My ds (just turned 5) has always been challenging. He's currently having a full assessment done by CAMHS (whatever that means). He had a rocky start to school life and by Christmas he started refusing to go to school. After Christmas it started to escalate but I could always get him in the car so I could always get him to the school. School were never helpful and rarely sent someone out to the car to help. By the February half term he was kicking off from the moment he got into the car and then for 2 hours in the staffroom. He was very unhappy in school and school were obstructive at best, negligent at worst. We moved him to a new school at the Febuary halfterm and it was all fantastic. He settled in straight away and with the school support the number of tantrums in the evenings because of school issues started to subside. We got to the Easter holidays feeling that things certainly had improved.
Over the holidays he was a right nightmare at home. His behaviour was beyond challenging and he ended up in A&E and we ended up with a referal to OT to help with safety at night. OT came out and saw the most horrendous behaviour (hitting / kicking / throwing none stop). She also observed the dangerous to himself behaviour of throwing himself head first off things. She said she'd phone camhs and tell them what she observed but thought that there was something major going on with him that was diagnosable and wasn't bad parenting.
We struggled through the holidays including our 1st abroad trip which was something I'm not sure I want to ever experience again. His behaviour on the way home was beyond the pail. It took 2 of us to control him in the airport and I gave up keeping his clothes on him.
He started back at school and this worse 'holiday' behaviour just continued in school and over the course of the 1st week just got worse and worse. Come Thursday he was horrendous in school. He ended up in a heap of trouble and I was informed. Thursday evening he was contrite and tired so I thought its all blown up now so hopefully it'll all settle back down.
Friday morning was diabolical. He spread poo all over his room 
. He's never done anyhting like that before. He's wee'd deliberatly all over the bathroom before but never spread poo around anywhere. He came to tell me he'd done it, laughing about it . I didn't even believe him and sent him to get dressed and continued dealing with dd. Once I had dd packed off to school I went to his bedroom and he had in fact spread poo everywhere 
. I cleared it up and then went and told him (he was downstairs by this point) to take away a star from his star chart and get his shoes and coat on. All going fine. Running bit late due to the poo taking me time but nothing I was worried or rushing him for.
Got half way to school and he just out of the blue started screaming that I must turn the car round cos he wasn't wanting to go to school today. I of course refused and this tantrum got bigger and bigger. I decided to park in the staff carpark as I was worried about safety with him on side of the road. I couldn't begin to get him out of hte car. He was going ballistic. He's actually really hurt my wrist through kicking and hitting me and I think I'm going to have to go to the dr on Monday. Eventually I went to get help and the class teacher came out. She was brilliant and we eventually managed to get him calmly into school after about 20mins. When I came to leaving he flipped and tried to run off but the teacher was great. I worried all day because at the old school ds had actually managed to get out of school but he didn't and apparently was fine all day apart from incidents in the playground at break.
I can't take much more of this behaviour. He's beyond anything I can manage. We have no control now. He's in control. I never want to clean up poo from around a room again but then last night he decided to wee all over his room and it now stinks. He's been a nightmare today running off all the time and screaching. And I'm now dreading tomorrow morning when I have to get him to school. At the old school once there was 1 school refusal that was it, it was nearly all the time.
We have no idea where we're going with CAMHS although they're coming tomorrow for us to fill in questionaires. I don't even know if they're thinking about a dx or even if they can dx. What I do know is we can't cope now. I'm going to go to the gp about my wrist tomorrow and beg for something (and I don't know what).
The only thing that has improved recently is his sleep. His weighted blanket has made a MASSIVE difference and now he's sleeping much better but as a result it seems his behaviour is 100times worse.