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Already getting nervous about DD starting back at school............

11 replies

Floopytheloopy · 25/04/2011 11:15

And there's still a week to go!!

I really thought I would relax these Easter holidays because I don't have to worry about what might have happened when DD goes to school. I don't have to deal with that awful, stomache churning moment where I go and pick her up and I sheepishly ask "was she ok?" It makes me sound so weak, but I often walk through the doors shaking. I think I manage to disguise it slightly though.

The thing that's making me really nervous is that when she starts back there will be several more children starting, one of which will need the TA attention more than my DD. The TA kind of works as her 1 to 1 if she needs it. When I had a meeting with the school the other week they said that she was doing well overall but that they were concerned what would happen after Easter. In other words they know it's probably not going to work out so get ready to fight for extra help. I think I know who the TA will be with instead and he's a rather severely autistic little boy, so it's fair enough that his needs are greater than my dds. Having said that i'm just terrified that things are going to go horribly wrong and that we'll temporarily lose her again. When something snaps with dd she can regress quite a lot and for quite a long time. When that happens I just fall straight into depression and don't feel strong enough to cope. That being said,I obviously don't have a choice.

I just wish I could put it out of my mine. Just for this week.

Is anyone else feeling like this?

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IndigoBell · 25/04/2011 11:40

Sounds like both your DD and this other kid need a proper statement with their own 1:1 specified in it......

Have you got one? Applied for one?

StarlightMcKenzie · 25/04/2011 11:44

'one of which will need the TA attention more than my DD'

Provision isn't supposed to be given to the most needy then work its way up until you run out of resources. If your dd needs a 1:1 for some of the time then that is what she needs. If they school are worried then tbh I'd be worried.

Have you considered applying for a statutory assessment?

Floopytheloopy · 25/04/2011 12:16

The next step we were taking was getting her some speech therapy, because I think a lot of her behavioural issues come down to her frustration at not being able to express herself. I've heard some brilliant stories of how speech therapy managed to fix everything. It has such a knock on affect afterall.

Pre school and the primary school were in contact with each other regarding my dd several months before she was due to start the transition period. They applied for funding for her which they did recieve, but as of yet they haven't needed. The main thing obviously though is that they have it.

When we had a meeting a month or so ago with the TA and SENCO we breifly met with another childs inclusion support officer and she rather bluntly said that our dd was doing so well there was no way that she required their help/services. At the time you don't know how to feel about it. Were they sweeping her "minor" needs under the carpet , or did they really believe that she will be fine with just a little more encouragment from her teachers than the "average" child would need.

I wonder though if this can ever really be the case.

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EllenJane1 · 25/04/2011 13:10

I'd go with sweeping her 'minor' needs under the carpet. From their pov your DD may not be a priority. Sorry, Floopy, but you are the only one who can make sure she gets the support she needs. You can't afford to think of other children, their parents will have to do the fighting for them. If your DD really struggles next term that will at least be good ammunition.

You've received a lot of advice on here, so I think you can see that the consensus is that you will have to get even pushier to get your DD the support she needs. No-one else is going to do it for you. Get help, advice from parents in partnership, get evidence that your DD struggles without support, keep a diary of incidents and 'chats' with the teacher/SENCo. Get that journey to a DX started, request SA.

Sorry if it sounds blunt, we're not trained counsellors! Good luck.

IndigoBell · 25/04/2011 13:25

They applied for funding for her which they did recieve, but as of yet they haven't needed

Ummmm...... This money is meant to be spent on your DD. She does need it - she needs a TA 1:1 - you need to be the biggest PITA imaginable and make sure they spend the money on your DD that they are meant to

Floopytheloopy · 25/04/2011 13:31

EllenJane1- I accept that you're not trained counsellors, but I kind of get the impression that you just want me to stop posting. I am seeking help for my daughter.

You say that i've recieved a lot of advice on here as though i'm taking up space. Please don't think i'm clueless. I ask advice because sometimes I need it. Sometimes I just vent some anger or sadness. Shock horror!!! God knows i've spoken to enough people on here who are doing the same and though I don't always agree with them, I wouldn't want to make them feel even more isolated than they are already feeling.

I am keeping a diary of chats and meeings and we are taking her back to see the gp this week. So we are getting the journey started.

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EllenJane1 · 25/04/2011 14:44

Sorry, floopy, didn't mean it like that. You are always welcome to ask advice and vent! Generally, though, you'll keep getting similar advice to similar questions. Enjoy the Easter break, get ready for the fight next term.

Floopytheloopy · 25/04/2011 15:21

Thank you. You too.

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Jennylee · 25/04/2011 15:43

I know what you mean about worrying what is going to happen I'm trying to sort high school for my son which is looming nearer and nothing is sorted

StarlightMcKenzie · 26/04/2011 11:15

Floopy, nobody wants you to stop posting. Nobody. If anything we desperately WANT you to post because some of us more experienced parents can see things that you can't yet and are anxious that the hell we have been through can count for something in the prevention of the despair fo others.

But you have to stop being so defensive.

Floopytheloopy · 26/04/2011 12:34

Starlight, I know im being defensive. Obviously im grateful for the advice from everyone. My last thread however was more just a vent of anxiety so I wasn't really expecting advice as such. Just maybe a"i know how you're feeling" posts. Obviously it's an open discussion so anyone can post what they like. I have had some brilliant advice on here in the past and it's been much appreciated.

Please don't think i'm just trying to cause friction, I was just a little miffed I suppose.

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