"so do you work?"

[WhoWhoWhoWho]

Well yes I do, I work bloody hard looking after DS so why do I feel like a right loser whenever people ask me this?

I wish I did work - I would have a break, something that was just about me and not about being DS's mum, I would be better off financially etc etc.

Trouble is there is no suitable childcare for ds so it's a bit of a non starter unless I come across a 10-2, term time only job where I can have time off for meetings and appointments.

Sorry for that self indulgent whinge, Feeling a bit fed up!

Know how you feel, I have started saying "Yes I am a full time carer for my child", a doctor did say to me yesterday "....and there is no-one better qualified or more experienced" as an answer, so that made me smile. I do completely know how you feel though. Not self indulgent whinge at all, you need to get it off your chest sometimes!

Yes I may borrow that Sparklerainbow. I have started filling in forms with 'carer' when they ask.

In a previous lifetime (or that's what it feels like) I worked in childcare, and TBH that didn't get me much repsect anyway so it's not like I'm missing much in terms of respect for what I do!

I do miss work though TBH. Maybe when DS is older he will be able to handle childcare.....

I eventually found something - but DD was five before I went back to work, and then it was very very part-time (about 8 hours a week). I now work for a friend who knows my situation and is very indulgent, and again I do about 10 hours a week. It took me a long long time to find something, though, and DD has got easier as she got older.

I started as a sole trader and did it on a very, very part-time basis. Now DS and DD are a bit older and I've just set up a Social Enterprise which has taken me 6 months to do. I have a wonderful DH who works from home and is encouraging me all the way. House generally looks like a tip and due to a lack of services I don't have appointments to attend for DS. I don't do much exercise and any diet has gone to pot. I tend to work around school times, though am managing to be a bit more flexible in the last couple of months. DS is 9 yrs with AS diagnosis. DD is 7 yrs and her eczema is under control. DS goes to Autism Unit attached to mainstream (mainstream really didn't work!) where they have done superb work with him. .

Today life is feeling good, though I need more business and finding the time to work on everything in the business is hard. I pull in lots of family favours. I'm a bit of a juggler as I'm also studying part-time (autism!) As I'm finding it hard to get services for DS, the studying really helps. Somehow it all ties in together most of the time (business is autism related too so it all kind of overlaps).

I sometimes feel embarrassed when I'm asked about a job, but I do prefer not working in truth. I'm actually better off on carer's than I used to be as I was a lone parent on regular income support before DD was dx.

Financially we do OK with her DLA and other various benefits, and claiming tax credits is fairly straightforward. It gives me time to focus on getting her provision and researching therapies, which I know I wouldn't have the time and energy to do if I was spending all her school hours working. For me, looking after her is definitely a FT job.

yep, i feel the same when i tell people that too. Im a single mum on benefits, so people immediately see a dole waller. im not on the dole, im on income support and carers allowance. i hate the 6 monthly interview i have to go to at the job centre, as to the worker there, carer is just an excuse to stay at home doing nothing all day :(

I decided to put my knowledge gained being a carer (and first educator) of my DS to good use and I'm a 1:1 TA for a child with ASD and dyspraxia. It's only 15 hours / week but it fits in around school hours and term time only. Not the job for everyone, I'm sure, but I enjoy it and it keeps me from feeling guilty about the lack of housework.

DS is definitely a full time job, he's still in nappies and still doesn't sleep through which is why I get DLA and carer's which I am extremely thankful for and I manage on my income as is. Working would just bring in slightly more. Whether I would have the energy to work I don't know - sometimes I drop DS off at school and go home to have a bath in peace and a couple of hours uninterrupted sleep!

creatovator - are you studying the OU course in autism by any chance? I have just finished this (and my parent earlybird course) and found it really interesting.

TA jobs here are like hen's teeth, I know several people with all the courses and voluntary experience and there just aren't enough jobs to go around.

I have to say I have had only positive experiences on my 6 monthly drop ins to the job centre, but maybe I have just gotten lucky there!

It is more people I have just met that I feel embarassed to say I don't have a job as they don't know me (if they did they would know I had worked from 14yrs old, and had always worked hard) and they don't know DS. It is definitely an area in which I need to grow a thicker skin!

Yeah, I was lucky to get my first TA job when unqualified, but it was an unpopular behavioural issues 1:1. It didn't faze me after DS! But that experience definitely made it easier to then get another job and get qualified. And home life has got to be more settled. I didn't even try until DS2 was 7 and had improved loads. It's ideal, but obviously very competitive for that reason.

I still put carer as my main occupation, only part-time TA.

WhoWhoWhoWho - No, I'm doing a part-time MSc in Autism and loving it. I've completed the Post-grad diploma which covered all the modules for the MSc and am about to commence on the dissertation. It's tying in with my work as I'm doing it on what some people call Lego Therapy (I prefer to call it the Lego approach). It's one of the things I've started to provide through the social enterprise and a charity I'm working with fairly locally are keen for me to do my research with them. That's where the overlapping all seems to fit nicely.

Not sure how it's all going to work out financially. At the moment I'm not making enough to give myself a salary so am still on Carer's Allowance. I'm hoping that will change soon, though I'm going to watch that we're not financially worse off, so will only pay myself enough to add to CA without going over the threshold, until getting more than that... if that makes sense.

i gladly went along to a careers place that the job centre sent me to. i told the woman mysituation and she was brilliant. i looked at training course but none were suitable times etc.
then i got a 'feedback call' from the big boss. asking if i had a job yet. i told him i wasnt even looking for work. the woman at the job centre had told him i was unemployed. i corrected him :)

lol zzzzz