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SN children

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Original poster

I want a friend

28 replies

hanaka88 · 03/05/2011 20:05

I want a friend who I can talk to about DS... A friend that doesn't always go to play areas that I can't attend, a friend who doesn't 'feel bad' complaining about her DCs as my 'experiences are worse'

I need a friend who understands an who won't tell me to 'just say no'

I need a friend... Anyone else feel like this sometimes? I feel alone 99% of the time.

OP posts:

sleepyhorse · 03/05/2011 20:15

Hi Hanaka, Sorry to hear you feel so alone. I feel your pain as thats how I feel right now - sending you a huge hug :-)

What is wrong with your DS?

Original poster

hanaka88 · 03/05/2011 20:24

Dunno Hun back story is long, he regressed at 3.5 after being extremely bright. He now has ASD apparently but they did tests for neurodegenerate disorder, they came back clear but now they are saying they are still not happy and he will need 'more invasie tests' urgh.

I wanna run away with him I'm sick o people telling me he has ASD but on top of that we might loose him, in a teacher till June, I worke my ass off to get that far after having DS aged 18 an now I have to quit and take on a TA role because of DSs care, I love him I don't care about the job really I just want to keep him.

Loads of horrible things going on ATM. Think I just want someone in my life who I can talk to properly

OP posts:

Original poster

hanaka88 · 03/05/2011 20:25

Sorry v poor spelling there and typos :(

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 03/05/2011 20:59

Hanka - I'll be your friend :)

I'll start by sending you a hug......

PM me if you want.

Marne · 03/05/2011 21:07

, i know the feeling, i dont know many mums in RL with children like mine (ASD), it gets very lonley, if it wasn't for the internet and the lovely people on here i don't know how i would cope. I had to give up work to look after the dd's there was no way i could hold down a job with all the appointments ect..., so now i dont really have many friends, no adult convo and other parents tend to avoid us.

We are here if you need a chat xx

zzzzz · 03/05/2011 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

hanaka88 · 03/05/2011 21:14

Thanks everyone, he was very vague about the tests he said he would talk to his collegues and call me... To be fair I hate hearing baby talk because my DS used to be just like them. I wanna be normal too and brag about firsts but DS hasn't had a first for years now. I don't know how I would cope without this forum.

It has been awful recently after the paed said 'his tests are fine so he has ASD but just keep an eye on his progress' then his neurologist said 'no he has made no progress I'm not happy he needs more invasive tests'

What is the muscle biopsy? Thanks for PM invites I wouldn't know how to start conversations though

OP posts:

zzzzz · 04/05/2011 11:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Becaroooo · 04/05/2011 13:05

I'll be your friend

I know that, without MN and the friends I have made on here, I would be completely alone wrt my concerns about ds1.

I cant pretend that I understand what you are going through with your ds BUT I am always around to listen and tell you rubbish jokes to try and cheer you up

(To PM someone you need to click on the envelope icon at the top of your MN page and go from there..)

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission · 04/05/2011 13:18

see, this is why I like it here Rl friendships are hard to start when you have so much going on in your head, keep an eye out for the friday night thread if you just want to chat.

if you want to pm, either do as becaroo says or click on 'message poster' on the line with the posters name on.

how long ago did you see the neuro? Can you give them a ring to chase, waiting is horrible.

zzzzz · 04/05/2011 13:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Becaroooo · 04/05/2011 13:37

ahem....

Q: What do you call an explosive monkey??
A: A Babooom!

Becaroooo · 04/05/2011 13:39

Q: What's green and goes 100 mph?
A: A frog in a blender

(ds1's fave joke!)

Q: What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A: A Wonkey

Seriously, people, I could go on all day!

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission · 04/05/2011 13:49

lol, fantastic ds1 will love the explosive monkey one, it'll be new to his repertoire of crap jokes

personally I'm crap at jokes, never remember them properly so just get lots of looks! Dd2 went through a stage of making her own jokes up, the punch line was always . . . wait for it . . . chicken curry she thought it was hysterical anyway

zzzzz · 04/05/2011 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Becaroooo · 04/05/2011 14:34

hahahahaha...thats genius zzzz I am taking that one!

Original poster

hanaka88 · 04/05/2011 16:21

Thanks everyone! Haha love the jokes. It sounds like something he would mean but he was very vague, probably because I tend to panic about things a lot. I saw him on the Tuesday before Easter but he said because of all the holidays it may take him a while, I got an unknown number call while at work today but no message :( I hate those! But the house phone hasn't been called today (1471 checks frequently)

did the muscle biopsy affect walking after at all? I'll google it later.

I know noone can truely understand anyone elses positions but at the moment it's like noone wants to talk to me in case it upsets me. At work people moan about their kids doing bad things (toddler issues like sleep, tantrums etc) but when i come in they go really vague. Someone said once she feels guilty moaning because I have it harder but you wanna be normal sometimes don't you?

I can't talk to mums of toddlers like they can even though DS is at their level because he is older and I can't talk to mums of reception children as their kids are so much more advanced!

OP posts:

Becaroooo · 04/05/2011 17:51

It is very isolating at times....other babies/kids were doing things that ds1 just couldnt do.....and even now in year 3 he is very behind wrt literacy.

I know its upsetting for you but at least your friends/colleagues are trying to not upset you (admittedly in a very patronising way)...I had "friends" who delighted in pointing out the - very obvious! - differences in what their dc and ds1 could do

(They are no longer my friends!!! )

Are there any local SN groups that meet up near you??? I think you may be able to find one through MN?? (vague, sorry) Also, do you have a good relationship with you HV? Perhaps she knows of other parents in a similar situation??

Sorry, not being much help, am I?

Another joke????

zzzzz · 04/05/2011 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

hanaka88 · 05/05/2011 05:17

No I work full time and all groups seem to be in the week (not that I have found any SN groups)
there is a new little boy who started school who is in a maclarins major... I am sad to have thought 'please talk to me' when I saw his mum walk past aren't I? Haha.

Glad the walking is fine. What were your results? Hope they were good news x

OP posts:

dottyp82 · 05/05/2011 13:41

i feel the same. i'll be your friend :)

pm me if you like

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 05/05/2011 13:46

Please do talk to that other mum. For all you know she might be feeling just like you. The worst that can happen is she might not be ready to be friends with anyone. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and if your DS doesn't have visible difficulties she won't know you're a sympathetic ear.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 05/05/2011 13:49

I've had that awkward conversation in the past, 'Oh, has your lovely daughter got Downs? My son is autistic! Do you fancy a coffee sometime?' Then they look like you're completely mad! But they usually do come for a coffee.

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission · 05/05/2011 14:03

do you have any childrens centres near you? Some of the ones here run things on a saturday morning, even if it's just once a month.

ellens suggestion sounds good, even if you don't want to talk to her yet you could start with a smile as you pass.

there's also your mumsnet local bit on here, another mum on here recognised me via that or if you wanted to post your vague location someone may be nearby.

auntevil · 05/05/2011 17:14

Good idea Ninja
What is your vague location hanaka, and then if anyone is local to there, they can pm you with a closer location?

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