HELP!! Does anyone have any adive on children with traits of ODD?

[ourlifeisalivinghellatthemo]

DD1 has been a nightmare since he was 18 months. He's recently turned 7 and his behaviour has been getting progressively worse more frequently.

Now don't get me wrong, I love him to bits and it isn't all the time, but since the beginning of Year2 he's been on a behaviour book at school, seen a behaviour therapist, has now been referred to the Ed Psych, Social Workers are involved and we've finally managed to get a referral to a Paediatrician who specialises in behavioural problems via our GP surgery who had previously (since he was kept telling us he was a normal 2 yo, 3yo, etc).

The GP has said he has traits of ODD but is no means a diagnosis.

The last few days he has been better, but this evening we have had total meltdown. The anger and rage boiling up inside him, the hatred in his eyes and the defiant verbal dialogue, together with having things thrown at us and my husband was kicked whist he tried to wash him ready for bed. This outburst began because he didn't want to have a bath!!!!

DS1 is incredibly bright and gets incredicbly frustrated if he gets bored and isn't learning something new. He is in the top group for all his subjects at school and earlier on this school year when he did a test SAT paper, only got 2 answers wrong. We have to keep drip feeding him information and knowledge during school holidays otherwise he gets bored. Getting eye contact from him is also a problem.

We know he referral will take at least 4 weeks, but we were wondering if anyone else was in a similar situation and can offer advice. We are concerned as we have DS2 who is 3 and is at an impressionable age and is trying to copy DS1 as he hero worships him.

Sorry, the opening line shold read DS1!

Bump

I am sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. My ds2 is 11 and has adhd and odd. I am surprised you gp suggested odd before adhd as far as I was aware odd tends to be in older children. It can be extremely hard work with kids like ours. The best advise I can give is to keep firm boundaries. The other thing that you ds will respond to is what I find is to try at praise the good stuff and ignore the bad, this can be extremely hard to do but if done consistently it can work wonders. I probably have some more advise to give but can't quite think at the moment as ds3 was up most of last night and has not long gone to sleep tonight, oh the joys. I will try and think and come back tomorrow.

Thanks for that, any help would be appreciated. He's fine this morning and has gone off to school as happy as larry. We're so confused and hate walking on eggshells around him all the time!

We've had a dreadful week here. DS1 has had sever meltdowns on Monday and Tuesday at school which resulted in internal exclusion on Wednesday and Thursday. These days went remarkably well so it was decided to include him today back into the classroom. Had a meeting with the school this am and had a plan set in place and within 3 minutes of returning to the classroom he was off on one again so much so that by lunchtime I was called to remove him from school. He has now been excluded for the next 2 school days (MoN & Tues). DH has had to take Mon off work and me on Tues as we can't let the childminder deal with this. The school tried to contact SS to update them and ask them to support me this pm when i got home from school and they said it was not within their remit but gave the out of hours phone numbers for the next 4 days! Tried to call my GP regarding the referral. He called back an hour later and has said he will chase up the referral with the specialist.
It was agreed that any bad behaviour within school would be dealt with in school, and we would deal with anything out of school so we let him go to cubs tonight and he's had an outburst there too. It's taken DH 45 minutes to bring him around to talk to us civilly!
Really concerned now as it's frightening to see and DS1 has his SATS at school next week.