Feeling Bad

[asdx2]

I do do my best to be calm and reasoned with ds because he learns better that way and I don't often slip up even if sometimes I could scream with frustration.

Last night I slipped up I went up to bed just after midnight, later than usual because I don't feel like I am getting a break from the kids at the minute and so wanted some space.

At midnight ds seems to get a burst of energy so I went through, reminded him of the need to be quiet because I was going to bed and managed to drop off after reading for a short while.

At 1.30am he woke me up so I went through reminded him again and went back to bed and did the same at 2.20am.

At 3.40am I'm woken by a load of noise on the landing, jumped out of bed to discover ds has decided to empty a toy box that he has found in the cupboard, sorted what he wanted and was dumping the rest on the landing.

I am ashamed to say I raised my voice and told him to get to his room, and get in bed because if he made one more sound I would be removing the laptop, the PS3 and his dvd's.

Ds went to his room I went back to bed but couldn't sleep (have insomnia anyway) because I knew I'd not handled it well.

He's up this morning like a bear with a sore head but also with the big eyes that invoke sympathy from everybody especially when he keeps repeating "mutt's (his pet name for me) upset me"

I'm shattered today and feeling bad, have loads of stuff I should be doing but too tired to do it and no chance of a nap because dh and ds1 and ds2 at football and dd1 out with friends so I've got ds3 and dd2 this afternoon.

OH ASDx2 , you shouldn't beat yourself up. I actually think you did the right thing as an autistic kid needs to be shown that it is not ok to wake whole family up/start playing at 3am. With my boy, words don't hack it, but he does understand the angry face/voice combo.

I shout at my kids all the time, and so do most mums (those who don't are usually lying, or doing that - worse imho - passive aggressive mothering thing!)

Don't beat yourself up - my one foolproof technique for getting my DS back to sleep when he wakes up in middle of night is to shout "get into your bed, lie down and go to sleep".

I know it's not in any parenting books, but my theory is that if I let off steam it is better for my stress levels. And at 3 am, you are allowed to be annoyed at being woken up for the third time!. A stressed mum is no good for any part of the family!

It is also better for him to get back to sleep, and sometimes shocking him into lying still is the only thing that works as his autism means he doesn't understand what NF kids do , that "if I lie still and quiet, I will eventually get back to sleep". My boy has only two modes - asleep and awake!

Try and doze on the sofa while keeping one eye open?

Must admit melatonin has been our saviour, or (when he has a cold, as now) Medised.

Oh Sick he'd not been to bed at midnight just busy in his room, bedtime is usually around 4am.
I normally go up at 10pm to grab a couple of hours whilst dh entertains ds downstairs. Then I can cope with the midnight til 4am jolly and sleep 4am til 6am so long as dd doesn't decide to have an early morning.
But with them off school I'm not getting a break so put dd to bed and decided to watch TV downstairs for a while.
Three more days and then school so at least then I get some space during the day.

That sounds like Chinese water torture, asdx2. I can't think of many people who wouldn't have been throttling him raising their voice at that time of night. Explaining calmly is probably best but it's all very well if they are ignoring all the calm explanations. Sometimes they just have to know you mean business. Noise in the early hours is unacceptable and even when they can't sleep and aren't thoughtful enough to think of other people, it's got to be ingrained that they are quiet. You can always apologise for shouting if you think it was unreasonable, but make sure that he understands that the message still stands.

That is just an awful situation ASDx2 - is he old enough for melatonin, as your family can't carry on like that! Many GPs will prescribe i t.

I have said sorry for raising my voice (didn't shout so as not to wake the others) and again gone through the rules that are on his door. He's sulking which he will do and dd is comforting him and telling me naughty mummy for upsetting ds which is great. But at least the football is on TV so that will distract him and I've set dd some art stuff up so I can at least chill on MN.
Melatonin and sedatives don't work here unfortunately.

Sick he's 16 and always been the same, never slept melatonin doesn't touch him sedatives make him hyper. He's on prozac which they hoped might sedate him a bit but not an even a yawn from him anyway.

I know Pipin it's those big brown eyes they bore into my very soul. I don't think I'm supermum just got a good helping of patience and tolerance I think. If I was super mum I wouldn't have a long list of stuff that needs doing now would I?

Sorry, asdx2, I cross posted with you and didn't know how much you normally deal with. I'm even more convinced it's torture now!

God asdx2, DS wakes up every now and then around 3pm and I shout at him to keep him quiet until at least 6pm. He talks a lot but stays in bed, I can't imagine how you cope. Once a week is absolute limit for me!!! I stopped feeling guilty long time ago about shouting, but I have to say it works.

Sorry, wanted to type oh god.

Well maybe the shock from me not being so calm and reasoned worked or maybe he remembered the rules. Either way he was lovely and quiet last night so I am very happy today, as is ds with the small bar of Dairy Milk that he got as a reward.

asdx2- glad you had a better night. I raise my voice under far less trying circumstances- i'm amazed that you manage to keep your cool with that degree of sleep deprivation. And if it happens so rarely, it may well have made an impression on your ds so that he stayed in bed for longer last night. Nothing whatsoever to feel bad about.