use the card and prompt them to use it when they do become anxious.

They could also carry a card around with them to remind themselves of what they need to do if they start getting anxious. You could also give them a ?stress scale? that they can use whenever they find something particularly stressful.

It may help them to buy our Autism Alert card, which is the size of a credit card. They can use the card to let members of the public know they have an ASD. The Autism Alert card is available from NAS publications (see contact details below).

Getting support from other people with an ASD

Personal accounts

It may help someone with an ASD to read the personal accounts of other people who also have an ASD, and to see how they dealt with certain situations and managed any anxiety they experienced. A number of people with an ASD have written personal accounts of their experiences:

*Glass half empty, glass half full: how Asperger?s syndrome has changed my life by Chris Mitchell

*Making sense of the unfeasible: my life journey with Asperger syndrome by Mark Fleisher

*Thinking in pictures by Temple Grandin

We also produce a quarterly newsletter called Asperger United. It is written by people with an ASD and includes personal accounts of having an ASD. Contact us to subscribe to the newsletter.

Online resources

The following online resources may be helpful to someone with an ASD as they are all aimed specifically at people with ASDs:

? www.aspiesforfreedom.com
This site has a range of forums and a chat room, articles and lots of information and aims to help build the autism culture.
? www.assupportgrouponline.co.uk
This website is run by Emma Thomson, who has an ASD. It has lots of information, including a blog.
? www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=120
This is on the NAS website and includes personal stories, thoughts, reflections, short films, articles and lecture transcripts about life on the spectrum from people with ASDs.
? www.inlv.demon.nl/irc.asperger
This website is for people with ASDs and its priority is to provide support.
? www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~alistair/survival
This website includes chapters from a book by Marc Segar, who had an ASD. ?Coping: A Survival Guide for People with Asperger Syndrome? has tips and advice on how to cope with a range of feelings, written from the perspective of someone with an ASD. For example, Marc not only talks about the unwritten rules about behaviour, but offers lots of tips and advice.
? www.wrongplanet.net
This website is designed for individuals and parents of people with ASDs. It has a discussion forum, a section for articles, ?how-to guides? and a chatroom for real-time communication.

The resources on external websites are provided for your help and information only. They are sites maintained by other groups, organisations and individuals and are provided in good faith. The presence of a website does not necessarily imply that the NAS endorses or supports the originator(s), nor does the absence of a group imply that the NAS does not support it, and cannot be held responsible for the quality of the information provided.

Support groups

Going to a support group for people with ASDs means meeting other people with ASDs, which can be helpful in some cases. Different support groups will offer different activities, from going on outings to discussion groups about particular topics. Go to www.autism.org.uk/directory for information about support groups in the UK. You can also contact our Autism Helpline to help find various services.

Getting specialist help

Some people with an ASD are not able to identify their anxiety or to put in place strategies to manage it on their own. A specialist or a counsellor with experience of ASDs may be able to help them. Our Autism Helpline has details of counsellors and specialists in different areas.

The following information sheets may also help and are available from our Autism Helpline:

? Counselling
? Counsellors and psychotherapists: a guide
? Obsessions, repetitive behaviours and routines
? Organisation, sequencing and prioritising
? Preparing a person with autism spectrum disorder for change
? Social skills: an introduction
? Understanding behaviour
? Using visual support

Further information and contact details
Incentive Plus
6 Fernifield Farm
Little Horwood
Milton Keynes
MK 17 ORP
Tel: 0845 180 0140
www.incentiveplus.co.uk
Incentive Plus sells a range of resources to promote social and emotional skills.

Recommended reading

• Attwood, T. (1993). Why does Chris do that? Some suggestions regarding the cause and management of the unusual behaviour of children and adults with autism and Asperger syndrome. London: The National Autistic Society
• Attwood, T. (2006). The complete guide to Asperger's syndrome. London: The National Autistic Society

Bourne, E.J. (2005). The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. USA: New Harbinger Publications

Cuomo, N. (2007). Integrated Yoga - Yoga with a Sensory Integrative Approach.
London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers

• Ghaziuddin, M. (2005). Mental health aspects of autism and Asperger syndrome. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Greenberger, D. and Padesky, C. A. (1995). Mind over Mood: Change how you feel by changing the way you think: London: The Guildford Press

• May, F. (2005). Understanding behaviour. London: The National Autistic Society

Mind. (2006). The Mind guide to relaxation. London: MIND

Trickett, S. (1997). Coping with anxiety and depression. London: Sheldon Press

Williams, D. (2003). Exposure Anxiety - The Invisible Cage. An Exploration of Self-Protection Responses in the Autism Spectrum and Beyond. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers

• Wing, L. (2006). What?s so special about autism? London: The National Autistic Society

*If an item is marked as available from the NAS please contact:
NAS Publications
Central Books Ltd
99 Wallis Road
London E9 5LN
Tel: +44 (0)845 458 9911
Fax: +44 (0)845 458 9912
Email: [email protected]
Online orders: www.autism.org.uk/pubs

If you require further information please contact the
NAS Autism Helpline
Tel: 0845 070 4004
[email protected]

Last updated: June 2009
© The National Autistic Society 2009
The National Autistic Society is the UK?s leading charity for people affected by autism.

Thanks Claw that is very helpful.

We have already been referred to Clinical Psychology but it will take a while to see someone.

My ds had some sleep issues but was otherwise fine until this bullying started. Now he has panic attacks, has developed 2 tics, has temper tantrums, has anxiety related tummy troubles, is scared by new or different circumstances, has nightmares again, worries about going to school in the morning etc.

I have taught children who self harm and it is very upsetting to deal with. I hope your ds's treatment is bringing him some relief.

The poor love Carrot, he sounds very similar to ds and has many of the same symptoms. Strangely enough bullying by other children was one of the reasons for his anxieties, as well as the school not understanding his difficulties and him being punished for them etc.

A combination of changing schools, receiving more understanding, help support, therapy etc have helped.

Relaxation tech helped with his sleep issues, although he needed Melatonin for a few weeks to literally reset his body clock, but now we just use relaxation. Nightmares were so bad, he was scared to sleep, these are rare now.

Panic attacks, i just used to take him away from the situation, somewhere quiet and ask him what would make him better. Sometimes it was something just as simple as he needed to wash his hands or didnt want people to look at him. These have improved greatly now.

He had a few tics going on to, one was a verbal tic and the other was a kinda jolted head movement. The verbal tic has gone completely now, head movement has improved.

He began refusing school, at his old school, his attendance is 99% now and he runs through the school gate, instead of hiding behind my legs and crying.

Self harming isnt as severe as it was.

I wish i had a magic wand i could wave for your ds and make everything better, unfortunately it is usually a combination of things which make them overwhelming anxious.

Ds is still very anxious, but not as overwhelming so, he is coping much better with it at the moment.

Im not familar with your ds's bullying issues, so sorry i cant be of more help. But when ds was being bullied i did threatened to remove my ds from the school if they couldnt guarntee his well being and safety and tell Governors Ofsted etc, exactly why i was removing him and that is exactly what i did in the end.

Claw you have been so helpful to me - thank you so much.

It is good to hear that your ds has made progress but I am sad to think there are other wee boys out there feeling like my wee boy feels. That magic wand would be a great but, as you say, I think we have to do this the slow and steady way.

The school are being supportive so far although I have obviously not discussed this new information with them fully. Initially he was given into trouble following complaints from this parent who has decided to pick on him. I told him off too which I am furious about now. Since then the lady's complaints have become so frequent and ridiculous that the school has realised that she has issues and they have not acted upon them.

Now she gets at ds by saying awful things to her ds and encouraging him to say them to my ds. My ds is so confused. He thinks this wee boy is his friend and doesn't know why he is treating him like this.

She also had 2 other mums "onboard" for a while who also launched less vicious but still damaging attacks on ds. They began to see what they were doing though and have stepped back.

The school has made it clear to them and to me that my ds has not behaved in any way differently to their ds's. He is a 6 year old boy - he is not perfect or an angel but their boys are the same. The problem seems to be that they cannot accept their boys do daft things sometimes and are using ds as a scapegoat rather than accept it.

I think they now feel trapped with this Mum as everyone is avoiding them. I haven't said a word so it is not because of me but I think kids talk and Mums see the little huddles in the playground etc. It is a small village and this mum is new and doesn't seem to have realised that we are a supportive place, not a gossipy mean place.

It all sounds very childish and silly written down but when you are 6 it is horrible. You don't know what you are going to be accused of next or what behaviour will be considered unacceptable.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support Claw. I have only talked about this with my Mum and best friend in RL as I don't want my ds labelled any more than he already is. It helps to know I am not alone, even though it is sad to hear it too.

Thank you.

Carrot you are more than welcome, i know just how heartbreaking it is. I did not have any support from the school, my only support was from here too and the NAS.

What you have written is not childish or silly (thats how school made me feel). It is effecting your ds terribly and no one else will fight for your ds but you.

I kept a diary of every incident and reported it to school in writing. The school need to put a stop to it immediately. You could always give the NAS a ring they were very understanding and supportive and full of suggestions.

Pipinjo the NAS were brilliant.

Oh and dont let anyone make you feel that you are making a fuss and that this isnt a big deal. Good luck xx

Sorry just another thought, keep pushing for that diagnosis, there is usually an underlying reason for such overwhelming anxiety.

must also add my ds has been out of school for nearly a year. He too was signed off by the psyc and now has a home tutor. This can be done for kids with anxiety as well as other medical, so something else to think about.