im at the end of my nerve

[girlwithoutapearl]

hi i have a six year old son whos had big problems with his behaviour in school since nursery, they suspect he has aspergers and adhd. he has been excluded 26 times since xmas and they have finally awarded him a .8 statement which we have been told could take up to 16 weeks to process. however over the last few months he has needed pyhsical restraint by several teachers up to 12 times a day. last week it culminated in having a meeting at school where they have said he is only allowed in school for 3 hours a day in the morning.
i really dont want to winge but i have 5 children. xxoliverxx who died last year, a 7 year old daughter who is adhd, a 3 year old son with a growth disorder, epilepsy and gdd and autism, a husband who has frontal lobe brain damage and epilepsy and one other son. my time is already taken up by them and i only get a carer in for 6 hours a week as thats all that social services will give me. im at a point where i dont think i can take it anymore.
cant i tell the school it would be too much for him to come home or am i being impatient and ungreatful which is the impression i got?

Hi girlwithoutapearl. Don't really have an answer but hopefully someone else will. If he's 6 he should be in full time and the school/LA needs to get suitable support put in place. Would SS be supportive? It sounds like you've got enough on your plate.

It does sound as if you have so many things to deal with - is there someone that can provide you with some support so that you can cope with things a bit easier? It's not easy fighting these things when you're overwhelmed with other things as well.

Have you tried speaking to the SEN team at your local council, or do you have an inclusion support service at all. If this school cant cope with your DS then they need to have a plan of what they are going to do.

Do the school understand what sets him off? Is it something they can pinpoint (or yourself) to try and limit it?

It sounds like you have alot to worry about. Do you manage to get a break in the 6 hours you get?

the law states any child under 16 must get 24hrs schooling a week....if they don't get this you lose your child benefit as well.......phone parent partnership up and ask them for advice and help.....also your ds could get a split placement with a pru to make the hours up...you need to fight

try calling one of the helplines, ace, ipsea and sossen would be a good start, 16 weeks seems too long to implement a statement, they are supposed to start immediately but are usually given a little leeway, not this much. Are you happy with the statement? For a child that needs that ,much input, why only .8? Are you still within the time scale for appealing the statement if you are not happy, did you get it checked by someone independent?

It sounds like the school are trying to fob you off, if you son't want to flexi school, he is entitled to a full time education and they should be supplying that, if not I'd be wondering if this was the right school. Do you think it's too much for him or do you think they are unable to cope with him, these are 2 different issues? How are the school generally with sen provision? This seems like an awful lot of restraint needed when may be his behaviour could be managed before it gets to this level, do you think they need to recognise the triggers of his behaviour better? Have they any support from outside services?

definitely try the helplines for advice, have you been in touch with parent partnership, are they any good where you are?