concerned about my little one

[saladsandwich]

i'm new here, this might be a long post and i apologise but i'm worried about my son, he is 2yrs 4months and he has has no end of problems, some seem relatively minor but i can't help thinking that they all link together and i jut have no clue what to do, i'll list all his niggles i'm just hoping someone can read this and give advice, my hv as refered us for a caf meeting and a full assessment by a peadiatrician
i'll start with health issues:
born at 37weeks 7lb 2oz, cephal heamatoma, really bad jaundice (required 3 lights) poor feeder, colic, reflux, hydrocele, metopic ridge and flat head, UTI, low immune system, recurrent boils, allergy to red fruit, constipation but eats plenty of fruit and veg and fibre. there maybe more but thats all i can think of at the moment

behaviour and development:
smiled 7weeks, sat unaided 5months, rolled 9months, crawled 10months, walked/ran 12months, pointing/clapping/waving ect 16months(maybe later), talking - he is just starting to use single words at 28months, he has around 50 last month he had 10, social interactions, imo are abit off, he seems overly social, extreemly friendly to most adults even strangers he will think nothing of hugging strangers then sometimes he is very anxious of strangers, smiles when he does something wrong, shoves other kids alot, he is obsessed with cars likes pushing them and watching the wheels go round, ould watch top gear all day if i let him. major issues with potty training, physically he can do it, taps when he needs a wee/poo but he will pee on my carpet smiling after being dry for a week, he cannot pull pants up and down yet, he hates being undressed/dressed. he also screams for no reason, struggles with cutlery, tantrums for nothing, head bangs, hates anything on his hands altough he is improving.

he is very good at jigsaws, physically he is very good with some stuff like walking up and down stairs he is great, he knows a few colours, i have a feeling he nows his numbers, he can only say the number 2 though so not sure, he loves books, he likes older children, he likes tidying things, obsessed with stuff being empty or shut

he has really concerned me today though, i caught him bitting the back of his hand, not hard but still :( xx

Hopefully the wait for the paed shouldn't be too long.

This is the hardest bit. Coming to terms with the fact your DS may have SN.

It does get better. Much better.

I would guess they'll be assessing him for ASD or other developmental problems.

How long do you have to wait for the paed? Waiting is the hardest part for me

hi, i have no idea how long i'm going to be waiting... to look at him though you'd think he's just a regular kid and the amount of people who say "he's just a boy" makes me question myself whether it's me seeing things that aren't there or making mountains out of mole hills, i have accepted there is probably a problem with him i just wish i knew what i could do to help him... i hate this waiting too

thankyou for the replies its just so hard xx

We have all been there.

Start reading threads on here and you will quickly start to know the kind of things you can do to help him.

A dx doesn't bring very much help. You need to be proactive and work out things for yourself.

But a dx makes it easier to know what things might help.

Waiting time for 1st appt with paeds is normally not too long. Govt targets and all that.

as the others are saying anything you want to ask not much probably we have not hear of or seen my sons moderate ASD and is now 11yo so been through most stuff very long haul though paed appointment was within weeks and we had to go through another dx reciently and was still pretty quick the whole process from ref to dx took about 3/4 months but i hear from most of the MNrs they had to wait a lot longer depends where you live and who you go through to get the dx its what happens after the dx that takes a long time the referals and the waiting for therapies (if ) your lucky enough they are available or you can pay for some of them and then theres statementing and dla they cant be time consuming and drawn out but whatever the question or support we will all be here 24/7 to answer and help with whatever we can so try very hard not to stress and a huge good luck

I just want to say on the more reassuring side that, though it sounds from the information above that your son has quite a language and communication delay relative to his motor deveopment, it is really good that there has been such progress with words in the last month. It sounds like words are really taking off.

Many people on here recommend "It takes two to talk". As it sounds like language and communication are much more delayed than other areas of development but are going through a rapid phase of expansion at the moment, this might be something worth investing in to give you something to focus on through this difficult time of waiting and not knowing what to do?

How are his play skills other than cars/jigsaws? Has he got teddies/dolls/cups/saucers/food and stuff like that? Any interest in any play that is imitative e.g. sweeping, washing up, brushing a dolly's hair etc? It may be that he has zero interest in this but I am aware that a lot of boys don't always have these toys in their houses so you may not know? These toys are sometimes easier to model language based play than cars (if the child has interest, no good if they don't). Just wondering as he's interested in tidying e.g. you could show him what to do and model the right language forms: sweep the floor, splash!, wash/scrub/rinse the cup, wash/scrub/rinse the plate, dry the cup, dry the plate, plate away, cup away, in the drawer, open the cupboard, close the cupboard, expanding and adding language to what he is already doing etc. We have a toy kitchen here in my house - the main focus of play for my toddler is taking things out of the cupboards and then putting them back in/opening and shutting doors. We model drinking and eating as well and I have just bought him a lot of toy food so we can practice putting that into fruit/veg/food containers to make it a bit more interesting/like "real play". There's a great little toy microwave that has a light and rotates and actually pings in ToysRUs called "Just like home" which is great for opening and shutting.

Building on the tidying theme, categorisingthings into boxes might be good for him, too? Plastic see through boxes for different categories of toys - transport, food, dollies, books etc. You could make a game out of tidying them and while you do, you can model the words e.g. train in, dolly in, apple in, book in etc. Use his interest in things being empty and shut as a motivational tool - empty out the boxes, then tidy up, then make a big deal of shutting them. Anything to keep communicating!

It is good he is pushing cars.. is he making any noises? Modelling noises and simple play with cars e.g. in a garage "up the ramp", "down the ramp", "park the car", "vroom vroom", "crash" might help while showing him what to do..

All of this, by the way, is only if he's interested and you can do it alongside him and without a battle... just something low key to support you while you wait for more information and support.

Hope it makes some sense!

Gosh, it's great to have a SALT on the board! Do you think the Hanen book 'More Than Words' would be better than 'It Takes Two to Talk' or is it better to stick with the non DX specific one? It's just that they are quite expensive. Winslow Press seems to be the cheapest source, cheaper than Amazon. I had 'More than Words' and found it really useful for the sensory info as well as the SALT.

I would be inclined to start with "It takes two to talk" in this case.

No one can really tell where a child is at from a pen portrait online, least of all me! But some of what's being said here suggests to me that this little boy's language development may just be about the 18 month mark (e.g. 50 words) and some of his play fits in with this (the tidying/emptying things out/interest in shutting things). His social/communication side seems to be about this stage too (not aware of the social boundaries/clingy). As his motor development is more advanced, some of the behaviour and sensory difficulties may reflect that he is a bit frustrated at the moment... but it's hard to tell, for obvious reasons - I can't see him! And there's a lot more that I would need to know, I'm just going on the words as they are on the screen and the general "impression" I get. A full assessment would reveal an awful lot more and I am very pleased that this is hopefully on the cards for you *saladsandwich".

I hope it doesn't scare you for me to say that. A ten month delay may sound very serious but it's hard to know - there's a wide range of "normal" in this age group. You are right to be chasing it up and you don't need me to tell you that some of this is a bit concerning.. your instinct as a mother is worth more than anything any professional or person in real life or online can tell you about your sn.

What's good is that if he is delayed to this extent, the rate of progress from clapping/pointing etc to single words and single words to nearly 50 words sounds positive e.g. it sounds like he was very slow to get going (and it is worrying when pointing is quite late), but it is picking up some pace (e.g. 0 to 50 in 4 months is quite good, if you think that typically it takes 6 months for a toddler to go from 0 to 50).

So it may just be that general language stimulation through play is the right thing for your little boy. If it's not, and he needs a more structured, behavioural approach, that will become clear if the other stuff doesn't work. The behavioural concerns may drop off if language, communication and play explodes. Or they may not.

I am crossing my fingers and toes for you!

hi thank you ever so much for your kind and helpful replies, i would have replied sooner but my little one has just had a weekend in hospital with yet another skin infection :(

he has started stringing 2 words together today and yesterday, he now has a word count of 58... SALT have given him some work, they've given him the first word usbourne books and will be seeing him 4 times this year, i must say their advise and help has been excellent, we are doing match and stretch at the moment if that means anything to anyone.

his behaviour worries me more than the language, today he has head butted me and burst my lip, he constantly runs, at the hospital he didn't want to play with the toys he just wanted to run round the ward and he was quite poorly too, his energy levels are just exhausting, i went to pick him up from his nursery today and he screamed because he didn't want to leave, it's heart breaking when he doesn't want to come home. getting dressed is an almighty battle he hates clothes being taken on and off, he is worse with t shirts, he will not leave the house wthout a coat on and it must be zipped.

the toys he does have a tea set but he isn't bothered by it much, he has a doll, he says baby to it and will point at all its body parts down to the eye brows, finger nails ect, he has a basket of pretend fruit and will pretend to bite certain ones, he will clean things if you ask him to, he only likes singing one song...

i'm still waiting on the peadiatrician, think i'll ring the health visitor this week see when she sent the referral off xx

It's exactly around the 50 word mark that children are supposed to start combining words so this fits with what I said before that, after a slow start, he is now going at a good rate. His play is at about the same level too.. glad you have had advice that you are happy with. Good luck!