Education psychologist's review... what to do?!

[upyourdiva]

In September last year I was asked to contact my Health Visitor about DS' (aged 4) behaviour as he was becoming quite aggressive and hyperactive at home and nursery, which I did and was told that the Educational Psychologist (lets say EP) would be in contact.

I was informed in February that the EP had been into nursery and assessed DS during a 2 hour play session 2 weeks previous and that I should recieve the report soon, I never did and seen it for the first time this morning in Nursery when I was asked to sign it.

Reading over it there are a few things that don't make sense to me and did'nt sound like DS, when I pointed these out to the nursery staff they told me that there were 1 or 2 points they were'nt sure about either.

I am just confused nd not really sure what to think about it all. Apparently the EP is coming back on the 4th of May to re-assess before he starts school in August (we are in Scotland) but I have no idea what they are looking for and no-one seems to have any answers and I have still never recieved any correspondance from the EP nor my HV.

Is this normal?

The assessment basically stated that DS had

1. Serious fine motor skills, which turned out to be taht he has issues holding a pen
2. Problems making friends (this is news to me)
3. Has issues with sharing, this was an issue I and the nursery felt had improved greatly.
4. He lacks language skills and understanding, which again is news to myself and the nursery as well as anyone else I have told.

It mentions that he may need support in school which upset me a lot, I know people fight for the help and he will be getting it from the start which in a way is good but it still was a shock to see on paper!

I don't really know what I am expecting peiople to say to be honest I am just shocked, angry and upset by the whole thing and I can't really determine why, it's just knocked me for six generally!

Really sorry for going on I just needed to rant I guess...

I would suggest that you ask to be present when the EP returns to re assess. Help at school is never a bad thing but don't feel under pressure to just nod and say yes to any and every report a professional writes - which is probably what they are expecting you to do.

Also , don't sign anything !

That sounds just horrendous we have a DD aged 4.4 who has just been assessed by EP 2 weeks ago. We are in N Ireland. EP wrote to us first to explain we would be seen in a few months then telephoned to arrange an assessment time (to be carried out in the nursery) and prior to doing this called at the home for 2 hours with me to discuss any concerns I had and ask lots of questions about DD. She carried out 2 short assessments at the nurser and got the nursery teacher to complete a questionnaire and also tell her of their concerns. You might find that your nursey did not want to share their concerns with you incase you got cross? The Ep report came back with a lot of stuff that shocked me and very similar to you. DD has fine motor skills issues holding pencil etc so we have started Occupational therapy yesterday for this. She had delayed speech however this is ok now (had vents put in ears and attends speech therapy) Has difficult having conversations with peers I had never noticed this because she plays just great in our house with her chums but apparently this is because I am there and it is familiar surroundings etc have now noticed that she does struggle to iniate conversation with kids but will go up to random strangers and tell them what she had for breakfast or "look at my shoes". The Ep called back out at the house to discuss all her findings and tolds me she feels DD has ASD, which floored me. She was then happy just to wait and see how DD gets on at school but we are not and are now starting the request for a formal assessment because much as I did not want to admit it DD does need assistance. I think your EP has been very unprofessional in her approach you should be kept in the loop every step of the way.
You should request a meeting!!!

Ring her up and ask if she'd meet with you to discuss/explain her findings to date.

Language is a funny thing - I have an early talker with a massive vocab so thought I'd done well especially as his pronounciation is excellent ( noone noticed his tongue tie till 5 years). But he has a diagnosed social communication disorder - most of my family couldn't stop laughing when they heard that diagnosis at first - to a lay person it seemed incomprehensible.

He has massive problems with comprehension of sequential language and understanding positional instructions which have caused him great angst in the school environment. Language in this context also includes fuzzy stuff like facial expressions, body language, tone used etc. This wasn't an issue or even noticed at nursery, but when he started school everything fell apart When I reread my lad's nursery reports the comments on his language skills are glowing yet his issues now re serious enough for him to need a statement! (Only 2% of kids are classed as needing a statement nationally so this isn't a minor problem). He's borderline asd with serious sensory issues, yet based on his nursery reports I couldn't reasonably have been expected to have an inkling of warning of this.

I suppose what I'm saying is that nursery staff just aren't qualifed to pick up on the finer nuances of language development in young children. The EP MAY be onto something that for the sake of a wee bit of early intervention now will make or break your child as they grow older. No EP worth their salt will object to meeting with you, in fact she'll probably have a few questions for you too, to help her complete her report. She'll be used to explaining stuff in laymans terms too.

Lots of children need a little extra help in the early days, so don't be upset. A wee tweak or xtra support, now to help may avoid massive problems in his teens. Most children need a little extra support over and above the national curricuum sausage factory, at some point in the 18 years it takes to raise them in area or another. Some are slow to potty train, or hop, some get stressed by exams. Meet with the EP with an open mind, don't get upset until you are sure it's summat to be truly upset about iykwim.

Hi everyone and thanks for your replies, I have calmed down a bit now but it's still playing in my head. I have said for a long tme that there was something not quite right with DS but am completely wrecked now that someone has actually confirmed it!

Willow- I will do that even if it is on the sidelines as DS would probably act differently around me and I already spoke to the nursery staff and signed the assessment sheet, will this cause trouble in the long run?

Gigglebiz- Your situation sounds very much like ours, he will speak to anyone but it is about the most random things or pointing out something rather than havinga conversation if that makes sense. The pen thig is also a bit of a sore point for me today because I finally got DS to write his name (with help) yesterday on a birthday card which I was so pleased about because he has never been interested before but I did notice he seemed to have difficulty deciding which hand to use, one minute it was left then right.

I am going to contact HV and request the contact details of the EP so that I can arrange a meeting and discuss her findings so that II can get a bit more background on them, I think that's the biggest problem I have understanding it. How can they just watch him for 2 hours and decide all his issues from that?!

Bochead- Some of the things you have said have just hit home with me! DS has always had issues with simple instructions and personal space, expression etc.

I guess I just have to sort my head out a bit...

Thank you

No I don't think it will affect things that much - was it worded in terms of " I have read and I agree, or just a signature acknowledging that you have read it ? Anyway I wouldn't worry about it now, the main thing is to make personal contact with the EP and get some real discussion going.

Thanks willow, it was just to say that I have read through it and am happy with the findings.

I pointed out the bits I was not happy with to the nursery teacher and she spoke to me quickly about what it all means.

TBH I did sign mainly due to the fact that if I did'nt get out quick I would've broke down in tears in front of the nursery kids

Like I say, I would not worry too much about it. When you speak to EP, just be completely honest and say you signed it without fully understanding the implications and take it from there.

Hi it's always upsetting to hear something isn't quite right with your kids even if you are expecting it. I cried my eyes out when dd got ADHD dx even though I knew she would get it and I actually wanted the dx so she would get help! What I'm saying is it is a shock to get things confirmed especially when it's not quite what you expected. Def get in touch with EP and get things clarified and help know may stop heartache for ds in future years. All the best

Ed Psychs can't diagnose developmental disorders, what they do is assess support needs for educational settings.

So the assessments the Ed Psych's doing are to assess what help he's going to need in School. They may have an opinion on what the reason behind any difficulties are, but it's worth no more officially than anyone else's. So they're not looking for anything particularly, just does he have support needs? what needs to be put in place for him?

upyourdiva ditto what Tabulah said. I would go to your GP and ask for a referral, based on the EP's finding and original reasons for the assessment, to a developmental paediatrician. They can diagnose, if there is anything to dx. They won't find anything that isn't there, so don't be scared. This can take a while so I would get the ball rolling. Can I just say that the nursery sound great that they have recognised that he needs a bit of help and are 'setting' him up for school with some help.