So basically, school want ds to come in full time because he probably won't cope

[emkana]

while I want to keep him part time for the same reason. they want the point to be proven that full time he wouldn't get on as well as he does, so the ed psych etc can be told. But I want to keep school a happy experience for him while I still can.

What is the point of what the school are saying? Do they want to get him extra help if he did go full time or do you think they want to move him ?

Move him where?

I think they want to get the full picture of ds's situation so that plans can be made.

Horrid choice. Does the school think it's the only way to prove to the EP that he should get statutory assessment kicked off? It might be a case of putting up with the upset for the greater good? Would it be worth a try or do you think it would be too upsetting for your DS. I wouldn't want to risk a school phobia starting, but if it's more a case of the school not being able to cope with him than the other way around. It does sound like it's setting him up to fail. Is there an easier way? Have the school requested statutory assessment? Or have you? It's getting hard to get EP involvement unless there's a major problem, especially if it's the school that requests it.

I can see both sides to this. as on the one hand your DS should be entitled to a full time education, same as any other child. But on the other hand if you think it's not in your DS' best interest to do more hours and would be bad for him emotionally then as a parent you are naturally going to be v. wary. Do school propose to give him any extra support if he does more hours, or just hoping that if it all goes tits up the lea will have to provide more support?

I like your phrase 'I want to keep school a happy experience for him'. Maybe base your discussions with school around that basic healthy expectation.

Can you agree ONLY if they supply some full-time support whilst he is there. They can collect evidence on what they have to do for him to keep him on an even keel!?

Thanks for your thoughts. Ds has a physical disability (dwarfism), but there are other issues which so far go undiagnosed. The school want him to do full time so that they can find out how big his problems really are. I find it more and more difficult to stand my ground because in the time that he is there he isndoing okay, so they say why not try it. Funnily enough the senco is kind of on my side.

TC, there are no plans of any extra support, just like you say the hope that if it all goes wrong the LEA will step in.

Today was one of the days when ds goes full time. He was horrendous after school, I find it very hard to cope when he's like this. I'd rather look at flex-schooling in year one than going full time every day.

I would try to stand your ground although I know it's hard. Just because he copes well when he is in at the moment, doesn't mean he'd cope full-time. You know him - you're his mum and you can see the results of the full days. If you don't think he'd cope (and nor do they) then he more than likely won't, and school will become a negative experience for him.

As an ex-teacher I can see their point of view in a way: that, unless he's been proven not to cope, no support can be provided for him in school. However, surely at the moment you're actually providing support for him at no cost to the school/LA in that you are being a 1 to 1 'support' at home?

What days/part days does he do at the moment?

He goes all day on a monday and friday, till lunchtime on the other days

Although he went all day yesterday too? Sounds like he's doing really well. I guess the next step would be to collect after lunch instead of before on one or more days. Then once settled with that, collect at afternoon break one day, etc. However, if you feel he'll be put off by going more, more harm than good may come from it, in which case stick to your guns.

Sorry meant monday and thursday

In my experience and opinion a child who has been put off school doesn't learn as well as a child who is keen and motivated, even if the motivated child spends less time in the classroom.