TA problem at school....what to do?

[LaLaLandLady]

Have had to namechange on this. It's delicate.

My son's in mainstream primary school and will move up to HS in Sept 2012 so, still has this term and then another full year at primary. IT IS AN EXCELLENT SCHOOL. They have provided so much support to him (obviously) and to me, in my darker moments!

My son's had the assistance of two very experience ladies (TA's) who have worked with him from day one at the school. He has high functioning autism and is not happy with change. Whilst I know that the TA's are not personally assigned to any particular child, the school have taken the decision to put in someone new. This lady, I have been told by the Senco, does not have the experience of the other ladies and is "learnig the ropes" as it were. I appreciate, we ALL have to learn.

Now, my son's condition changed dramatically toward the end of last year. He had a further diagnosis of OCD/Tourettes and he is HARD WORK. I feel it's possible the other ladies may have requested this change. I get on really well with both.....they're lovely, a constant source of security to my son. He now has someone whom I feel, just isn't qualified to meet his needs. I get "he's done OK" at the end of the day in our handover (from school to me) and there's no detail and no enthusiasm, it seems. Then, on the way home, my ds starts to relate stuff that's happened and how he was crying, or hitting himself and I think "I NEED TO KNOW THIS FROM HER!!" One of the TA's previously assigned used my ds as part of her thesis work for her degree - so, she knows him inside out and back to front).

What would you do? I don't want to offend anyone. It's a good school but it's on my mind that they don't want to work with him now that he's so much worse. I feel bad even writing this, when they've been so good to him and me, but I just don't understand the move.

Oh, and he misses them both.

LLLandL, heck and hell. I know that if someone changes a person I'm being supported by, I find it SO hard to cope with it. It takes me a good six months to settle into knowing someone well enough to trust them fully. I think a conversation with the SENCO might be a very good idea, because 'he's done OK' is no sort of feedback at all.

Thanks amberlight. Don't want to rub them up the wrong way though, we NEED their support....our world's turned upside down at the moment.

He's doing short (3hr) days this week cause he's just not coping.

I'd be hiding in their storage cupboard and refusing to come out, so he's doing well to survive three hours in a way...but no way does he need this right now. If they are a responsible school they will take your concerns seriously - hope it goes ok...

But, what if, the original two TA's were finding it terribly hard to be with him all the time.and maybe, requested a break?? I KNOW how hard it is for me, and I love him to pieces.

I doubt the change has much to do with the TAs, I don't know any schools where they get to choose which pupils they work with - if they're well qualified, they'll be paid more than the new TA, it might well be that the school have changed them to get more for the money (group stuff rather than 1:1 for instance)

Even if it has been requested by TAs, it doesn't necessarily follow that they don't want to work with your son as much as, they wanted experience of different SENs or that they thought the new TA would benefit from working with your son... I wouldn't assume that he just got too hard for them.

Ask, as long as you do it carefully, there's no harm done. Don't criticize the new TA, just mention that DS is feeling insecure and that the previous TAs were giving him stability and is there any chance of a swap back?

If you want to ask for more feedback, again, just be careful not to criticize her, just say something along the lines of, TA tells me DS is doing ok, that's great, is there any chance I can arrange to see her about more detailed feedback?

Basically, if you don't say anything negative and ask politely - it's not going to cause any problems, is it? lol

I'd say if any TA is being left in a situation where they are having to request a break because they can't handle a situation, it would be very clear evidence that more support is needed for a child and they should be looking at it with you. Definitely no harm in polite asking.

LLLL you sound like me in your worries. My ds TA support has just changed. Actually he is happy with the change, but I feel I want to know reasons. The TA was clearly finding the job too much I know and was 1:1 30 hours a week. I had to pick up on a few things that weren't being done, in a polite way and I'm worried that I pushed the TA away as she did seem to get annoyed about my challenges. When I asked Senco why, she said that she has 20 more kids worse off than mine!! That has left me feeling even more worried.
DOn't fall into the trap of mind-reading. I would ask them quietly with a direct question, I'm sure you will be able to tell if the truth is being told.
No harm in outlining what you would like to happen. You don't want to have regrets and say how pleased you were with previous team.

Thanks Supermum98...

I asked today. Senco wasn't there but gently enquired (!) and the original TA told me that she thinks I SHOULD raise the point as, she doesn't understand what's happened either.

So, awaiting call from Senco or Head Mistress.

I'd be a little upset myself, if they implied that my ds "isn't the only one - we have 20 more even worse off". Nope. Don't like that..... YOUR child is the IMPORTANT one to you. As an ex-nurse, if I'd impled that a relative must realise we have worse off patients than their mother/father/whatever, I'd be spoken to, in no uncertain terms!!

If that makes any sense!