Ok, this is my first time posting on here so please bear with me. DD has always been different. DH and I have always said that she's not normal ( oh god that sounds awful). Her behaviour has always been wild. She jumps and climbs and throws things. She doesn't really sleep. Maybe slept 2 nights in her own bed all night. She does weird things like eating soap and putting things on her head or in her hair. From when she was born, she has always been extremely clingy to me. She cried for the first eleven months constantly unless I was holding her, day and night. Of course that was fun for the relatives that looked after her when I went back to work. After she stopped having milk she seemed to cry less. She never really liked it anyway and was often sick after it. She is still clingy though and follows me everywhere I go. She can cope at the relatives houses that she is at regularly during the day and she is at preschool as well. I don't take her to the preschool so that might help her with that.
We took her to A & E when she appeared to have a reaction to the antibiotics she was taking. I'm still not entirely sure that it wasn't a tantrum although what it was about I still don't know. The doctor we saw obviously had concerns as he asked a lot of questions about her behaviour and her speech etc. Whilst we were the tantrums finished and she was going crazy trying to run up the halls of the ward, we wouldn't let her so she had another tantrum and was throwing herself on to the furniture etc. The doctor reffered us to the paediatrician. The paediatrician mentioned ADHD on the first visit but she wouldnt be willing diagnose that as she is so young (3.2 at the time, 3.8 now). She also prescribed Melatonin for her sleep issues, but I've been reluctant to use it as yet. On the follow up visit she mentioned ASD and gave me some websites to check out. She also said she would like to arrange a multi agency meeting to discuss it but I'm not sure what that means.
I mentioned the comment about ASD to her Early Years teacher and she said it has crossed her mind as well. She wants to arrange Statutory Assessment and hopes that the EP will suggest it after preschool visit but I haven't heard anything from her at all. Her preschool are concerned about her and feel she will need extra support in school. At her parents evening they basically begged me not to send her to special school. I hadn't even thought of it as an option. They also suggested deferring her from school for a year. She will be a very young 4 when she starts school in September. But then her preschool teacher seems keen to downplay her issues as well as they "don't want her to be labelled". I just want her to get the help she needs.
I feel kind of odd about the whole thing as well. ADHD has been on my mind since day 1ish. But, ASD, well that?s something new to me. I have read up on it and I'm still a little unclear as to where she fits in.
She has no issues at all with eye contact, certainly not with myself or people she knows. I'm not sure where she stands with that with people she doesn't know.
Her imaginative play is very good indeed. She plays with dolls all the time, almost exclusively, she occasionally uses toothbrushes as doll substitutes (I can't tell you how many times we have had to by new toothbrushes. It is at least once a week lol).
She loves to dress up. She pretends to drink from a toy cup after pouring pretend tea. The other day, she lapped up her drink as if from a bowl on the floor and then she came over and said "woo Woo" which is Woof Woof.
She still doesn't really play with other children. She prefers to do her own thing and will usually push other kids away if they try to join in. She has played alongside one child in the same area at preschool, but the child is apparently extremely patient with DD and if DD wants something she has, she gives it to her and if DD wants her to go away she does.
She still kicks, bites, punches people. She also kisses random strangers.
She has regular tantrums if things don?t go the way she wants. She still doesn?t seem to be able to sit still for long although, she did recently let me read a short book to her when I added interactive bits into it.
She can match colours and can point as if to count but doesn?t say the colours or numbers.
She is still very clingy towards me and it took a while to get her settled at preschool. Once she had attached herself to a certain teacher she got better with it. I don?t take her to preschool, my family do, so I?m not sure if she would be ok with me leaving her. Once we get to preschool to pick her up she just attaches herself to me the whole time.
She still has sleep issues. She will sometimes fall asleep at around 8ish though which is an improvement. Even now, she still wakes up and gets into our bed. I have tried the usual sleep tactics. A few nights ago, I attempted to keep putting her back in her own bed each time. I lost count after 150. She thought it was a game. It went on from 11pm-1:30am. I eventually fell aseep in her room and she did too. At 4:15 she came into our room. I would have tried the same again but we had to be up at 6am so by the time she would have gone to sleep we would have been up.
She is still not potty trained. I have tried leaving her with nothing on, but she just holds it all day and then if she falls asleep, either at night or for a nap I will put a nappy (diaper) on her and she will do her business. She is quite happy to sit on the potty or the toilet but nothing ever happens. I don?t think she really gets the point although I have tried to explain it to her she doesn?t understand.
Anyway, I still don?t really know where we are. Clearly, she has issues. Clearly, she will need help at school. We are not currently sure why or what is the issue. We are not currently sure of the best course of action.
I?ve been reading up so much about ASD lately that I feel like I?m going crazy. On the one hand, it really does sound like DD. On the other hand, it sounds nothing like her. DD has always had great eye contact. She has always been fine with imaginative play. Although, she didn?t used to hug anyone but me, unless she instigated it. She now accepts hugs and kisses from others. She will bring toys to people. I have known her to point at things although it is rare. Her speech is improving as well. But then, there is something that is just not quite right about her. She does do weird things like putting stuff on her head, going cross eyed all the time, having meltdowns, really struggling with being separated from me. Her speech is still markedly behind. And there is just no way she will cope with school. Having said that, I?m shocked with how she copes with preschool but then again they work with her a lot. And they give her a lot of leeway on things. Her preschool teacher said that the other children are very patient with DD and that helps.
That just won?t happen at school. I almost wish they hadn?t mentioned ASD at all, then I wouldn?t be sort of pinning my ?hopes? on that, if it isn?t that at all. Is it that? Is it something else? Is it nothing? I really need to know soon otherwise I?m just gonna crack up!!
I don?t even really know how I feel about it all. I think on the one hand if she was diagnosed with ASD and/or ADHD it would be awful because of the obvious reasons but then I think I would feel relieved that it?s not just that I am a hopeless parent with no clue how to teach a child the basics and no clue how to discipline bad behaviour.
I guess I just wanted to talk it through with people who are not involved but may know from their own experiences some of the issues we are facing. Sorry this is so long and disjointed I am just getting it all out of my head.