How can i make him aware of stranger danger.

[Hethbell]

my DS is 11yrs (still un-Dx but probable Aspie) and i have started letting him walk home from school. We live in the country and he walks over footpaths on open ground so i can see him from the window for some of the journey. He goes to school in a small village so everyone local knows him but the other day i saw him walking with a stranger. After having a minor heart attack i watched him and he came home ok. After discussing, yet again, stranger danger he seems oblivious to the potential danger. I want to encourage independence but how can i make him aware of stranger danger. My DH feels you have to let him go through these experiences and in reality there are very few "baddies" out there. Any books etc out there as he loves to learn through story telling.

I don't know any books, but have you tried doing a few social stories? Or maybe making up your own that has him as a hero, maybe "saving" someone from a stranger, or helping someone follow rules about not talking to grown ups that you don't know?

I'm nowhere near this stage with DS2 yet, so my advice might not be much help, but at least it's bumping your thread!

People on the autism spectrum can have huge difficulties telling friend from foe. I do, and I'm an adult and should know better. For me, everyone is a friend. Can't help it - that's how my brain registers people. I trust everyone, which is a big big problem sometimes and has indeed gotten me into situations which are very serious for me.

Prof Tony Attwood, one of the world experts, says that people on the autism spectrum desperately need to be with a safe group of individuals they can trust. The reality is that we may never get as good as other people at spotting who's dangerous. Maybe the knack is to get us to learn really good rules for what is safe behaviour and what isn't. And what it's ok to share and what isn't. And what's ok to lend to people and what isn't. Plus a list of people who are the exceptions to that rule.

I don't want anyone to think all strangers are monsters, so it's hard to make us aware of 'stranger danger' without panicking us completely. I know that after I was taught that lesson as a child, I ran away from our lovely neighbours and hid (after they'd offered me a sweet, as they usually did), because I misunderstood the rule and thought it meant anyone who wasn't a friend or a member of family and who offered sweets was going to kidnap and attack me. Even though I'd known them all my life and they were totally trustworthy. I could have done with a much better list of rules.

Thanks for the replies especially amberlight i will keep plugging away at a list and try and make things more "black &white" for him.

We have been going through this with Dd3 for some time she is 8 and probably has As but no Dx at the moment.

She will talk to adults that she doesn't know but not children..

We want to let her go to the children's play area when we are camping, we have to remember to tell her every time she goes off to play not to talk to adults that she doesn't know.

The problem is that when we stay somewhere for more than a couple of days and she sees the same people she begins to recognise them and then thinks that she knows them.

It is really hard, I would agree about social stories if your Ds will co operate [my Dd3 won't] or try our method of constant reminders of what a stranger is and not to talk to adults that they don't know.

good luck.

I found social stories to be extremely effective when explaing various relationships to a person with AS. The circle of trust gives a visual representation of peoples relationship to him. If it's a stranger he/she will not be in one of your circles of trust and you will not be in theirs. It seems to work well.

On another note, if your in the west midlands i found Autism West Midlands run a lot of training that can be useful to mums of children with AS.

So, was it just blatant advertising that got all the other posts deleted?