ASD Child Finding A School

[leiela]

Help?.

My son is autistic asperger?s to be precise and for this reason we needed to be very careful about getting a school that could cope with him for senior?s.
My LEA only has 5 schools and only 2 of those are within 5 miles of my house. I do however live close to the border of another LEA so when looking for schools I looked at that LEA as well.

I needed to put down 3 schools on my form and was told I should put at least one school from my own LEA as a ?realistic choice?. Both of the school?s within 5 miles are bad schools, everyone know?s they are bad schools and their ofsted reports are awful.

They where both built in the last 3 years in some ?wonder scheme? where the council took several ailing school?s and combined them into 2 massive school?s in the hope that the problems ailing the smaller schools wouldn?t follow them. Laughably it didn?t work and the issues are now a hundred times worse!! None the less I chose one of these school?s as my 3rd option because I didn?t want to risk getting lumped in the ?other? as some children in my street who bully my son go to it and I figured shoving him in the same school as his bully?s was a stupid idea.

It?s important to note my son is NOT statemented, nor is he on action plus. He suffer?s from high stress and worry and can easily be upset but he currently function?s very well in his mainstream primary school. We haven?t got a statement because his current school have been thus far able to cater for his needs with a simple dose of care and understanding.

Having spoken to the SEN department about it, it seems my son would have to be seen ?not coping? before he would qualify. Honestly in my opinion his current school do everything a statement would provide without the need for it? so I am currently getting the support I need but the LEA can?t be convinced I am receiving additional support without the stupid bit of paper.
Naturally we want to avoid and period of ?not coping? ? been there ?done that. It?s not pretty. The distress that being put into a bad school would cause would take along time to heal.

Anyway we have been allocated our third choice of school and our appeal has failed. It is my strong belief that this failing school can-not deal or handle my son?s condition but the LEA seem insistent that because he?s not statemented that?s alone is ?proof? any school can deal with him and the appeal panel seemed to agree with this assessment.

The specialist dealing with my son off the record admitted that if he went to this school I would be needing a statement within 3 months because off the record the school is not equipt to deal with him. He would be thrown headlong into a massive school and placed in a sink or swim situation where he would undoubtedly sink.

My sons current school is wonderful I can?t praise it enough but we all know ?All schools are NOT equal? no matter how much people try and fob us off they are.

I currently need to find a school for my son, but other than these 2 bad schools there are no school?s with places in the surrounding area and my son?s condition won?t allow him to be independent enough for long or complex travel journeys by bus.

Im at my wit?s end I don?t know what to do ? all my hopes were resting on this appeal and they have failed to get him into a school that can cope with him.

Is there anything I can do?!

I would apply for a statement tbh - it doesn't matter that so far you haven't needed one because the support from school has been enough. A statement is given on the basis of need - and if he needs it (and you can demonstrate that he does) then you have a good case for getting it.

"The LEA seem insistent that because he?s not statemented that?s alone is ?proof? any school can deal with him and the appeal panel seemed to agree with this assessment. " No, he is not statemented because you haven't requested it yet! The appeal panel for the school admissions is separate from the statementing (SEN) panel, so whether he has a statement or not is (or should be) irrelevant to the school appeal.

We're going through something slightly comparable, though with primary school - applied through normal process as ds didn't have a statement. Medical/social grounds of ASD wasn't seen as relevant by school admissions so we got our 5th choice, not 1st. Have submitted an appeal and are waiting for hearing date. In the meantime have been awarded a statement (which is rubbish and we're working on that now but that's another story!) so are trying to find out whether we still need to go ahead with the appeal (no-one seems to know), and even with a statement still can't name our preferred school as it's full (class size legislation...).

It sucks doesn't it.

Have you spoken to Parent Partnership? Might be worth a call.

Our main problem seem's to stem from the fact that though he's on the spectrum it often doens't come across as severe.

In the right enviroment you would never realise there was anything wrong with him. He just comes across as being mature for his age and extremely intelligent.

The main issues arise are when he's interacting with other children his age. He doesn't understand kids, he's not interested in games or socialising and is perfectly happy in his own company. Which means special time needs to be taken to encourage this social development, his current school is Very Very good at getting him involved in activitys and i don't want a school where he'll be lost and forgotten because learning to deal with his peer's is very important to his development, equally so to english and math's in my opinion.

Unfortunatly this social ineptitude also means he tends to "rub" other children up the wrong way, he doens't use slang and will therefore correct other childrens language. He conciders all other children "stupid" and interact's with them as if they are.

This difficulty with social interaction causes him to be bullied as he slowly manages to ailenate his peer's without realising. Children are cruel and while my son "copes" with most school activitys he is noticably different and it's my genuine belief that he will get bullied in the school he has been assigned and i do not feel they have the facility's to counteract that.

when i visited i witnessed a child banging on the staff room door for 5 minutes crying before a staff member could be bothered to answer. It worry's me that if he is bullied the staff don't seem to be available enough to prevent it.

The other main issue is that he is a worrier, he worry's about everything and anything and get's extremely anxious about things. At his current school he has a mentor and he is allowed to go to his mentor at any time to discuss and talk though his worry's .. it's not exeptional above and beyond type support in my opinion.

I just need a school willing and able to deal with his panic attacks when he get's upset because he broke the lead in his pencil in a compassionate manner rather than telling him to stop being rediculus... yes to me and you it's rediculus but to him it's very important.

my experience is basically if you dont have a statement you will have no more rights as far as his AS in the education system is concerned than a NT DC going on from primary to secondary school, ive never heard of any ASD school including one with an ASD unit or even a private school that wont want to see evidence that your in need of this reqirement IYSWIM my son is in year 6 atm and due to go up in sept and we have gone the path of looking at all local schools then local schools with ASD units and SS and SS that are non state , you could chat to the LA and ask if there is a local school who has children with AS so hopefully they will be set up with some better provision already possible even a quite space ect and like Mumslife says secondary is much different to primary as they get older there are more expectations for behaviour and study and the settings much larger and noisy with hustle and bustle 24/7 i know my son wouldnt cope with that, but added to this you would have to somehow make sure all the previous provision is in place without even a SA+ im not sure how it would work without one but perhaps you could talk to senco at the school hes at now about transition and see what they think your best options are Parent Partnership also can help with this and give advice and liaise with the schools on your behalf

Bialy I don't know how determined you are to get your ds into your 1st choice school but you could assure them that come Yr 2 (when the legislation is no longer in effect) you WILL be moving him to your first choice school, so can they put him at the top of their waiting list as it would be best that he starts there sooner rather than later. They might give him an appeal place on that basis i.e. better to you than to another child and then have to have you as well later.

I have evidence of his requirements in the form's of all of his assement reports from the CAHM's including the letter which says something along the lines of. While it was deemed by the medical professional's that he was on the spectrum his parents where unsure of the benifits of a diagnosis at this time.

I also have letter from his current school outlining the support they have in place and a letter from the phyc ed and specialist nurse who saw him, they where written to support my failed appeal but they outline his difficulties and stating clearly that a statment/diagnosis wasn't persued on the parents request however it was deemed in thier opinion that his disability was severe enough to warrent it.

I just don't know what do do, i'm currently concidering giving up work so i can home school him. However as the main earner of my household and because i belive wholeheartedly that hiding him from the world and social interaction isn't the best action i'm really conflicted, i just know deep in my gut the school he's been assigned won't give a two hoot's about a little boy who is quiet and withdrawn and won't complain about bullying even if it does happen.

My son is very vunerable, i realise now i made a terrible mistake not getting a diagnosis/statement as will persue it but that will take time and i need a solution in the meantime.... my son is already getting very anxious about seniors and he hasn't even stepped though the door yet. We did go and "see" the school back in september and we where forced to leave half way though the tour because he couldn't handle the size and number of kids etc.

I've totally exhusted parent partnership... tbh they have been utterly useless all they seem able to do is book me appointments at yet more schools.

Hi leiela,
You could be describing my dd. She is in Y5, but is on SA+.
Like your ds, she appears NT much of the time, but suffers from extreme anxiety. There is only one secondary in our area I would even consider sending her too, but she hasn't got a cat in hell's chance of getting in (massively oversubscribed) AND I am unconvinced that she would cope (as is her current head).

At the moment, our plan is to home educate at Y7. We did this before for a time and it was really successful. Please don't be concerned that you would be hiding your ds away- there are so many great options for socialising while home -edding. The HE board may be worth a look?

I realise, due to work, this may not be possible, but may be worth looking into?
I really feel for you, as it's horrible when you know that you haven't got options and that your child will struggle.
I'm already sick to the back teeth of people (usually family) sharing their opinions, such as :"When she sees she won't get as much help, she'll have to learn to cope" or "Lots of kids don't like going to school, she's not alone" etc.

They won't be the ones dealing with dd's self-harming episodes and panic attacks, will they?
I do believe that our children can achieve so much and adapt to new sitautions, but with the right support. Without that, it's sink or swim.

I wish you and your ds all the best x

I totally agree ... the SENCO in the school he's been assigned actually told me he'd "Toughen up quickly"

Im sorry ASD kids do NOT simply TOUGHEN UP!! it just show's the lack of understanding of the school if that the attitude of the one person at the school who is supposed to support SEN kids.

leiela,

I would not send my son to that school; the SENCO clearly has no understanding. My son is in secondary school and with a statement but some of his peers are not statemented. They, without exception, are having a hard time of it.

You have enough evidence to apply for a statement even though you did not pursue it earlier on. Inform CAMHS you want a diagnosis now; you can undo the mistakes made.

Would put in your request asap for this document to your LEA, such documents can take six months minimum to set up.

I have just phoned the Specialist Nurse at CAMHS and she's just told me that at this point a diagnosis is pointless!!!

The funding has been cut and there are no longer any proffesional's working for them who would be able to give me suport for my son.

ASD parent's are now just expected to "get on with it" !!!!

The best she could suggest was getting involved in some group or going to some seminar's to teach myself about ASD!!

This can't be right can it??!

Sadly, even with a dx, there is very limited support. I hate to sound so cynical, but OT aside, all of the 'professionals' dd has come into contract with have been useless - but that's a whole other story.
We had to go to a private (and excellent) paediatrician after an awful experience with the one dd was originally referred to.

I can totally understand your frustration, it's like hitting a brick wall wherever you turn. The cutbacks really bite hard, too.

I have always firmly believed that we parents are the experts when it comes to our children and ASD. Yes, we can attend course to help us with strategies;etc, but that won't have any bearing on how our dc cope in school, because so much is out of our (and their) control.

I know you must feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment and it's so scary. I really wish I had the answer for you, because I can imagine how stressful this all is for you and your ds. He and my dd sound so similar and it can be hard when they appear to be coping, to the untrained eye.

I've been racking my brains to think of where you could go for advice. Does your LA have an inclusion officer? They may have some advice?

The LA have been nothing but useless. Apparently they offered me a school place that is all they are required to do, if i don't like it it's upto me to find an alternative.

im afraid yes we are unless we really shout and make a big fuss left to get on with it as its all about money and support for my DS has been useless PP in my area are fantastic and cant do enough for you so sorry to hear yours are as much use as a chocolate teapot my son was the same he couldnt cope with the class changes and so many people in such a big place what might happen as i know a couple of people who were basically forced to send their DCs to MS schools was they couldnt cope once they were there and one started refusing to go and the other had big meltdowns at school and then the LA were forced to deal with it the child that started school refusing was given a tutor from the LA for 2 hours 5 days a week till the statement went through the other was in MS school and they placed him at a SS nearby so i think it largly will also depend on whats available in your county neither of those was ideal but they got the right schools eventually, if pp are useless have you tried global mediation they will be interested to help and will deal with the LA for you there freefone number is : 0800 064 4488 there in barnet but cover the whole of the uk and it is a free mediation service hth