I have just filled out the questionnaire from my community paediatrician...

[Carrotsandcelery]

...that will be part of the information that they use to assess my son and decide if he has ADHD or something similar.

I feel a bit sick.

I feel like I have been very disloyal admitting to the things that I did.

I know he can't get help though unless I tell it like it is.

Did everyone else feel guilty having to say everything they had to say about their child when they were being diagnosed or am I being silly?

You are not being silly. Its very hard to focus on the negative things about any child. But you do need to focus on the fact that it does have to be negative for him to get the help. They are written down now so you dont have to think about them any more. Instead can you think of three things that are good about your DS?

It is really hard having to list all the negative things about your DC. It's quite natural to feel bad about it. But if it helps to get your DS the help and support he needs, it can only be a good thing.

Unfortunately it won't be the last time you are asked to list your concerns, but you do get a bit more thick skinned, eventually. Have and vent on here!

Thank you! I didn't know if I was being a bit precious or if others had felt the same.

He is a great wee boy and his positives far outweigh the negatives. I would hate for him to ever see what I wrote and think that was what I thought of him.

It is difficult, but you're putting that information down to help him, not to hurt him. It's emotionally upsetting to be listing all the difficulties - makes you feel like a traitor to your child. I hate it - but recognise the necessity of it.

Agree with Triggles... it's means to an end... support and help.
I have always hated talking about my son to professionals.. it feels like a betrayal of my love for him BUT it is necessary and the only way to ensure he gets the best help for his needs. Just try to remember that!

I have appointments where the docs expect me to talk about DS2 in front of him, and now I refuse outright.. we speak privately or not at all!

The DLA forms are even worse.. God I need a crate of wine to get thro those....

We spoke infront of the paediatrician but she did give me the opportunity to speak to her alone at the end of the consultation.

I didn't want to keep things secret from ds as he has an anxiety disorder as well and I felt being open would help.

I gave him a variety of opportunities to discuss the appointment with me afterwards and he didn't seem too bothered so I have let it lie.

I can see it is a necessary evil. I felt, as you say, like a traitor doing it though.

It is also upsetting to see it all there in one place. It looks a lot worse all there together whereas I don't find it all that hard to live with. I am used to him and have learnt to manage him. It is the rest of the world who are horrid to him struggle with him.

Luckily his class teacher is openly fond of him and seems to see the whole person, not just the random challenging behaviour. I wish he could stay with her for a bit longer.

If its any consolation i wept buckets last time i had to write down all the areas that still needed attention. I don't know whether it was because that although there has been immense progress, there's still so much to work on, or that really it is never ending. Either way, it made me think a little too hard about the future - and the past. I think having a child with SN/SEN is an emotional one. Emotionally draining, emotionally rewarding.

I wept buckets last night auntevil and when dh came home and I told him about it I set myself off again.

I have never been so upset about it as, whatever label may or may not be stuck on him, I have always told myself that he, in himself, is still the same fab kid.

It all got a bit worse today when his water bottle leaked all over the envelope containing the sealed up, out of sight, offending questionnaire so I have had to open it up to dry it out. Pah!

had to LOL at the soggy questionnaire bit - suppose that's why i'm 'evil'. it's that law again - just when you thought you'd seen the last of it, fate means you have to take it out again and dry it page by page. That is soooo unfair .
Definitely a for you - but don't spill it or you'll be drying it for a second time.

Thanks auntevil you made me laugh!

Is being offered? Yes please. Do you think tear stained DLA forms get fast tracked through?

A wine stained form might get fast tracked to SS?!!