Bedtime and toileting - help!

[DietcokeGirl]

Hope you all enjoying Easter - we had three good days but feeling a little exasperated today due to tiredness!

Don't carry on reading if you are eating!!

Anyway, we have slowly started toilet training over past few weeks due to DS1 showing interest in toilet. He has been wearing nappy but going to toilet AFTER he has wet/soiled nappy. We put contents in toilet. Most of the time when he starts soiling he goes and finishes off on toilet but doesn't clearly doesn't get out what he needs to if you get my drift. He getting a bit sore with it too as just doing lots of little poops. Last week he didn't want to put nappy back on so we thought we would be brave and go for pants this w/end. He happy to wear them. He won't go to the toilet for a wee and just wetting himself. He up and down with going for poop but we made it to toilet most times so that not going too bad. He has actually done another poop in toilet after doing bit he started in pants twice today. Result. Sorry this is a bit gross.

I just need to keep it up but flagging with the wee already! I know some of you have done the 'straight to pants' when toilet training with your DCs. Did you find the weeing in toilet the hardest bit? Do I just stick it out now and hope that he will get his head round it?

It is getting long so will be quick about bedtime. I think we have been too soft. DS1 now in my bed. He sleeps all night (most nights) so easier and am more able to cope. The last couple of weeks he has started stringing out going to bed big time! We are lucky if we get him settled by 8.30pm (used to be around 7.30pm). Its more like 9/9.30pm. He really tired too. I think it transition issue. Is it time to get tough, put him in his room with stairgate on? I am really struggling now as hardly get an evening.

Thanks for reading.

How old is your DS? Sorry, can't remember. Have to say for weeing I just had mind with no bottoms on at all for speed and for them to see themselves weeing, so they could associate that feeling with having a wee. Not sure if naked bottoms are PC, but in our house and garden only. So it was in the holidays. Weeing was really quick. Pooing, however..... Hypo-sensory stuff going on there. Suffice to say we still have some skiddy pants issues and late visits to the loo.

With sleeping in his own bed, does he fall asleep alone or do you have to be with him? Important to get him falling asleep alone, hopefully in his own bedroom! If he's having late mornings with the Easter hols, maybe why he's not tired? Wake him up normal school day time.

Would need a bit more info to help really. Age, how he gets to sleep, what's his normal routine. Is he at nursery or school daily, does he still have daytime naps, etc.

EJ - he is 3.9.

Have no problem with no pants days. In fact, we did that for nearly a whole day and I think he held his wee in. That's why I was up in the night he was soaked (had nappy on). He has occasionally been to toilet but just put winkie in and said psssss and not done anything. Not sure he gets it yet. He is making progress with poo, he just started one in his pants and finished off on toilet. I really encouraged him (cringe) and he did another big poo in toilet - yeah! It more of a battle to get him to toilet now he hasn't got nappy on but bearable.

Since we put him in bed (nearly a year ago) the trouble started! We have to stay with him until he goes to sleep. If we don't stay in room he does a runner! Up until a couple of mths ago he did go to sleep in his own bed but would come into bed with me at some point during the night. I then had a month of us all having colds etc and was exhausted so let him go to sleep in my bed. It was better tbh as get more sleep. Since he has been on Omega 3 oils he hasn't been pushing his feet into me etc (coincidence maybe?!) so even better. But, the last few weeks he has been really trying to avoid going to bed - roley poley, jumping, running on bed etc etc. He is shattered so its not as though he isn't tired. He does go through phases doing this but it's every night now and think it worse being in my bedroom - more space and distractions.

He goes to nursery 3 days a week. He doesn't have daytime nap. He has got up later this w/end so yeah that prob made it worse. During the week he would prob sleep in later but when I get up with DS2 (bout 7ish) he senses I have got up so gets up and is still bit tired. Nursery have said he is tired lately during the day.

We do have bedtime routine but getting him in bath now is nightmare. Not sensory as when he gets in loves it and stays in ages. Autism support and I think it is transition issue?

Gosh, how to get him to fall asleep alone in his own bedroom? Kids with ASD do tend to find getting to sleep difficult. Doesn't sound like bathtime is very calming! He knows it means bedtime soon, maybe, so is putting it off? Routine is important do they can wind down. Hot milky drink?

We got quite strict with DS2 that he has to stay in his room at bedtime, and he has no electrics or electronics but he is allowed to look at books. We didn't worry too much if he wasn't in his bed so long as he was doing something quietly and on his own. After an hour or so we'd go up and say lights out, lie down in bed now. But we always had him getting off to sleep alone, from 10 mths or so. The transition from cot to bed seemed quite painless.

You may get some help on the child development board as well as it's not a unique to SEN problem, IYSWIM. I'm no bloody use!

Ah, thanks EJ it is hard to pinpoint what is causing the bedtime chaos.

Bathtime - I do think part of is he knows its nearly bedtime and also he doesn't like hairwash (don't do it often, hair is tres short). If he decides to get in then its great but most nights its a battle that I often end up losing. More lately though I think its also to do with toileting as the other night it was hell so we gave in. We put his nappy on etc then he did a poo, bless him.

Bedtime - he went to sleep on his own from about 2 months old! I did the whole putting him down whilst drowsy and that worked until he transferred to a bed. Freedom!! He does have milk at bedtime. When he decides to drop the jumping and roley poley show he gets in bed and can fall asleep within 10 minutes. If he is v tired and wants to go to bed again he can get to sleep quickly. I think he just wants to stay up so stays awake as long as he possibly can. I am not sure it's the GETTING to sleep that is his problem. Or have I missed the point? I don't mind if he plays for an hour as long as he stays in his room - maybe a gate on his door is worth a try. I did buy one last year but didn't want to distress him so didn't both using it.

If we go for ABA then hopefully they will help me gather the strength to tackle it!!!

Oh some progress with the toileting today (I think). He not done a wee since lunchtime but just as I was changing DS2's nappy he appeared with a wet patch on his trousers. I put clean pants/trousers on but couldn't understand why his pants weren't really wet and no wet patch on carpet. I went to wash hands and two big puddles in downstairs toilet and some on toilet seat and in toilet. Am so happy!!

Give him a great big hug! [bugrin]

Oh no, the bunnies have gone!

EJ - I have totally overdone it - have been dancing round the room singing 'you have done a wee wee in the toilet - yeah yeah' etc. He was smiling so think he understood he had done something brilliant!!

i would try a weighted blanket too. reminds me of a friends little boy - not sure where she got it but she has a heavier weighted duvet or coverlet of some sort.

melatonin to initiate routine? actually he's a bit little for that, i think.

good luck with the toilet training x

dietcokegirl, your DS sounds very much like my DD (3.3 with s&l delay and suspected asd).

DD doesn't go to sleep on her own either and struggles to get into this drowsy sleepy stage to go off to sleep. getting her to sleep can easily take 2 hours. I noticed that the going to sleep battles takes much longer since the days are longer as well. I started putting big card boards into the windows to block out the light. still difficult to get DD to sleep but most days she goes to sleep quicker now. she can't go to sleep when there is light for some reason...

we are also in the middle of the toilet training and we are working with rewards, usually a tiny, tiny piece of chocolate (chocjunkie2 in the making :o) and this works pretty well for us. have you tried rewards?

chocjunkie - does your DD take a long time to get to sleep once she is in bed or is it the time she takes to get into bed that is the problem?

I could be wrong but I think with my DS1 its the transition from playtime to bed that is the problem. Once he actually gets into bed it doesn't take long. If he is absolutely shattered then he can be alseep for 7.15/7.30pm as he too tired to play.

On that note, DH has just got him to sleep -

Ah, if the chocolate works - go for it!