A sort of WWYD.... DS doing something wrong.....

[neverputasockinatoaster]

My DS is 6. He is in the process of being assessed for ASD.

This morning he cut his sister's hair. After I'd stopped weeping (it was bum length, strawberry blonde and beautiful... now it is uneven and jagged somewhere around her ears and I am no hairdresser and it's sunday and I work full time .....) I asked why he'd done it.

His answer was that they were playing octonauts and DD was being Kwazi and Kwazi has short hair. Thing is he knew it was wrong. I know he knew it was wrong as they went into his room to cut it and he explained that they'd done that as I might come into the living room and stop him. He used children's craft scissors that we keep in the 'making box'. Obviously the scissors are no longer in the 'making box' and will have to be asked for now.

So, what would you do? he knew it was wrong. He did it anyway. He spent some time in his room while I was trying to put the hair right, or at least make it not look so bad. He has apologised to DD and Oh and I but I can't think how to progress from here. Part of me feels that he needs to be 'punished' but I doubt it would make any difference. Does the 'time out' count as punishment?

I can't ask for family advice as my in laws would want him smacked to within an inch of his life and my mother thinks I'm a rubbish mum anyway. OH thinks that his time out and the fact that I am furious is enough. I feel so ineffectual about this.

I agree with justabout actually. The punishment needs to be at the time of the misdemeanour or its effectiveness is lost. He has had some punishment with the time out and your anger. He can't right the wrong so there is nothing to be done on that score. I think you are just going to have to let it go, hard though it may be.

Whether 'time out' counts as punishment depends on the child really. My two hate it so yes it is punishment for them - I think because they usually want a cuddle when I am cross with them but time out denies them that. For another child it might not be a big deal.

Hope your DD is OK. Must have been a bit of a shock for her too!

DD is OK. She is not innocent in this as she let him do it. In fact it might have been worse if he hadn't caught her skin and she cried!

I sort of felt there was nothing else that could be done and that being in his room, which he was then made to tidy, was punishment enough but I also sort of felt that if I talk about it at work tomorrow then the feeling will be that it wasn't enough! I just need to rememeber not to talk about ti at work!

How old is your DD? I hope she is too young to care much!

Don't worry about the office - you have done all you can, plus, you have made sure that he won't do it again but removing the scissors. 6 is a difficult age, especially with ASD in the mix. Too young to effectively dock their pocket money, it is probably too late to take away any treats or privelages and even if you did, would he be able to link their loss with what he did to his sister's hair? If you don't think they will get that, don't tell them but I wonder what else they can expect you to do!

No advice, you've done all you can, but lots and lots of (((hugs))). I would have still been in tears. (Perhaps I'm a bit pathetic) At least it will grow back, eventually. I can remember when my DS was swung around by his friend and chipped a huge bit off his new front tooth. More upset than angry.