Teeth brushing - causing lots of distress

[yukoncher]

Hi all
My son is aged 4.3
I started brushing his teeth when he was 1.5yrs.
Every. single. time. He screams like he's being murdered. Every single time.
I gotta admit, I only brush them once a day now, every night (without fail). I have to physically hold him down, I've tried everything. But always, he will hate it, no matter how nice I am or how much praise I give.
He's getting so big to hold down so now I bath him at night and wrap a towel around him while brushing to help restrain him. I feel terrible putting him through it but it needs to be done.
Is this normal for a child with possible ASD?
Also hair washing, every time, that's also distressing for him, he thinks any water in his eyes is painful. Again, we have to go through that 2 or 3 times a week. sigh
I'm taking him to the dentist again next month and we think he'll have to be sedated so they can look at his teeth properly, as he does have a dark area, possibly a cavity.
Anyone else go through this? :/

Yep, ds has had to have 5 teeth removed under GA. Hates having a bath and hair wash and avoids it at all cost, he is 7 years old. Hates anything going in his mouth, even food.

Things that have helped

We got a referral to a Community dentist, who gives hour long appointments every week until ds feels comfortable, ds is allowed to touch the equipment and they demonstrate exactly what they are going to do on a pair of false teeth, ds is allowed to do it too etc and no pressure is put on him to do anything.

When brushing his teeth, he opens and i am allowed to brush for 10 seconds, then i stop, then 10 seconds again. It has helped him knowing that there is finish to it and i will stop when it becomes unbearable. (we started on 3 seconds and worked up to 10) He still bites the brush or puts his tongue in the way, but its progress!

He hates minty toothpaste, we changed to a fruit flavoured one, which he tolerates better.

With ds its all about him being in control, which might be worth bearing in mind.

Hope this is of some help to you.

I bought one of these from Fledglings. DS hates his teeth being brushed but this toothbrush brushes all of the edges of the teeth at once so you don't have to brush for nearly so long. It has transformed teeth brushing for me. He will still try and resist but now it is not nearly so traumatic for him. I also use a fruity toothpaste - Sainsburys.

We did try an electric toothbrush as some books say that it helps to desensitise but it was even worse for him as he felt the vibration all over his face.

Hi I hav the same issues with my dd who has sensory problems. We have a a hair washing guard that we got from tesco for about £2. It fits all head sizes and is made out of foam like stuff and has a peak at the front so stops water going in eyes. Dd hates it going on so I stick it on then quickly chuck her in the bath to distract her.

Teeth brushing was awful for us. Dd is only 21 months so as well as sensory issues we also have teething issues! We gave he a tooth brush to hold sat her in front of me an got her to brush my teeth while I snuck her toothbrush in and did hers which works a bit better. She still gags and gets her Tongue in the way but no more screaming and headbutting

Find alternatives to toothbrushing? There's a lot you can do to promote oral hygeine without toothbrushes - grain-free diet will just about deal with it on its own, or even better when coupled with plenty of vit D. If that's a step too fat, then carrots, apples, hard cheese are good tooth cleaners. Avoid sweet drinks.

And I'd just stop with the hairwashing already. Within 6 weeks it no longer smells gross. Occasional rinsing is all that is required - and I mean once every few weeks is plenty.

fat far

gah.

I'll second the referral to the community dentist. Ours spends lots of time with DS and will let him press buttons etc and she will peer in to his mouth while he is talking (which is all the time!) to see as much as she can without using any of her tools.

Who does the referral to the community dentist?

yes id be interested in the community dentist too i also find its partly the toothbrush but more the tastes of toothpaste he hates ive tried all sorts he prefers the berry flavour but hes too old for that now , my biggest problem atm is hes actually been given a removable brace and hates wearing it and takes it out willy nilly and leaves it anywhere the dentist even though very friendly and patient doesnt get why i cant force him to keep it in he doesnt give a fig for what his teeth look like or brushing them and no ammount of bribery works he cant have a permanent brace this one does a specific job and this has to be done before more permanent train tracks , can you imagine how it was when they did the mould in his mouth i wonder why the reception was empty when we came out lol

Toothbrushing can sometimes involve a headlock here, so I can certainly see where you're coming from. Electric toothbrushes are a huge no-no here. DS2 won't even be in the same room if DH is using his. He can't stand the noise, and it upsets him so much he hasn't even gotten close enough to notice a vibration. Some days are better than others as far as brushing is concerned, but we've tried to at least do a few things to get his interest - he has a Cars toothbrush and Shrek toothpaste. I think the sensations are very unpleasant for DS2 as he does get quite upset over it, but as soon as it's done, he's fine, like a light switch...until the next time.

He went to the dentist once for a checkup. I spoke to the dentist ahead of time, and he suggested for the first visit no instruments at all, just visually looking at his teeth to make sure they were coming in okay, and counting them. As DS2 is fascinated with anything involving numbers, he was quite pleased to have his teeth counted and now is happy to volunteer that he has 20 teeth. He also thought the chair that went up and down was a bit startling at first, but then enjoyed it. So all in all, he liked the dentist. We'll worry about a more thorough check next time, but we wanted the first visit to be positive and stress free for him.

Washing his hair is also a "counting" time. Whenever DS2 gets stressed, we rely on number games to keep his focus on something other than what is happening. So we don't fill the tub too horribly full, so that we can have him lay down and I hold his head up (behind his neck) and get his hair wet - the whole time I'm pouring water over his hair (avoiding his face obviously), we're discussing what number he should count to. I spend the time bargaining, giving ridiculously high numbers (a million and six, eight thousand and five, two billion and four), so he's laughing at that and offers 10. By that time we're done with getting hair wet and he counts to 10, and I sit him up to put shampoo in his hair and wash it. Then we do the same thing again (laying him down to rinse) with rinsing the shampoo out. We have tried a million things and that is the ONLY thing that works with him. And you have to keep the chatter going the whole time or the focus is lost and he has a meltdown. He is not quite ready for the shower yet - the noise of the water upsets him - although we've tried a couple, you practically have to cement him to the floor to keep him still, so we've decided it's not safe yet - too worried he'll slip and fall.

Not a clue if all that helped. God... too much written!! how embarrassing!

Teeth brushing and hair washing also a battleground for us!
The dentist has never even seen ds' teeth as he point blank refuses go anywhere near the dentist let alone open his mouth!
I'm just keeping off the sweet stuff as much as poss and hoping for the best!
Even getting a bath or shower at all is a nightmare for us, adding in hair wash just makes it even more fun . Ironically though It can take 30 mins to distract/encourage/persuade/coerce him into the bath and then another 30 mins to get him out again.

Has he got any obsessions? I found a ben 10 toothpaste recently and tell him I'm giving him ben 10 teeth... It doesn't work wonders but there is a tiny improvement

I can sympathise as Ds2 (Aspergers) also hates having his teeth brushed - TBH I wasn't that worried when he was little but now he's 7 and has some adult teeth so I have to be very strict! Funnily enough he loves going to the dentist, sitting in the chair, putting on the funny glasses etc and he seems to have inherited my good teeth rather than DH's! As for the hairwashing, I've virtually given up now! I probably do it once every six weeks or so, it honestly doesn't smell or look greasy

I do a gentle headlock and count to 10 for upper and lower teeth, so teeth only ever get cleaned for 20 seconds twice a day. It seems to have done the job and he's annoyed about it rather than traumatised. At the respite home, they just won't do the headlock thing, so DS comes home with smelly breath. It really pisses me off.

I am greatly relieved that I am not the only headlock-tooth-brusher out there. Actually it's more like a full-on-body-wrestle to the ground. However, as ds is a strapping 9 year old, this is becoming harder. So have now moved to threatening withdrawal of computer unless there is co-operation... and then do the headlock... :)

Just marking my place as I also want to know how to find a community dentist. DS screams if I mention going to the dentist, so he has never been and his fear seems to be getting worse (after watching the Johnny Depp version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - whoops.

A friend of mine has located a flavour-free toothpaste. I can find out about that if anyone is interested (I'm not as DS doesn't mind the mint ones).

Sops - ha ha about bathtime - that's the story here, too. He's usually like a pink prune when I manage to get him back out!!!

Wow, I'm so relieved, lol
I thought I'd be facing some critism for restraining my son to brush his teeth. So good dealing with people that actually know what it's like.

Flavour-free toothpaste? Tell me more!

I googled "community dentist medway" and it came up with a page which showed me how to get him an appointment. Apparently a standard dentist or other health professional can do the referral.

I often have "DON'T FORCE ME" re teeth brushing at the top of his voice. The neighbours must regularly think that I am doing something awful to him.......

My dentist referred ds to Community dentist.

They also sell high flouride Mr Men fruit flavoured toothpaste in Asda. The problem i had was finding a fruit flavoured without reduced flouride.

Dentist also told me even i cant get the toothbrush in ds's mouth twice a day, at least try to get the toothpaste in.

Ds2 (asd or hfa) had to have 5 baby teeth out under GA too. He is now 13 and his last adult teeth are coming through in those gaps. I put a tiny bit of toothpaste on his brush now, it actually means that there isn't loads of foamy stuff in the mouth, so I do the same for myself.

When he only liked one sort of toothpaste and needed a higher flouride dose I would put the tiniest touch of that new one on the brush, then put the favourite sort on top. Over time I varied the proportion to include more of the flouride one. Now it's just the Duraphat (Colgate) 2800 ppm flouride, but for a long time I put some of both on the brush. It was no effort compared to the consequences of not doing it ultra gradually.

He goes to the hygienist and takes his timer with him. When she is ready he sets it to 4 minutes and she whizzes round in no time! She is fantastic with him. I wouldn't want to move due to the worry of finding another kind dentist and hygienist.

I used to make sure we got the first appointment in the afternoon session so he didn't have to wait and start stimming, humming, making odd noises in stress.

He needed a filling a while back so we went to the community dentist. Over several sessions he introduced ds2 to magic air sedation and at the end he and the dentist said thankyou and shook hands! I had to be very clear that we needed the same assistant if possible every time to ensure continuity and predictability.

I have also found out that ds2's hair becomes magically clean if left unattended...:)

You can refer yourself to the Community Dentist (now called PCT Dental Services - or similar). Look them up on your PCT's website under Special Care Dentistry and give them a ring :)

DD is obsessed with doing it herself, but we went through this stage. She often compains that the toothpaste is hurting her - there have been some good suggestions here, which I don't think I can add to really but I didnt want to read and run. Hope you find something that works for youand DS.