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Undiagnosed 4yr old Son. Is anyone dealing with a child with similar delays?

2 replies

yukoncher · 10/05/2011 21:53

I've never met another parent who's in a similar circumstance, I would love to hear anyone elses stories on their child's differences and what theyve been through.
The only parents I meet seem to try and enlighten me with quick fix parenting techniques to address his differences, but he's just not the same as every other child, and as he's gotten older and not improved and even reverted in some ways it's been difficult to accept and always feel like I'm to blame somehow. Anyway, here is how my son is;

My boy, god bless him, was 4 in feb and still can't respond to questions such as 'how old are you'. He seems not to even care about what I'm asking him. There was a short period when he was aged 2 when I was able to teach him his colours and him tell me what they were when I asked him. He forgot that after perhaps a month, and since I've tried several times to teach him and he will happily tell me red is green and then move on and not co-operate. He will only allow me to sing one specific nursery ryhme at bedtime and will repeat no over any other songs or stories I want to tell him. As if he has a mania for one thing for long periods of time. In the past he's memorized entire 20 page books and told me them. But he struggles with very simple communication. I even feel he would struggle with pointing out who is a boy or a girl, although now I think of it i'll try that tomorrow, he'll probably just get distracted.
He's not potty trained, sadly. We've nearly got there a few times, he seems to revert and generally not care at all.
He zones out a lot and will entertain himself for hours.
He has never played with another child. He will look at them breifly, then go back to looking intensly interested in his own play.

I'm so low at the uncertaintly of what his future holds sometimes, there's tal;k of him staying back in nursery an extra year, and we're yet to see a paediatrician.
So if anyone's going/gone through something similar with their child I'd love to hear.

OP posts:
yukoncher · 10/05/2011 21:56

And also I should mention the tantrums, even over someone insistantly trying to talk to him if he doesn't know them, or if I press a button when he wanted to do it, there's pretty theatrical tantrums.

OP posts:
Agnesdipesto · 10/05/2011 22:12

He sounds like my son who has autism and is 4.5. He had a regression in speech, understanding, social and play skills around 2 1/2. He recites books but is not interested in the story. He can't answer questions about age etc. He has limited interest in other people. Language is very confusing for him and his speech is about 2 years behind.

Look at MCHAT and score for symptoms. Also at NAS website and see if things fit.

He should be getting support at nursery eg a speech therapist, an educational psychologist, a specialist teacher coming in.

Don't worry too much about the not learning in a typical way or being interested in typical things. It does not mean he cannot learn. My son sounds similar but is quite bright but has to be taught in a different way eg by using rewards to motivate him and breaking skills down into small parts. He is making good progress now we have good support.

You can refer him to speech therapy yourself (some areas have drop in clinics or just ring up) and ask for it to start asap. You can also ask for an educational psychology assessment (ring council). Also contact the local portage or early years service and ask for support at home and nursery to start now eg a specialist worker who will come and show you how to work with him. Your council should have a parent partnership worker who can help you navigate the system.

You can also look at special schools or units attached to mainstream schools. eg for autism or speech problems.

Talk to the nursery and ask them to contact the area SENCO for advice immediately. Your son should have 1:1 support to help him learn whether it is autism or something else (delay / speech problem) and your council should be funding this.

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