Anyone else have an ASD child but feels they can't justify applying for DLA?

[dietcokeandwine]

Someone asked me the other day about DLA for DS1 (7, ASD DX) and I explained I have never applied and for the moment don't intend to because I don't think we could ever get it so no point...her comment was basically along the lines of 'you will get DLA if he has an ASD DX'.

But that's not right is it? My understanding is that you have to prove that your child requires significantly more care than an NT child of the same age?

DS most definitely has his issues and quirks and, particularly when you see him amongst his peers at school, it's clear he's not NT (really struggles with listening/concentration, has some auditory processing difficulties, doesn't 'get' jokes, finds social interaction difficult, presents as quite immature for his age, some mild stimming etc etc). He receives excellent support for these difficulties at school and is progressing well.

But in terms of our care of him, outside of the demands of school, I don't think he is much different to an NT child his age. He eats well, sleeps well, has good safety awareness, no challenging behavioural issues, isn't prone to meltdowns, goes happily to parties, after school clubs etc. Admittedly he can occasionally get a bit boisterous with DS2 (but responds quickly when told to calm down);I probably do more in the way of talking to DS to prepare him for events that are going to happen, and I'm sure I "manage" playdates rather more closely than NT parents probably do. But that is about the sum of the additional 'effort' his ASD requires of us, as his parents (I am acutely aware, btw, that we are very very lucky in this regard)

But I really, really don't see how we could possibly get DLA for him, I don't think we could even justify an application.

My friend is equally adamant that we would and could.

Who's right? Would be very interested to hear people's thoughts.

there is so much that we, as parents do without thinking any more of it. they are our kids after all. with one of the forms for youngest, I got CAB to help, and mentioned to the woman that there are so many other kids that need it more than mine. she told me, 'your DD is disabled, whether you like it or not. she needs extra help and there will always be other worse off than her. If you arnt eligable, you wont be awarded it, so try for it'

forgot to say earlier tha both my DD have dyspraxia but DD2 is being assessed for ASD

Well OP you were right that it is not dx based and is needs based; as it should be.

The question it seems to me is would the money significantly improve the safety or life wuality in terms of what is affected by ASD.

For us it was a yes; silly things like ruined carpets etc mean we have to spend £££££ not to lose our tenancy and risk horrid housing issues, thus feeding into stability; special diets; the fact I cannot work,that their SN schools are inaccessible by bus (rural area) and Dh takes car away each day.

OTOH when we had a child knwoing he was HR ASD we made a pledge not to claim DLA is he had ASD (and he has been referred) as there was nothing he would need we could not already source from what is provided for the otehr two (had he had say CP and needed differnet things itb would be different).

It is a personal dilemma and I think the outcome is individual and case based, my only judgement would be if someone allowed their child to go without chances by refusing to claim for moral reasons.

(lucky you with a 57 pagre form LOL- you should see how depressing the apck looks when it has both English and Welsh variants enclosed!)

Thank you so much for all of your comments, really helpful.

You have confirmed what I had thought all along - as in being needs, not DX based. And at the moment there is no real 'care' gap as far as I can tell (having talked to various friends with NT 7 year olds). So it isn't that I feel I'd be betraying him by completing the forms - or that I feel I 'shouldn't' apply for it on moral grounds - it is simply that there isn't really anything I could say at the moment. Even DS's DX report is peppered with comments like 'DS's self help skills are age appropriate'.

That said though I absolutely agree with those of you who have said things could change as he gets older. I can totally imagine this happening. At the moment, I honestly don't feel I do anything for him that I wouldn't do for a typical 7 year old, but yes in 3/4/5 years time this may well change if the gap widens between him and the peer group, as I suspect it might.