Bedtime - what time is realistic?

[DietcokeGirl]

DS1 (nearly 4) has been getting later the past couple of months and I know that the days of him being asleep at 7.15pm are well and truly over! It has been 9/9.30pm but this week he has gone to sleep 8.15/8.30pm. The upside is that he doesn't get up until 7 ish and later on a w/end. If I got him up earlier he would still string it out now so no point doing that. Plus, I actually prefer him going to bed a bit later than getting up at 6am! However, I do not want to be sat upstairs until 8.30/9pm every night until he goes to sleep. At the moment I am letting him watch a dvd for a short time, read a book then go to sleep. I didn't really want to let him watch a dvd at bedtime but it cuts out the hour of him doing roley poleys off the bed as he not tired enough to sleep.

So, what do you do? Make them go to their bedroom earlier and play/watch tv until they fall alseep on their own? Keep them downstairs til later? Or do you sit in bedroom and do quiet stuff for a couple of hours until they tired enough to sleep?

Any thoughts would be appreciated!

Why do you have to sit with him? sorry i dont understand the specific needs of your child.

My kids used to go to bed at 8pm at that age.. lights, TV off books down... in bed at least trying to sleep or there was trouble. But i realise that approch doens't work for all kids esp those with special needs.

When my son was 4 he wouldnt go to sleep until really late and i had to sit and guard him as he put it. I did buy one of those little dvd players and would put a dvd on and sometimes he would fall asleep watching it. Even though he went late he would still get up really early. The only thing thats changed now is that he was prescribed melatonin and now age 6.5 he is asleep by 7, but i still have to sit in there until hes fell asleep. I do not miss the age 4 years at all, like you i spent most of the evening bored and willing him to sleep. If my son didnt have the melatonin I would definitely be letting him watch a dvd on the portable player! x

sorry should have said DS1 has asd - high functioning I think but mainly non-verbal. I never had problems with bedtime until put him in a bed! He won't stay in his room now if I leave so stay with him until he goes to sleep. I don't think he is anywhere near medication stage. He messes around for a while then when he decides he has had enough he will just lay down and go to sleep. If he is really really tired he will just get in bed earlier and go to sleep but it is rare these days! Once he is asleep he doesn't get up until morning but he is in my bed now (sigh) as its just easier at the moment.

My older boy is ASD but it was the younger one i had trouble keeping in bed.
The only thing good about my older sons ASD is the fact that oddly if you tell him to do something he does it.. first time every time it's almost like he doens't know how to disobay.

However for the younger one, i really found putting together a strict bedtime routine helped. We got a sticker chart with different stages on bath , Teeth, story etc and as we did each one he got a sticker to put on.

At the same time every night we would start our routine, having a bath first (really helps) geting into thier PJ's, cleaning teeth and then a story.

Every night exactly the same thing, no going down stairs or messing about after the routine started. (any change can really disrupt them) then when it was time kiss's hugs and off i'd go.

When he was very little we had a safety gate on his door so he couldn't get out, we bought black out curtains and made sure the room was too dark to be "fun" but when he was old enough to remove it if he came down i would silently take his hand guide him back to bed, no fuss no cuddles or nice chats no begging him to sleep because i learned it was "that" attention he was craving and it just prolonged it. He did go though a stage of temper tantrums and you go feel cruel but after a few days he got bored and realised it didn't work.

my 2 DD (12 and 7) go up at 8, everything to be off at 9. however youngest is awful at bedtime and shouts, screams, hits just to keep DD1 awake
almost every night they sleep together too :(

LeninGrad - yep have spent the last few weeks wasting time trying to get him to bed when he clearly not tired enough. Thankfully it has really improved this week and he has been asleep by 8.15pm the last few nights. I think letting him watch a short dvd after DS2 has gone to bed and then story has done the trick (for now!). He has stirred earlier in the mornings so guess my w/end sleep-in is over now eh!!!

I think he has got used to sleeping with me now so imagine sleeping in his own room all night is going to be a real challenge. He was actually ok with going to sleep in his own bed but would wander into my bedroom at some point during the night, sometimes even by 10pm. We never took him back to his room (had DS2, did what needed to be done to get more sleep) so not sure how many times he would get up if we kept taking him back.

Glad you getting more sleep lenin and hope it continues!

Leila yes do have dark room, bedtime routine etc but doesn't make any difference really. Sometimes the routine does get disrupted as have DS2 as well and DH not always back from work in time for bedtime.

oh do let me know how you get on! good luck with it.

I have got two new quilt covers for DS1's room, nightlight, etc in his favourite character! I don't think getting him in the room will be the problem, staying in will be! I kind of like him in my bed as he sleeps all night (apart from odd blip) its just the staying with him til sleep time that is irritating me!

Nearly time for .

leningrad, my son wouldnt go to toilet alone (went lots cause of medical probs) and wouldnt stay in a room alone. He literally followed me everywhere and i had to escort him too the toilet each time, it was horrendous, im on my own with him and his big brother so there was no let up at all, it was like with your little one in having a shadow following me around.

The only way its practically stopped is by me moving to a bungalow, i do rent though so easier to move. Id noticed on a caravan holiday that he wasnt as stressed about being alone because we were all on one floor and in close proximaty to each other. So i moved to a bungalow, right near my mum as well . He will now go to loo on his own, he will go to our shared room to collect toys alone. He will wake up and go in the living room and watch tele alone! We do have a few pets also and a house cat who he will take around the bungalow with him for security.

thats great news leningrad, hope he stays downstairs again tomorow.......although tomorow is a different day and he may be worse, who knows what starts this awful anxiety off! x

leningrad, an old thread of mine from 2 years ago has been resurrected! have a look, i think you will see a lot of similarites in how my son was age 4.5 compared to yours now. my son has changed quite a lot since then, he was def worse then. Its about attachment disorder/seperation anxiety.x