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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Any ideas on dd walking to school alone welcome

13 replies

yanny · 27/04/2011 10:42

Morning all! I haven't posted for a while but hoping for some ideas here.

Dd was 11 in Jan and has dyspraxia and waiting for a report to confirm NVLD (nonverbal learning disorder). In short she can't go out alone as she gets lost easily and she wears an ID band. I need eyes in the back of my head as she is always wandering off, always in shops and then gets lost. This makes her panic and usually she will just run in any random direction. The ID band hasn't been used yet and she has been lost twice since having it. We are still working on Lost->Stop->Look->ShopWorker->IDband.

Dd has been asking to walk to school alone for a while now. Over the Easter break we did the walk to school a lot. It only takes about 10 mins, involves crossing with 3 lollipop people and is pretty much one long road with a few bends. First attempt this morning I walked her to the first crossing and she got teary and anxious so I walked her to the next crossing. It ended with me having to walk her to the school gate and trying to calm her down. I expect today will be difficult now. She went in upset because she didn't do any of the walk alone and I came home wondering what to do. Over the past few months she has really been desperate to walk to school alone. Any ideas?

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 27/04/2011 10:53

If she really wants to do it, then that is a great first step.

Could you try walking a bit behind her as a step towards her walking alone?

amberlight · 27/04/2011 10:55

Heck, not sure. Part of me thinks she may not be ready to do the walk alone just yet, as much as she wants to. Even as an adult with dyspraxia and on the autism spectrum I can find crossing roads a huge challenge. I'd worry about her panicking and running off in a random direction under a truck...

Original poster

yanny · 27/04/2011 11:16

It really is difficult. I've spent the last year putting it off although back then when she first started asking there was no way she was ready. I just feel now like she could be but I did feel a bit ill at the prospect of her walking even part way alone. Maybe walking a distance behind her would be a good start, I know though dd won't be too happy with that. She is craving some independence which is understandable and I really want her to have some too. Thanks for your replies!

OP posts:

MarzipanNutPie · 27/04/2011 11:24

Are the lollipop ladies visible to each other? just wondering if she is finding them not being visiable a problem?

Maybe have a few places she will stand still at if she is unhappy and you follow her after five minutes so she can attempt the walk but know that you will be there soon?

Any friends she could meet up with along her route?

Original poster

yanny · 27/04/2011 11:36

She loses sight of each lollipop lady before she gets to the next one due to bends in the road. Nobody from our area has children at her school. My thinking cap is worn out, this has been the topic of conversation in our house for a long time! Thanks for the ideas so far!

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 27/04/2011 11:50

ok, then make a plan

Mon I walk just behind you. If you do that OK, then the next day I walk 5 meters behind you, if that goes Ok then........

Original poster

yanny · 27/04/2011 12:00

Thanks IndigoBell, will give that a try. Fingers crossed!

OP posts:

asdx2 · 27/04/2011 12:09

You could try what the experts call backward chaining. So you walk with her up to a point say 20 metres from the school. Once she is confident there you walk with her to a point say 40 metres from the school. The reasoning being that she is only learning 20 metres at a time because you don't move back until dd is fully confident.

IndigoBell · 27/04/2011 12:14

Oh, that sounds a much better plan than mine

(That is why I am addicted to this forum. I constantly learn so much)

Original poster

yanny · 27/04/2011 12:57

asdx2 thanks very much. So for example I could walk her to the crossing by school, and work up to the crossing halfway and finally the crossing outside our street? Haven't heard of backward chaining before, that's interesting thanks.

OP posts:

asdx2 · 27/04/2011 13:08

Yes that's the idea although if you are very nervous and she has "form" for getting lost, having a panic or just being unaware of dangers then you make the distance shorter so that she isn't out of your sight until she is confident on that stretch.

Marne · 27/04/2011 13:35

Is there another child/friend who could walk with her? I would also suggest walking behind her. I hope you find something that works.

EllenJane1 · 27/04/2011 13:48

I did something very similar with my DS2 with ASD about 6 months ago. He is 11 and in y6 so I'm getting him in training for secondary. He has a scooter, so was always miles ahead of me and my DS3, having to wait at every road. We have 4 roads to cross, 2 very minor, one middling and one with ped xing. We did the backward chaining method, letting him go on ahead at stages further and further away from school, with the advantage that I was walking on behind with DS3. He will now do the whole journey on his own, even though it still scares me! Friends who see him en route say he is very careful, which gives me comfort.

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