I need help, advice, guidance before I lose my mind in a panic.

[TheOriginalFAB]

As a result of this thread I now have new things to consider with my 5 year old and don't know where to start really. Peachy has sent me some very helpful links but I just now if I take him to the GP and ask for DS2 to be assessed he will think I am mad.

can you ask HV or school nurse?
GP wont think your mad, but one thing i learnt over the years is write concerns down and take DH with you if his able to come.
Tell him clearly you want him referred as your concerned about A, B, C and this is a problem because it effects his daily life because D, E, F.
be strong and firm and dont take no for an answer.

The HV isn't interested once the children go to school. I don't know if we have a school nurse but could I ring the one who saw my son for his extra hearing test?
As DS2 has had quite an unusual experience and I have depression I find I am dismissed quite a lot as crazy and/or a hypochondriac and a worrier.

I agree with LisaD; GP won;t think you are mad but it's easy to get fluestered when you are there so do take a list.

Also, ds1 was very ahrd to dx at first and it helped that we asked for and got a letter from school just saying his behaviour was at times of concern.

But GP's listen; it's wprth remembering that many know little about ASD (a tale I oft repeat is the one where my uni totor was doing a training day with GPs and he asked what autism was and the answer given was 'something about hearing') but if you can make a note of a concern in the areas of the triad I can't see he can relalistically not refer you.

Hugs by the way, you are being brave seeking answers.

I don't feel brave. I feel stupid as I don't even know what to put for what my concerns are. TBH before I posted I just felt like he was very loving and socialable as he had been out more and held more as a baby. I felt there was something but just put it down to what had happened when I was pregnant with him.

And it could still be that, don;t think of this as anything other than ruling out a concern. Remember we don;t know your son; you do.

And even if there is something it's usual to seek reasons even if you know they are not real. Depending on the day I have about twenty I can randomly assign!

ASD isn;t one thing, we now refer to it as autisms as there are so many causes, and as a result so many different children. DS3 is 7.5 and opretty amrkedly affected- attends a specialist abse etc- but is so loving and outgoing that he is actually at risk from that (naivety + loving nature = risk sadly). Far from being the typical closed off asd stereotype, we got to playclub's first easter session yesterday and his TA for the break came running over shouting his name with her arms thrown wide for a hug, they love his company so much.

No one has ever said anything about DS2 not being NT except the head of infants mentioned about having him assessed once they knew the whole story about him. This came about because he had pushed a child over and grabbed their arm. I knew nothing until the parent phoned me and left threatening messages on my phone. I spoke to her about his birth and he is meant to be getting extra support. I asked what that entailed and it is a friendship club but they leave it up to the child to decide whether to go or not . In 2 weeks I am taking my DD for more treatment and I will discuss the plan for DS2 then.

Sounds like circle of friends, ds1 had that and it was good.

Can you ask Head straight out? I hate people hinting and implying and always annoy them by asking if they can state exactly what they eman with no ambiguity.

had a quick look at your other thread. something else that sprung to mind was some sort of sensory processing issue, like auditory processing disorder. (can exist by itself or together with ASD). But it literally is spring to mind - I have not the faintest idea whether you just have a quirky child, whether it is something to do with losing a twin or some other issue.

agree with peachy about getting school to specify any concerns re:behaviour/socialising etc. it is useful to have that as backup when talking to doctor/school nurse etc.

even if you aren't at point yet to ask GP for assessment, it can be helpful reading around the SN type issues to see if anything rings bells or not, in particularly any practical suggestions re behaviour that you can try out now anyway.

TBH I am getting more confused. If the parent hadn't have phoned me I would never have found out ds had pushed another child. I was really and when Miss X said about having him assessed as I didn't even know that was on their mind. When they go back to school on Tuesday I will ask for a meeting with her. What am I going to say though, some people on a website suggested I have him assessed? I know you lot ore real and amazing but she doesn't! .

are not ore.

DS2 is very huggy but has started wiping off kisses. I just assumed that was his age .

He did used to walk on his tip toes but doesn't now. He has one shoulder blade higher than the other but is straight from his pelvis down. His sister isn't.

He does show me tiny scratches and ask for plasters .

When he was small he used to have to have certain tops to sleep in so he could sort of kiss it and all his pyjamas have to be long sleeved and soft. I thought this was because we took his dummy off him when he was 6 months old.

say you have been thinking things over during the holiday (absolutely true, just omit that you have been thinking aloud on a website!), and would like to know more about why they suggested assessment and how your lad is getting on socially.

try not to panic too much at individual quirks - sure the toe walking/wanting soft pjs can be part of a pattern of sensory issues, but they can just be normal kid quirks.

I will definitely see Miss X when the kids go back to school. I do think he is okay and will be fine if the osteopath can help him but now the idea has been put in my head I can't ignore it. I have to make sure I do everything I can to make sure he is fine.

easy to say try not to panic or worry too much, but erm try not to panic and worry too much. and bear in mind that IF you do go down the assessment route it can take months, so nothing is going to happen uber quickly. worth double checking if teacher doesnt raise it if she has any concerns about his concentration and/or understanding of language/instructions.

No one has said anything about any concerns other than him kissing the teacher, stroking her leg when he was 4 and not understanding that other kids don't want to be cuddled all the time. He is 5 now.