Help! All my 11 yr old ds wants to do is go on his lap top!

[CrazyBabies]

Hi, I have been trying to encourage my 11 yr old to do other activities.
I childmind , so have extra children about, usually only 1 or 2. Plus I have 2 other ds.
I have asked him to come to the beach(which he hates), the park,( said he can bring a friend) etc.
He has visited friends and we have friends over. He is actually pretty popular!
He isn't just playing games, he googles things and looks at the funny things on You Tube.
I am struggling to encourage other activities, and its hard because there are other children. I also find him very arguementative with his brothers, and disrupts their play.
He wakes early and doesn't settle till late, so the days seem really long.
I feel like a really bad parent for letting him spend so much time on his lap top and worry that it is harming him.
The consultant said I need to provide activities for when he comes off the computer. I can think of Lego, baking, which he enjoys, but doesn't last for long, he loves magazines and reading, and not much else. We currently don't have use of the garden because of building works.
Please help.

Take it off him-limit the use and he will ave to find something else. If he is bored and moans just ignore him.

I have a similar problem with DS2 (11.) I limit the PC to 40mins, then same for the Wii, in the holidays. (Less on schooldays) With 3 DSs he tends to watch the others on their turn! Aaagh. He'll read a bit but seems to hate going out. I do a daily hour outside, either park or garden or a walk or bike ride. That's as much as I can force him! I've decided that's a good compromise and stopped worrying about it. If you get some good ideas/advice I'll be listening in.

We also really struggle to get ds (13 and asd) to be interested in anything beyond computers. One small thing which makes controlling his time on there easier is some software called Computertime - link here:www.softwaretime.com/ which lets you set time limits - can be a set amount of time per day and/or specific time slots. You can also print off time tokens as rewards or give an instant amount of time yourself using your administrator password. There are other similar types of software around but this is the one I'm familiar with. It doesn't stop the arguments but reduces them.

One other thing which helps us a bit is having a list of alternative activities printed out which you can refer ds to or ideally he can check himself for other things to do when he is bored. You could try brainstorming ideas of things to do together to produce the list so he feels involved - helps to cheat by having a good think yourself beforehand in case he can't think of anything. He also responds reasonably well to a timetable of events - again can involve him in producing it.

With a view to making the time he does spend on computer slightly less guilt laden, there is one thing he might enjoy on the laptop which is also vaguely constructive /educational: some software called Scratch scratch.mit.edu/ which is a simplified programming language. It works a little bit like slotting jigsaw pieces together on screen at its simplest level but also allows for more sophisticated programming as you learn more. You can produce little animations etc with it. You'd probably be pushing it to try some more overtly educational games sites such as mymaths but you could always try suggesting he earns some free surfing time by spending set amount of time on the educational sites first.

Also watching this thread with interest for others' advice on peeling reluctant addicts off their screens.

Ds1 is the same with his dsi and my laptop.

He is limited to one hour of computer/console/laptop time a day. On school days he has this time when I go to cook the tea and I try to time things so that tea is ready when he finishes. We have to be firm and give him 'times-up' warning in 5 minute increments though or there's trouble.

In the holidays the deal is that he can't go on any of them until after lunch. That way he spends at least half of every day doing other things.

Unfortunately his preferred alternative activity is reading - not good given that he has hypotonia and really poor core strength and I want him to be getting some exercise rather than spending all day hunched first over a book and then over an electronic gadget.

This holiday he has actually wanted to go outside after his DSi time most days, which was a pleasant turn up for the books.

After much persuasion and bigging it up by ds1, ds2 asked for a DSi for his birthday (last Monday) and now they can't wait to get together to play two-player games and swap pokemons every afternoon. Double trouble!

I have certain deals with ds so that he can go on my laptop for half an hour. One is if he has a theory ICT lesson instead of practise (that always winds him up) and the other is if he practises a chosen times tables by writing it out and saying it aloud 5 times. It can be quite good leverage to get him to do things he hates, but it only works because he doesn't have free access to it.

We limit screen time to an hour a day, that includes xbox, PC,psp and TV. No screens in his bedroom rule as well ( because it really helps his sleep).

However.. What we do is give 5 minute chucks of time for a reward.
So if ds comes out to the shops nicely or plays something with the family or speaks kindly etc etc he earns 5 minutes for each thing.
At the end of the day he can cash in all his earned 5 minutes for extra time.

Works well for all concerned here.