Statementing and secondary school worries.

[nickminiink]

Hi, we are currently going through the statementing process as my son's progress is slow and he is so far behind his peers, so worried for him when he moves up to secondary school in a years time and the help he will need to cope. The one thing that is stable in his life is his friends he has a good group of mates who accept my son despite his lack of communication skills and it helps him and more importantly he is happy with them. By going down the statementing route could he be withdrawn from the secondary school in our town where all his mates will go to, if they can not provide the help he will need stated in the statement or is this still our choice. I am just worried he could get seperated from his friends he has known for 7 years by having to go to another school miles away and he will hate us for that. I only want to help him not upset him or for him to resent us.
Sorry if this is a stupid question, my head is so full of appointments, meetings and things to do I am going abit stir crazy and guess I need some reassurance as lately I am so stressed and anxious over my son's future. I know I am a long way away and probably won't get the statement but this is important for my son knowing he will have his friends with him.
Thanks

With a statement you get to choose the school he goes to, regardless of the other admissions criteria ( ie you can choose a school that you are not near to)

No question on here is daft.

Have you spoken to the proposed secondary school about your DS and whether they feel they could meet his needs with a Statement in place?. Establish a relationship with these people, at the very least meet the SENCO. Do not think you won't get the statement!. How far are you btw along the statementing process?.

My son is in secondary school and with a statement.

What happened in our case is that a couple of his friends from his primary school class were placed with DS in his Y7 class (this was decided at the Annual Review in Y6. I had no say on who was finally placed with him although I named some children). This helped DS a lot also with the transition from primary to secondary (along with lots of visits to the new school).

Focus your energies currently on obtaining the Statement then at the Annual Review state your case for your DS to be placed with a couple of his closest friends in his new class.

The Statementing process will help decide if the Secondary school of your choice can meet your son's needs and therefore if it is best for his education.
I understand what you are saying about wanting him to stay with friends he has known for 7 years, but what you also have to remember is that Secondary school operates very differently from primary school and if he is a long way behind his peers then he may not be with his friends much in the day anyway as they may well be streamed academically. Appreciate he will be able to meet up with them at break and lunch but friendships do change at 'big' school, so try not to focus too much on this as the deciding factor.

My DS went to a different Secondary school to most of his peers in primary school and in spite of his SN seems to have made new friends. However at weekends/holidays it is one of his old primary school friends (who now goes to a different school) that he sees - so it is possible to maintain friendships even if they split up for school.

IMO finding the school that best meets your sons needs is more important as it will make both his and your life easier. If he is sociable he will soon make new friends at a different school - even though he may not see it that way at the moment!

Good luck with all the meetings and the whole statementing process!

My DS is going to secondary in Sept (he has a statement) and I had to make the hard decision not to send him to the high achieving comp that nearly everyone in his class goes to. After visiting it and talking to the SENCo it was bloody obvious that they were doing their level best to put me off. They had very few DC with statements or ASD (his DX) due mainly, I believe, to their attitude. Their v high league table position was their main priority, and this was being maintained by having only 0.5% of their children with statements.

I was gutted, as it had always been assumed that he would go there. We nearly moved to be close to this high achieving comp! How glad are we that we didn't! However it made me look elsewhere and I have found that there are 2 comps in the town that have great reputations for SEN and appear to be very inclusive. A completely different attitude. It's still really hard that he will lose all those tolerant and lovely 'friends' from primary, but 3 others are going to his secondary, and will be put in his tutor group, which is the normal ratio anyway.

Your local school may be ideal, but check it out. If it's fine, you get to put it on his statement. Local schools are generally cheaper for the LA so they won't argue with you. Doubt that the LA will force you to choose a more expensive option! If everything else is just about equal then local school with friends is a good reason to choose it. Just make sure it will meet your DS's needs first.

Thank you all for your replies, you have put my mind at ease. We are due to meet with the secondary school in the next few weeks before the summer, they are coming in to have a meeting with the head of SEN, so fingers cross they can meet my son's needs, they seem pretty pro-active more so than my sons primary school. I live in a small town with only one sceondary school, we would have travel an hour to the city secondary schools, so I am hoping they will be able to support my son. Also I like the idea of him walking to school with his mates and not having a long journey every day. As for the statementing process, we have only 3 weeks ago applied for stat assessment so we are only at the beginning of the process, I am hoping to have things sorted when he starts secondary in 11/2 years time, as I know I have along way to go and I am sure alot of disappointment and stress along the way.
Thanks again