Despite our absolute conviction that ds has Pathological Demand Avoidance and needs some help. Despite that fact that everyday is almost constant low grade grief from/with him. Despite my parents saying 'you just can't go on like this. He's not happy'. Despite reading everything I can on his issues. Despite coming on here and seeing our experience with ds reflected in so many of your experiences. Despite the professionals acknowledging there is definitely 'something' going on. Despite me thinking and thinking about what to do and how to do it and determining on a course of action, despite it all, I am putting it off.
I have made the first tentative steps on a road to diagnosis, the school nurse referred us to family support and paed, but we've had a letter to say they will leave a paed appt until after family steps have seen us which means weeks and weeks more waiting. Even when we see the paed I know it will just mean waiting for the next referral. Meanwhile, life is passing my ds by.
I keep resolving to go to the GP and make a case for referral to them, but then at the last minute I back off and don't make that appt.
I have written an eight page document of carefully set out explanations of how ds conforms to each of the diagnostic criteria and supporting observations of his behaviour.
But I am too scared to take the next step.
Dh is supportive and knows in his heart that something needs to be done. But he is even more scared than me, and sometimes gets angry and says we should just leave it, he doesn't want him 'labelled'. We are scared of the professionals, I think, scared of the formailty of going to see them. We have considered that we could go privately and get him assessed but it costs £3000 to get him assessed and that's an awful lot of money. We would pay it, but people have suggested that the LA will not take account of a private dx and so it would be £3000 effectively wasted.